Archive for September, 2008

Just like Doubtfire, economics is not my strong suit. I took macro and micro in college, over twenty years ago. I bought and sold a house that earned me a profit. Kinda. I can do math in my head. Kinda.

Ironically, in recent months I’ve become a banker, monkey suit and all. Not a real banker, but I sell credit, money. Most of my work is from home surrounded by empty containers of every kind. Gin bottles and ketchup packets, candy wrappers and Lysol dispensers. Fast food wrappers and plastic bags from Rite Aid.

I don the gorilla costume to actually show up at the bank and close deals I’ve solicited. Haven’t made shit yet, but I like my job.

Anyway, this bailout was a shitty bill, yet the stock market reacted disastrously when it didn’t pass. It cost American industry over a trillion dollars in one day. That’s a figure neither you or I have the capacity to even imagine.

The most humongous one day free fall in the history of the NYSE. Just last week we saw WaMu take the dirt nap. The largest bank in the history of the world to fail.

It’s gettin ugly up in here.

For once I agree with Ben Stein, he posits that the ideal would be a bill that extinguishes the fire from the bottom to the top. A bill that would allow for assistance to the homeowners and therefore trickle up if you will, to strengthen the lending institutions and banks on the verge of collapse. I’m a populist, so I tend to cast a favorable eye on an idea like that. The rich have made their money, the middle class are getting shithammered. The poor are more fucked than ever.

For you ingnorant fucks, ‘populist’ is code for socialist or even communist.

I also agree with Stein and Paul Krugman that something has to be done and fast. Credit must flow in ways you and I don’t understand. This is a financial conflagration that must have high pressure hoses trained on it right away.

Yes, it’s the fat bastards that are on fire, it’s weird how their outer layer pops and sizzles like bacon. I hate the smell of their hairy backs burning. Unfortunately, they still have the keys to the universe for most of us. Pricks. No matter what, it’s gonna suck, so we need to get started.

It’s ok they were allowed to burn for a few.

Put the fire out and hang the rich later.

I’m really not interested in who said what and why it didn’t pass. Pelosi chastised the dickheads and their panties ended up in a bundle. That makes them pussies. It’s awfully nice to see John Boehner get spanked by his own party though. I hate that guy. High comedy. Excellent drama.

Maybe just this once, partisan politics will lead to better legislation. Maybe. I hate to say it, but I’m of the opinion that congress needs to pass something and Dumbya needs to sign it. Sooner rather than later.

By the way, have you seen Dumbya lately? Looks like he’s been on the recieving end of a few too many blanket parties. I bet he’s drinking again and I don’t blame him. He’s the biggest fuck up in the entire world. He’ll end his days in a comfortable chair stinking of beer and cigarettes. In an upscale Texas trailer park. A doublewide with a paved carport at least. The high point of his day will be Jerry Springer and watering the dry patches out back. Around seven he’ll switch from beer to whiskey. His neighbors will like him and he’ll hang lights for Christmas until he falls in the kitchen and breaks his hip. He’ll stop beating Laura.

Forgive me.

What will be interesting, is the Vice Presidential debate on Thursday, the same day Congress returns after holiday. Palin vs. Biden. I like Joe Biden but it will be the blowhard against the moose in headlights.

What’s up with the old man showing up to hold Whats Her Name’s hand for round two with Katie? Pitiful. Sheezus. He doesn’t trust her and she doesn’t know shit.

So much for suspending your campaign and postponing the debate until the crisis has been averted, huh Doubtfire? Go home and ride the mower dude.

“He [Dumbya] tried to ruin the country in his first term, now he’s trying to ruin the world in his second term. Let’s not give him [McCain] a third term”. -Paul ‘high functioning moron’ Begala

“We may all be killed” -Paul, Blue Velvet

Drinks for my friends.

From last Friday evening until the day ballots are cast across this country on November four, people en masse have finally begun to search their hearts and their minds.

The Presidential campaign has commenced.

The majority of Americans who actually intend to vote have begun to wake up in the morning and think about it, have lunch and devote a few minutes of thought to it, or go home and discuss it with their significant other, as of Friday night.

They’ve also begun to consume mainstream media without discrimination and with more appetite than we’ve seen in a while. I’m alarmed by this but at least they’re curious.

The first debate. A Clash of Titans.

