Archive for June, 2007

Proof of just how out of touch is Dumbya:

The pelvis crushing defeat of any possibity of a
reformed immigration policy. He honestly believed he
could get this done. Why? Because he’s fucking
stupid.

To whit; despite that he’s been scraping them off his
shoe for six years, the democrats have had a majority
in the house for almost seven months and they’re not
about to afford him a victory no matter how symbolic.
And, half of his own party are now comfortable pissing
in his wind, particularly on this subject. What a
douchebag.

Dude, stick your finger in the air.

Of heavier notes………

The Supreme Court soiled itself yesterday.

“Rarely have so few undone so much, so
quickly”-Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer aiming
his pea shooter at dickheads Roberts, Scalia and
Alito.

I guess I’m a liberal on this issue. It occurs to me
that the the time to cease encouraging racial
diversity in a racially divided America is when said
country is no longer so transparently divided by race.

The logistics and implementation of affirmative action
programs et. al. have been flawed for sure, but I
believe the concept to be sound. It is good medicine for a
still sick society. We have yet to recover from our
bigotry and propensity to discriminate for petty and
pious reasons.

There are legitimate objections to the way various
policies have been allowed to manifest. Bureaucracy
sucks. Yet, until every American can begin life on a
level playing field, regardless of socio-econimic
status and/or something as simple as skin color, we
should continue to pursue legislating the ethic.

It is always a mistake to attempt to legislate
morality. It is often quite noble to undertake
legislating fairness and justice.

In other news:

Colin Powell is a pussy.

House and Senate judiciary committees found the
inevitable ‘get out of jail free’ card underneath the
morning muffin today when the Whitehouse revealed it
would be taking a steamer on the forehead of Congress
by once again, tirelessly running behind the
“Executive Privilege” house of cards.

Let’s back up a little. See, subpeonas were issued
yesterday to Dick-in-Bush, Dick and the Department of
Alpo Gonzales.

This is more than intriguing because the Chief
Executive did not hesitate to run, while pissing
himself, behind the rubber band powered balsa glider known as “Executive
Privilege”.

All the while, Darth Cheney no longer has that option
because he shook his drops on “Executive Privelege” last week to avoid
disclosing how many secrets he’s kept secret. Welcome to the jungle.

“Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside
There behind a glass stands a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along” -Emerson Lake & Palmer

“There’s a sucker born every minute” – P. T. Barnum

Fuckheads. Man I hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

I just now remembered that one day, five or seven
years ago, a friend unknowingly demonstrated that had no idea how to pet a cat. He patted and stroked The Gurry awkwardly, without any
rythm. This, despite the fact that he had two of his own. It
was obvious that the pleasure of the cat was not even
in the periphery of the moment for him.

For reasons unrelated, I now think of this guy as a complete douchebag.

I’ve never been able to write a damn thing in
longhand. The tempo is all wrong. I must have a
keyboard. Plus, I loathe the physical act of writing.
Filling out a check or the return address on an
envelope represents a major pain in the ass to me.
I hate deposit slips.

As a kid I was fascinated by the maginfying effect of
water. I kept all manner of things submerged in
glasses and jars full of water. Rocks, marbles,
cereal box toys, coins……………

I can actually see sounds. What a cool thing it is to
have made records and then listen to them.
“Swallowing colrs of the sounds I hear” -Ozzy

I used to think most people weren’t stupid, they just
failed to pay attention. Now I’m not so sure. I
catch myself not paying attention and I’m not stupid.

The difference between Rosie and Paris is that Rosie
stands for something. It matters not how foolish or wise.
Paris is held aloft by our collective gasp, whether it
be in disgust, dismay or disbelief.

Dick Cheney is the most evil motherfucker to ever SERVE AT THE PLEASURE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. This is because he has never given a mad fuck about a single one of us. I fucking hate him and his little dog Dumbya too.

Sorry. Yay team.

Lewis Black on Stewart just said that a fake news show on Fox should show real news. I love this guy. I love that Stewart won’t let the latest Cheney hubris go. Way to go my little Jack Russel Terrier.