Campaign season officially and unoffiicially started September Twenty Six, the day of the first confrontation.

There was record viewership of the conventions, but it really begins with the first debate. I’ve been watching this thing and writing about it for two years. If you’re at all like me, you understand where I’m going with this. We are consistent in our responsibility to pay attention. We have tracked and monitored candidates from all parties and given no quarter to those who run off the rails.

Here comes the great unwashed.

I nailed The Pantsuit over and over with one of those guns that actually shoot nails. Very cool invention.

Optimistically and with unfounded enthusiasm I supported Kucinich. I knew he wouldn’t last but I wanted him to get as far as his little heart could. A bright and honest man. The Little Paste Eater. Then it was Edwards because of his sincere populist message. He championed the poor. Another good and bright man, this time with an assload of charisma. Oh well.

He turned out to be a dick, not for what he did, but for what he didn’t do. Honesty. He even lied to himself.

I’ve always liked Obama, but having been the poster child for unrealistic expectations in past elections, you can perhaps understand my reluctance. A black man named Barack Hussein Obama. Forgive me, but a name like that at a time like this?

I wrote with conviction a year and a half ago that this man although gifted, had not a hope in hell. That was my belief.

What happened next was extraordinary. It was an all star season at the DNC. He not only prevailed over a field of excellent candidates, he went toe to toe with the Clinton Juggernaut and handed them their ass on a bone china platter garnished with new potatos and parsley. Awesome. Don’t you dare question his balls.

Whipping the Clintons, when Hills would NOT let go, is a bigger feat for a Democrat, a more formidable task for an African American male Democrat, than for anyone of the Republican hopefuls. It bears pointing out that they were all losers. McCain did turn out to be the best they had. Sheezus.

If after the debate, you were disappointed by the lack of punches thrown, I understand. But you need to know that we have a man that is smarter than us again. Elitist. Bigots and racists say uppity. More intelligent. He’s roughly my age but he’s so much smarter. He knows what he’s doing.

He could be really good you know. The best choice you have ever been afforded unless you are old enough to have voted for JFK or RFK. If you voted for either of them, you’re probably with me here.

Time to pay attention. 9/11 happened on this watch. This economic venting of radiation and the subsequent meltdown, predicted and predictable. Happening on this watch. Same watch. These guys suck. They’re fucking clowns. This is blind, shithouse absurd.

I didn’t realize it but there’s a part two of Couric’s interview of Palin tomorrow night. Oh boy. It is sad indeed that in the same election a woman sought and almost secured her party’s nomination for President, another woman comes along as a running mate for the other party. Actually, there’s nothing unfortunate about that at all. What is damn near heart rending is that the former was an intelligent capable woman with experience and the latter can best be sketched with one word. Bimbo.

You know what? Republicans are idiots.

And here’s another big deal. The surface and the subterranean, the face and the bone and muscle beneath this electorate are far different than anything we have ever seen in a national election. How many turn out and who they are, is and will be a wildcard of historic proportion. The youth vote. The previously disenfranchised who are now pissed, the cell phone generation. The cultural groundswell. SNL has parodied, brutally, the McCain campaign in one way or anther for the last three weeks. See, no current model takes this data into account.

It’s a wild ass card and it could be huge.

I have a crack team of analysts on the case. We’ll get back to you on this.

Drinks for my friends

Friday, September 26, 2008 – 11:26 AM
The Bailout
The other day I received an e-mail from my uncle asking for my thoughts on the economic crisis and the proposed bailout. Below is his e-mail followed by my response.

———

Josh,

Maybe you can help me. I am trying to apply an aging physicist brain to the current economic situation and I could use some help.

Admitted bias upfront, I tend to see things more positively by reflex.

Premise 1
Inflation is caused by an increase in the “money supply” without a corresponding increase in goods and services causing more money to chase the unchanged supply of goods thereby increasing the price.

Premise 2
The value of “bad” mortgages was part of the “money supply” when the mortgages were good
and therefore marketable. Now that the mortgages are “bad” and unsellable they are no longer
part of the “money supply”, or have radically decreased in value, thus the “money supply” has decreased as a result.

Question 1
If the government prints money to e. g. buy the illiquid mortgages, (for less than 100 cents on the $)is it not just replacing the money which the illiquidity of the mortgages removed, and thus is “neutral” effect on the “money supply”?

Premise 3
The root of the problem is the decline in housing prices which “removes” wealth from the system,
and is thus “deflationary”.

Question 2
Does not the effect of Premise 3 give the treasury room to “print money” to balance it without
increasing the overall money supply and thus being neutral on the inflation front.

Sincerely wanting to understand,

Unc

P.S. Henry Paulson is: A. a socialist B. an idiot C. Someone whose career evidences a solid understanding of the system, and who is a believer in “capitalism”. D. Other (Please specify)

———-

Hey Unc,

I’ve had a chance to think about your questions, and while I don’t have any conclusive answers, I do have some thoughts that might help flesh out the picture a bit.

For starters, I will observe that your premises/conclusions are based on an oversimplification that is typical of most mainstream discussion of economics – i.e. considering economic phenomena in terms of broad homogeneous categories rather than as aggregations of an infinitude of discrete and varied elements. For example, when the government measures GDP, no distinction is made between a dollar spent on a TV-set and a dollar spent on education, although obviously their effects on the economy are very different. Of course, we have to lump together many disparate things in order to measure them, but the fact remains that according to this type of analysis, we could redirect every dollar currently spent on education to providing children with cigarettes, and the economy would be just as “healthy” in terms of GDP.

The point is not to argue against using the standard tools of macroeconomic analysis. Obviously it would be impossible to quantify the consequences of every individual transaction in an economy, and we must resort to abstract techniques if we want to be able to measure anything at all, but we must also avoid falling into the trap of mistaking man-made concepts like “GDP” and “money supply” for the actual economy.

So, when we talk about the “money supply”, what we are really talking about is an infinitely varied collection of instruments which have potential purchasing power. A dollar hidden under the mattress of a miser does not impact the economy in the same way as a dollar in the hands of a drunk at a blackjack table, but from the point of view of a monolithic concept like “money supply”, the two are indistinguishable. And, while we are all familiar with the big-picture monetary hazards called “inflation” and “deflation”, in actuality what is harmful is monetary instability in general. In fact, the very worst monetary scenario is “stagflation” in which aspects of inflation and deflation occur simultaneously. [For a more detailed discussion of money and the consequences of monetary instability, see my article entitled “American Economy: The Veil of Money”.]

So, while it is conceivable that the government could exactly offset the amount of money that has been wiped out by the credit crunch and thereby leave the “money supply” unchanged, this doesn’t mean that the result wouldn’t still be catastrophic. For example, the fact that the government is creating money by buying bad debts from banks is of little consolation to the family that is losing its home.

Another way of thinking about the economy is by way of metaphor. I like to think of the role of money in an economy as analogous to that of blood in a physical organism. Blood flows in different ways throughout all parts of an organism, and the overall health of the organism is dependent not only on the quantity of blood but also on it flowing properly. Maladies occur whenever the flow is too fast or too slow or impeded or misdirected. This metaphor is useful for addressing your question about why the government can’t just print an equivalent amount of money to the amount that has been destroyed in order to achieve a neutral effect on the economy. It would be as if we took a trauma patient who has lost a lot of blood and gave him a massive transfusion without knowing his blood type (although, whereas a random blood transfusion might end up working just based on blind luck, in the case of the economy, since there is an infinite number of “blood types”, a random transfusion cannot possibly work).

Another metaphor that I like to use when thinking about the role of money in an economy is to visualize a fertile river valley in the middle of a desert. The volume of water in the river determines how far in either direction crops will grow. So, for example, while in a drought year crops might only grow right next to the river, in a year with abundant rainfall the margin of cultivation will lie at a greater distance from the river. Now, let’s imagine that the flow of water is suddenly increased by artificial means. This will allow crops to be grown over a larger area of land than usual for as long as the artificially large flow is continued, but as soon as the unsustainable flow is interrupted, all of the crops that ordinarily would never have sprung up in the first place will wither and die.

I would liken the monetary policies of Alan Greenspan to the artificially high river. Rather than allow the boom & bust of the dot.com bubble to run its course, Greenspan turned the spigots wide open and let the river flow at an abnormally high rate that averted short-term pain but assured much greater destruction later on. All you have to do to see this with your own eyes is to take an airplane flight into Las Vegas (or Phoenix, or Miami, or Los Angeles…) and look at the massive number of housing developments in various stages of completion around the margins of the city. These developments are the equivalent of the crops that under normal circumstances never would have sprung up in the first place. As a result of artificially abundant money all of this excess housing stock has come into existence and must now be reckoned with before we can get the economy back on a sound footing. And simply printing money will not remedy the fact that the economic organism developed along unsustainable lines.