Coors Light has labels that turn white mountains blue when the bottle reaches an acceptable temperature for consumption. Genius.

CNN 360 with Andy C has been rockin the enviromental tip of late. Good for them. Andy himself endeavors to be remembered for never having spake the name of America’s favorite heiress. You gotta love that.

By the way, the last five or seven blogs I’ve posted have all included records I produced, recorded and or mixed in the ‘tell us what you’re listening to’ section. I used to be cool.

My shrink and I have had numerous protracted conversations about social networking via the internet and my level of participation in said. She’s careful to focus on the role it plays in my overall social sphere and she never strays into the pejorative.

It’s days like today that provide the most petite of ephinanies. I understand her emphasis, now that I cannot send or recieve messages on myspace and I want to kill harmless birds with a fork.

I honestly feel a low frequency shittiness right now.

Myspace is a pretty vital communication conduit for me. I interact with a lot of people every day on it. I’ve made good friends, rediscovered old ones and even found hot women to make out with and buy dinner for. I’m somewhere over twenty two thousand hits on my blogs.

It’s like I bit my tongue or pissed myself. It won’t go away.

And oh my, it is indeed darkest before the dawn. The lord taketh away and he giveth. The storm was violent and it did so raineth and bloweth on the land, as to have us believe our demise was imminent. Yet at the last possible moment, when my streets were awash and my infants in danger of being swept away, the clouds did part and the sun did more than showeth.

Seems like my goddamn mail is finally working again.

Takes pistol out of mouth and places it on table pointing away.

Drinks for my friends.

Audacious, ostentatious douchebaggery of the most
egregious kind. It is with quaking awe, in the most
enormous shadow of sociopathic hubris I have yet to
witness, that I bring this to you:

Richard Bruce Cheney has declared the office of Vice
President to be not of the executive branch and
therefore exempt from not only revealing secrets, but
revealing how many secrets they have chosen not to
reveal. This, in direct conflict with an executive
order signed by his puppet boss, Dumbya, in 2003.

“Transparently silly…………….It’s obvious that
the Vice President’s office is part of the executive
branch and to claim otherwise is preposterous”-Steven
Aftergood from The Federation of American Scientists.

“Your position was that your office ‘does not believe
it is included in the definition of ‘agency’ as set
forth in the Order’ and ‘does not consider itself an
‘entity within the executive branch’ that comes into
the possession of classified information,'” a National
Archives official claims Cheney chief of staff David
Addington wrote to him.-rawstory.com

The constitution establishes the office of Vice
President as being part of the executive branch under
article two, section one.

It cracks me the fuck up that so many secrets have
been kept under the notions of executive privilege and
power by this administration and Cheney in particular.

Forgive me, but fuck this fucking miserable fuck. The
second highest office in the executive branch of
American government and this dickhead declares it not
to be of said branch at all because he is president of
the senate as well?

I soooo cannot wait for his evil, black and purple
mass leaking puss like custard organ to detonate like
a rotting pie dropped from a lighting rig onto the
stage of a theater under a cold spotlight. Just who
does this maggot glistening piece of reptile shit
think he is?

Sorry about this, but you have got be fucking kidding
me.

He hid behind executive privilege to keep from you and
I what was talked about in this nation’s energy policy
meetings and even who was there. That’s just one
example of his hiding behind what he now rejects. For
what it’s worth, executive withholding under privilege
is typically only brought to bear by the executive
himself. And gas is near four bucks a gallon while
Exxon, the world’s richest corporation posts profits
that shatter all records.

These guys are good.

Still. Why? You so blatantly violate an executive
order signed by the very man who’s ass you have at
least one of your appendages up and tickling throat at
all times?

Dick has A LOT to hide.

Wierd, but if there’s a fissure, Dumbya doesn’t stand
a chance and he knows it. By now, he owns that he’s
stupid. He may even be starting to recognize the
profound ineptness of the eggheads around him.