All of that being said, I am not arguing against the use of fiscal and monetary policy to deal with the current crisis. I am just not optimistic about our chances of success. I believe we will be unable to avert a crisis for two reasons.

First, to use yet another metaphor, imagine that the job of the financial authorities is to steer a ship through a winding channel. One side of the channel represents unemployment and economic stagnation, while the other side represents inflation and “irrational exuberance” (to borrow a Greenspan-ism). Under ordinary circumstances it is a difficult but manageable task to keep the ship safely within the channel and not to err too badly in either direction. However, the steering mechanism of the ship is highly imprecise and cumbersome. Much like steering an actual ship, you must always be thinking ahead and compensating before your errors become evident. If you fail to stay ahead of the curve, you have to resort to increasingly risky maneuvers in order to avoid harmful divergences, and each of these risky measures makes the next maneuver that much more difficult to execute safely until a point is reached at which there is no way to avoid a painful crack-up.

I would argue that this is the position that Bernanke and Paulson find themselves in right now. They are steering a ship that is careening wildly in an ever narrower channel. The truth is that most of the blame for the current situation lies not with Bernanke or Paulson but with their predecessors. Bernanke and Paulson could be the most intelligent, upright people in the world and still fail to avoid a collapse. Personally I don’t have a strong opinion one way or the other as to the abilities or integrity of either one, although I think it is worrisome that Paulson is one of the people who profited most from the abuses which caused the crisis in the first place. Putting Paulson in charge of the bailout is like a bank hiring the best safe-cracker to run its security department. He might in fact be the best guy for the job, but you have to question his motives, and with the kind of absolute, non-reviewable power the current plan seeks to give him, I wouldn’t take it for granted that he’ll do what is in the best interests of the average American.

Add to all of this the fact that we are in the middle of a presidential election (which means that most parties in Washington are just as concerned with their own political futures as they are with the state of the economy), and I just don’t see much cause to be hopeful that they will be able to thread the needle and come up with just the right set of solutions to avoid a painful and protracted crisis.

“George Bush fucked up so bad he made it hard for a white man to run for President” -Chris Rock

McCain’s tie sucked but his knot was way better than Our Man’s. Our Man’s tie was far superior. We now know he has a better informed sense of the sartorial.

At approximately forty minutes in, Our Man is cleaning geriatric clock. Doubtfire lands a few haymakers but this thing is pivoting on body shots.

Not a bad game. Good fight. Sugar Ray Leonard vs. Roberto Duran circa 1980 in New Orleans. Doubtfire stops short of “No Mas”. Our Man is a boxer, an athletic technician. Stiff jabs and quick blows to the torso. The pasty little bastard is nothing if not a brawler. Smart to box this first round, as silly as it sounds, Obama realizes he’s still introducing himself this night to a shitload of white people.

I bet he punches a little harder come round two. I read somewhere today that boxing terminology is the accepted brand for political commentary. So be it.

In business, in life, in friendship, the most important question is what have you done for me lately (?). Doubtfire dwells in the past. He ducks, bobs and weaves with enough skill to avoid looking like an advanced alzheimers victim. Too much of it was not inspired or even novel. Instead it was boiler plate, stump speech bullshit. There was the “Miss Congeniality” thing for example. Evidence of an inability to think on his feet. Sad.

To his credit, he swung what he had. Hard.

So he can dance. With the exception of a few flurries and some jabs that looked good but didn’t sting, McCain performed like a man with old lungs, old legs and an aged intellect.

Our Man floats above the discourse. He dips down by necessity, and as he does so, he’s elegant, eloquent and Presidential. His cool charisma is in in stark contrast and a welcome respite from Doubtfire’s snide, and patronizing vitriol. There’s not much worse than a man attempting to engage in patronage when he has no reason or right to even try.

There are moments where I honestly anticipated his nearly translucent head exploding off his body in violent lift off like a Saturn Five rocket coming off the pad.

Here’s what’s interesting. I endeavor to abstain from bias or ideology. Simultaneously, I understand I can’t hope to honestly embrace the idea entirely. I do my best. Despite my efforts, McCain looked a fool to me. He was empty, clumsy and consistently off point. I was a little embarrassed for him.

I could plow the field for issues, dig up the substance, but if you’re a regular reader, you already know where I stand and who I agree with. Suffice it to say, Our Man was specific and clear and I agreed with most of it.

What will they say about this debate? I’m sure it will be crap. Irresponsible, despite low expectations for McCain. They will render it stupider than it was because of their own inherent chasm of misunderstanding. An inability to recognize or even look for the right things.

Somebody help with the idea that contests so important don’t have to end up as a carnival competition. This is serious business. The wrong guy could doom humans as a species. I guess people don’t understand that. If McCain is elected, there’s a far better than fifty percent chance that Sarah Palin will end up as President.

There’s a one hundred percent chance the world will be right about just how stupid we are.

Given her recent performances, limited though they be, this simply cannot come to pass. Think about it. Hard. See what I’m saying?

Let me be clear here. I want you all to understand exactly what I mean. No innuendo. No metaphor.

It’s unlikely either candidate changed any already decided minds in this venue, but McCain was obvious as the man he is. Rigid, ill-tempered, the polar opposite of affable and perpetually on the verge of a tantrum. He was unable to even look at Obama. Our Man was in complete control. Restrained even. Presidential. I was proud.

Jim Lehrer from PBS, did a bang up job, even exhorting the two to look at each other and answer. Doubtfire never did and Obama did effortlessly.

I was sad and disgusted to see Doubtfire close with the P.O.W. shuffle. Pathetic.

You see he hired his nurse to be his Vice President too -Chris Rock

Round one, Obama.

Drinks for my friends.

Paul Begala said it of Dumbya about his speech last night and whether there was any resonance. I fell off the couch howling.

He was saying that no one cared. I had to watch the speech in pieces. A yawner. I kept thinking about how close together his eyes are.

The full twelve minutes was empty of anything save for common knowledge and the mashing, over and over, of the fear button. The red one that makes bells ring. He really should just stay out of this. He wields zero influence and has long since squandered any credibility, particularly in matters financial.

A high functioning moron.

And did ya see McCain’s broad with Katie Couric today? You have got to be fucking kidding me. I’m comfortable calling her a broad because she shoots magnificent defensless mammals but ducks the press. This broad is dangerously clueless.

I really hope Doubtfire takes a powder tomorrow night in Mississippi. What a tool.

Washington Mutual took the dirt nap today. Biggest S&L in the country and the largest bank in the history of the world to ever collapse. JP Morgan bought all the juicy debt. I think we got stuck with the rest.

It’s surreal, as it gets better, as in more entertaining, it gets worse, in terms of consequences.

A materialization of the perfect storm. The tempest without flaw that I’ve been predicting for years. There is no joy in being right about this one. It’s stupid and disgusting.

The blame here rests as much on John Q. Public’s shoulders as it does on any head of state, titular or not. We allowed this. We encouraged it with our ignorance, apathy, laziness and cowardice. We are fools on this ship already compromised of buoyancy by failed leadership. Despite the obviating of the inevitable. As we speak, this vessel of American prosperity and potential heads full steam towards the mother of all icebergs.

Good job. We should all take a bow. Yes, especially the stupid ones. Couldn’t have done it without them.

Know what alarms me the most about the whole thing? We don’t have the money. It’s preposterous. We are so broke we can’t pay respect. They say seven hundred billion but we’re borrowing ten billion a month for Iraq.

Guess what passed yesterday? A defense spending bill for over six hundred billion. Understand that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are not accounted for in that bill.

Start thinking about who you can blow and/or people with extra rooms. Prioritize things like clotheslines, wells and land enough for crops. Don’t worry about propane camp stoves, but a tent, sleeping bags and firearms are all smart purchases. Don’t forget the bullets!

I’m not here to dip your popsicle in dog hair but you need to be on top of this. This shit is realtime. Many of them are shrugging their shoulders with the attitude that it’s one last ass rape before they walk away. They. Don’t. Care. Think Doubtfire does? I don’t. He’s taking an unsanctioned time out. Tried to cover himself by putting Palin out in front today. No luck to be had there. She hit her mouth on the way down.

High comedy.