Kinda makes you wonder if Dumbya is starting to get a
little sore, even though he’s ridin cowgirl. See, he
thought if he was on top, it wouldn’t hurt .

Dumbass.

Pun intended.

Man I hate these guys.

Drinks for my friends.

So, the no confidence vote on Gonzales went down like
a flaming depleted uranium Zeppelin yesterday in the
Senate.

Big suprise.

Ooooh. The jackass party was able to achieve lockstep
for an action that was completely symbolic. Ahhhh!

Yet with barely a glance from the great unwashed, it’s
eggshell skull was dashed upon the rocks and sensitive
brains were washed away like scrambled embryos. Eggs, I mean.

Most who’s heads were opened in the fray were already inflicted with advanced scoliosis. A few lacked spines entirely but their floating visages were held aloft by the power of knowing that what they chose to do on this day didn’t matter a bit. After all, it was a foregone conclusion and no one was watching.

Paris was back in the pokey!

Their bravery and conviction would make my lips
quiver, if I had a fucking vagina!!

Do I care if Gonzales takes the dirt nap? I realize it doesn’t matter because they’ll just plug in another asshole. They’ll probably end up amputating one prong from whoever the poor bastard is because the neocons are a two prong receptacle. They lack a seperate ground. I digress.

Fuck yes I’d like to see that scheming, hopelessly corrupt, sociopathic, dickless excuse for wearing a suit, spiral into shame and oblivion. Maybe we can trump up some child molestation charges and send him to a state prison in Texas.

Really. Wow. Our legislative branch was not even
able to label the most overt stumblefuck of the
Dick-in-Bush administration a fucktard today. He counts as the most overt one because former superstars like Rumsfeld are gone.

What’s Rummy up to? Growing herbs in a window box and maybe a little model ship building?

“A waste of time”, the elephants of the GOP had to
say.

“Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell chided
Democrats for ‘spending our time on a meaningless
resolution about giving the president advice about who
the attorney general ought to be.’

-from Bloomberg.

It occurs to me that the legislative branch ought get
involved when the blind and ignorant or evil and all knowing executive branch dogmatically and stubbornly supports a complete loser.

I mean, according to his own testimony, Albert with a
0 (that’s a zero kids) can’t remember what his dick looks like. What he
likes in his coffee or if we’re all created equal.

See kids, here’s the deal. Gonzales is the bulkhead protecting Rove and Cheney on this issue. The same way Rumsfeld was on a completely different issue. The same way Libby was. The same way Peter Pace was. Or Powell, Ascroft, DeLay and Wolfowitz. Heard much from Condi lately? Bitch.

I typically write these rants once I’ve worked up a
head of steam, gotten my mad on, if you will. Tonight,
not so much. I’m not suprised and can barely manage
disappointed.

Let me take another run at this.

This guy is a global embarrassment. He’s a fucking
pawn. Everyone, and I mean every one, knows what this
sycophantic automaton is about. And it’s sick, that
this piece of shit gamepiece enjoys the blanket of
neoconservative warmth. That he who is supposed to
embody justice fights so obstinately against it. This
greasy prick showed up with with Andy Card at
Ashcroft’s bedside when he was fighting for his own
worthless life, to twist his arm into allowing our
Aronists Laureate to do whatever the fuck they wanted
to do to you and me.

He doesn’t recall any of it.

Before this bastard was the law of the land he was
chief waterboy at the pissing end of Dick-in-Bush. As
White House Counsel he wrote that which he is now in
charge of defending at the pleasure of Dumbya.

This is all disturbing and profoundly disgusting on a day when Paris Hilton commands more attention than any of what I’m
pontificating about. It makes me sure that at least
in some way, we deserve it.

We do actually. We’ve allowed a scenario where our
very own elected representatives are more beholdin’ to a single
party and its jingoistic disease of dogma than the constituents at who’s pleasure they’re supposed to serve. Pricks.

Just like our military, our congress, our executives, our values, our morals, our ethics, just like all of them, our judiciary and the office of Attorney General of the United States is rent asunder. Scorched, perhaps irreparably.

Bobby Kennedy held that office and it may have cost him his life.

If that wasn’t the beginning of the end I don’t know what was.

Everyone besides Dick-in-Bush understands that this
pooch is screwed. Gangraped, from hell to
breakfast. Nine ways to Sunday. It’s over. We broke
it. Possession is ours.

Our fault.

Drinks for my friends.

Who honestly gives a mad fuck? 45 days or 21 or whatever, in jail.

Not, where the rest of us would do time,
but in a completely safe, isolated venue. Not in
any danger from violent inmates. No chance of getting
shanked with a shiv by an angry crack whore in gen-pop. No possibility of a furious acne scarred dyke with manly biceps and a pompadour forcing your delicate beak into her lesion festooned, puss oozing anal cleft……

Take my advice Miss Hilton. Read some books and focus on being more altruistic. Rescue some goddamn kittens. Bitch. Do your three weeks and endeavor to make it a positive experience. Try yoga.

This is precisely what’s wrong with us. That we care at all is absurd. It really disturbs me that people are rapt because although she is not all of us, she is a few of us, and at least a part of the rest of us aspire to be that.

Then there are those who belong to the same group as me. As long as she’s not subject to water boarding or any other US government approved interrogation method, I just can’t be bothered to afford a mad fuck.

I’m completely unconcerned if judge Sauer went beyond his authority with a harsh sentence that he insisted upon or whether Lee Bocca catered and pampered a celebrity who’s biggest claim to fame is smoking pole in front of a goddamn video camera.

I care that our legislative branch just demonstrated that they are incapable of crafting, much less enacting, a sensible immigration policy.

I care that someone else’s idea of God won’t get the fuck out of my politics. Did you see the Republican debates? Jesus fucking Christ. We may not elect a woman because she’s female. We may not elect a black man because he’s a nigger; at least according to the ignorant among us. But a Mormon who wears and believes in magical underwear has a real shot.

I honestly can’t wait for a gay candidate, that potential commander in chief has my vote automatically if only for the chaos that would ensue. That, would get my attention.

How many died in Iraq today?

Dumbya landed in Italy today where agents of our government are on trial for kidnapping people and sending them to be tortured. I care about this.

Ms. Hilton, there is a profound difference between people who’ve had their asses handed to them by the circumstances life is wont to visit upon us, and those who haven’t. I’ve gotten good at smelling that difference. Inevitably I favor those who’ve been there. Adversity is often good. My advice to you is to deal with it.

Honestly Ms. Hilton, were you smeared into a red stain tommorrow by a speeding bus, I’d only lament what you could have done. What someone born into your station in life should have done. Google Bill Gates, Bono or Jimmy Carter and realize that none of them were born in a position to affect change like you.

“Welcome to the jungle
We got fun ‘n’ games
We got everything you want
Honey we know the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money honey
We got your disease”

Drinks for my friends.

Disclaimer: Forgive me. I thought the debates last night warranted more of my air chomping pontification. I hope you can still breath by the time I’m done. Those with compromised mental lung capacity are encouraged to abstain.

What Biden glossed over with his pedantic soliloquy about not having enough votes to end the war in the Senate, was exactly what Edwards was talking about. Edwards was talking to both Hillary and Barack. They both voted nay, but snuck in and out to do so. They hid their convictions as best they could. Biden complained about having only 50 votes, as opposed to the 67 needed to purchase the veto proof vest.

So? Really, so fucking what? I expect there to be fifty votes in opposition. If the absolute most you can hope to accomplish is to remind them that they, even with Lieberman, don’t have a majority either, then for fuck’s sake do it. That is what we asked for, literally, in the last election.

And then, they veto it. Dick-in-Bush. The Blackhats.

What I’m looking for now is a whole bunch of you bastards, especially the democrats, to resubmit the same bill or as close as you can get to it, over and over and over. Ad goddamn nauseum.

Help me out here, is that too much to ask?