Both of them made of paper. One born that way, the other worn down to it. Empty shells. Empty suits. A future of mere mediocrity awaits both, regardless of how the election lands.

Barack Hussein Obama will not save us. He will not deliver us from evil. Yet I have every reason to believe that it is within his power to change the direction of this country. That is what I expect. It is why I will vote for him. I must tell you that my optimism is heavily mitigated by my fondness for the truth in the form of absolutes.

There is honesty and lies in almost everything. Black and white, cut and dried is still available, but rare. I respect the gray but seek and heed the black and white. Absolutes.

Here is absolutely the most honest and truthfull thing I can say to you. Barack Obama is your best bet. He is your only bet. Nader and Ron Paul have ceased to matter. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You don’t want to put your money on the other side. Even if you win, you’ll be very, very sorry.

He’s not here to come into your livingroom, solve your problems and go next door to solve theirs. Anyone who claims to do that is a liar. I’m hoping he can swing enough lumber to restore some fairness for Americans despite race or class. I don’t know he’ll do this but I think he can.

I do expect him to get busy on this pointless war.

Drinks for my friends.

My epiphany smacks of *gasp*, socialism and radicalism.

It’s pretty out there. As a concept, I mean.

Here we go.

Why not implore, nay, beseech those who have benifitted so lavishly from America’s free market economy to pony up some filthy fucking lucre? Why not? Tell me that the collective benificiaries of golden parachutes, exorbitant severance packages and stock options et al. aren’t clutching bags and satchels of liquid capital that could go a long way towards remedying this consummate financial malaise.

Tell me. Why not?

Sumner Redstone, Rupert Murdoch, Bill Gates and all their kooky country club cronies. Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Don Henley and Garth Brooks. Mel Gibson, George Clooney, Matt Damon and Jay Leno. Hannity, Limbuagh and Olbermann. Stwart, Colbert and that guy in the Mac commercials. Letterman.

Lotsa these guys are already philanthropic. Together, our overpaid celebrities, athletes and CEO’s could go a long way towards solving this. That is of course, if they are true patriotic Americans.

All of the aforementioned and thousands of others are going to be just fine regardless of the way the bail out is structured or who wins this election. Little, if not nothing, to lose.

What say you elites?

I mean to say, if you care at all about the normal workaday citizens who put all that money in your pockets in the first place.

After all, the dramatic shift in the concentration of wealth is at the root here, a phenomena as culpable as any impropriety or outright fuckery. It was unsustainable. No way was it gonna fly for very long at all. Many of you have been on the tit for way too long.

Most of you.

Put that chunk of their wealth into a fund for the people. An institution created for the sole purpose of helping average Americans to keep a roof over their heads and maintain the ability to feed and clothe their children. It’s not socialism if it’s not a government mandate. It’s profoundly American if they choose to share their good fortune and give back to a society that has made their success possible in a world that otherwise may have excluded them.

Not subversive in any way, as long as the institutions recieve not a single red penny. Could be a complex bureaucracy, but not if you let me run it. Trust me to rock that shit.

By the way, Doubtfire put his giant vagina in full view today after recieving a phone call from Our Man seeking cooperation for a joint statement this morning. In a shallow attempt at one-upmanship, McCain announced this afternoon his intention to suspend his campaign to devote his limited energies towards the economic crisis. He also requested tomorrow night’s debate be postponed.

Fumble.

Look at my thumb. Gee, you’re dumb.

A blatant and obvious attempt by a man losing serious ground, to wrest attention away from his atrophy by waving a needle full of politics, Presidential politics, at the most serious financial issue America has faced since the Great Depression. John McCain is a cowardly, opportunistic douchebag.

In all seriousness and with all due respect, the harbinger is no longer that. Doom is in the front yard. We are here. The wolf is just outside the door. We can neither come or go. Understand that homeless people will no longer be an exclusive fixture of metropolitan areas. We are flirting with soup kitchens and tent cities are already a burgeoning reality. People are about to suffer in ways most of of us have never witnessed. This is bad.

It bears pointing out that before Dick-in-Bush usurped power, we had an actual surplus and things were no less than rosy. I remind you of the painfully obvious, the entire state of the union is completely fucked. My uncles proud men all, Republicans all, must answer the question. They owe me a reasoned explanation as to how and why they intend to give these idiots one more chance.