Newsflash you spineless pricks, the majority in this country will not accuse you of undermining our troops. As Kucinich pointed out, there’s enough money in the pipeline to get them home. The ones that would point that finger are just plain stupid. You can’t help them and you won’t reach them. They are those that would embrace Nixon, they dwell in the hydrilla.

Now I know that the lot of you, being politicians, are shameless harlots, so here’s your chance to suck up to THE MAJORITY. Democrats aren’t used to this and they are as a group, usually pretty shy. Well, what they are, are sniveling whiny cowards. Petunias all.

So you caved. Wilted. Pissed yourselves and darted away with the look of stupid eyed pigeons. 10 out of 50 democrats in the Senate had enough sack to do the right thing.

I still like Biden. I still like them all. But Edward’s point was both germane and salient. We now have a chance, for the first time in seven cold years, to swing a hard hook to the head of Dick-in-Bush and there’s no reason we shouldn’t. We are right. They are wrong. And they’ve made it obvious.

Instead our esteemed and newly elected body politic gets held down by a few bullies, is forced into a tutu, smeared with lipstick and pisses itself before entering the cafeteria to cast it’s vote.

If some greater number of you don’t start to own your own souls, we’re gonna end up with a new Puppet Mayor Arsonist Laureate.

Is Richardson wearing a toupe’?

Drinks for my vertebrates.

“Got one foot out the door
Time to hit the road
Ain’t no match for your mean ol’ man
I think it’s time to roll”-Van Halen

Is Richardson sporting a toop?

I liked Biden’s anger and conviction on Darfur.

The tone was actually good. The issues were appropriate.

It was, dare I say, somewhat informative. Gasp!

Understand, this is my sports. Beyond my altruistic and civic concerns, there exists a prurient interest as well. I like that Edwards came out swinging.

Obama and Clinton were of stately composure. Neither looking to pick a fight. Both, willing and able to trade punches.

Kucinich did well. He’s catching a little fire. He rocked the convention yesterday. Did you see his wife? The fact that she needs to lean down to talk to him makes him just a little cooler in my book. Underdog. Yet, a mouse that is roaring. I like this man.

I understand she has a tongue ring. Sheezus. Everyone from Martha and Joe Bob to Nathaniel and Felicity are gonna have serious reservations about a First Lady with a hole in her tongue and an ornament hanging out of it.

Thus far this pale little soup smelling vegetarian has my vote. He looks the least presidential but he has gargantuan balls. There’s a fine line between clever and stupid. A narrower swath than you would imagine between courage and idiocy.

This man is very brave and very smart.

I’m watching CNN on a Tivo delay so I just heard some asshole who used to work for Romney and McCain say Kucinich is completely irrelevant.

Look, I understand it’s early and I understand that my horse is looking like a gelding among a handful of very fast stallions. But this man is the real deal. He’s the only one to speak truth to power. He says impeach Cheney, pull the troops now, he calls out the big insurance and pharma lobbies on health care, his voting record is proof of a man with the courage of his convictions.

The best I can realistically hope for is that he gains some ground as America wakes up and therefore, a little more mass. Just enough to hang in there for awhile, enough to steer the national dialog.

Either way, he has my vote. I’m so fucking done with the lesser of two evils. Fuck pragmatic in the neck. I think it’s time to stretch. This hasn’t been good enough for a long time.

Despite the idea of Mr Kucinich winning the nomination being akin to betting an infant won’t fill it’s britches with mustard colored shit, He can and should be a pivot in this process.

Speaking of shit, he and his people will require lungs that can refine it into oxygen. They are going to have to positively brawl to keep this spunky little bastard relevant. To do that, they’ll all need to embrace the big picture. He will not get the nomination. And he will not be invited to be a running mate. But he still may be the most important horse in this race.

He is the only one not politicking. The only one not fucking around. The only one saying exactly what he thinks and intends to do if given the chance. He pledges to go after NAFTA and the WTO. He’ll end the war and impliment a truly green energy policy.

This man is not here to fuck around.

Neither am I. Absent some clusterfuck involving his integrity, Dennis Kucinich has my vote.

Please pay attention.

Drinks for my friends.