An alcoholic has stolen from your wallet, your wife’s purse, set the house on fire and provided illegal drugs to your children. Do you still open your arms to him for Sunday dinner? Loan him twenty bucks?

Maybe you do because he’s family. You certainly don’t hand him the keys to your car, much less the goddamn universe.

You know what? America, a once proud, prosperous and generous nation is on the verge of collapse. Chaos. Lawlessness. You think Iraqis went full tilt boogie once the rule of law was removed? Wait ’til you see Americans in action when there’s no gas, no food, no infrastructure and no rule of law. What happened in New Orleans will be a microcosm and will look Fisher fucking Price in retrospect.

Dumbya swore as late as March and McCain as late as last week that the fundamentals of the American economy are sound. For any of you who still buy that, good luck. You’ll soon be on your own.

No matter what, this will be ugly. Vulgar even. No miracles, unless the fruit of my epiphany somehow busts forth with a froth of delicious and copious juice. We all understand how unlikely that is. We are fucked. It’s important to remember who fucked you.

All that remains is to choose the right man to captain our ship through violent seas. McCain has never steered a ship and he’s crashed at least four planes.

Drinks for my friends.

Cone of silence.

This is asinine.

Sarah Palin in New York meeting with world luminaries, glistening and tarnished. I can’t believe this crap. At first, the McCain campaign (Insane in the Membrane), insisted no reporters be allowed to accompany the cameras. When the networks balked, they relented, but any questions or participation were strictly forbidden.

They’re so afraid she’ll spell potato with an ‘E’.

Not only is it insulting and unprecedented, it’s quite possibly sexist.

Since when is the press prevented from asking a single question of a candidate who would be President in a matter of months?

How can anyone possibly trust this ticket, much less it’s choice for Assistant Manager?

Now we learn that she allowed for a twenty four million dollar road to be built to the bridge to nowhere that was never built. It’s literally a dead end. A sign at the beginning says “No Outlet”. I understand the contract for the road was signed before What’s Her Name took office. Despite that, it’s enormously difficult to believe that a sitting Governor could not prevent the construction of a twenty four million dollar road that would serve no purpose whatsoever.

There’s even a paid employee to collect tolls on the road to abruptness. A road no one uses because it terminates at no actual destination.

How does three miles of asphalt cost twenty four million?

What did she do with the other couple hundred million?

Sheezus.

I am so sick of watching what was once the largesse of America’s middle class being squandered to increase the larders of those who don’t need it or deserve it. Again, to be fair, Democrats are nearly as guilty as their counterparts.

“ANCHORAGE, Alaska (CNN) — The legislative investigation into Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s firing of her public safety commissioner needs to go ahead despite the increasingly heated opposition of the McCain-Palin campaign, a leading Republican said Tuesday.

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is being investigated for the possibly improper firing of a state official.

Since becoming the Republican vice presidential candidate in August, Palin has halted her previously promised cooperation with the Legislature’s investigation of the July dismissal of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan.”

Yeah, I just puked in my mouth a little.

I said before, can’t see her when she turns sideways because she’s two dimensional.

It’s interesting. Tonight I was talking to a very close, old friend on the phone. You bond when you make records together.

Anyway, we arrived at what is perhaps the most important difference between Republicans and Democrats. Harry Reid, US Senate Majority Leader and a family friend; his first bid for the Senate was my first campaign. I was nine. He’s really disappointed and pissed me off since he became Majority Leader. My friend mentioned Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, and shared similiar disdain. We were in agreement.

Even our own cross lines we’re not comfortable with. They screw the pooch and they know it. We let them know.

Therein lies the rub. Republicans march in identical boots. They are far less likely to objectively evaluate legitimate criticism and even less able to actually oppose anyone belonging to the party. It’s infantile. Handicapped. Irresponsibly unconditional. Whores on crack.

The very foundation of their entire belief system is built with bricks of compliance, obedience and and a brand of piety as mortar that is potent and toxic and very strong.

Hardcore Republican Bible abusers are America’s biggest cult. The world’s most notorious and effective terrorists.

Fuck me, I just called religous folks terrorists.

But, um, yeah. Catholic vs. Protestant. Christian vs. Muslim. All of them against gays and half of them not affording women equality. It’s gone on for far too long.

The shit we get away with in the name of Christianity is astounding. The term Bible is intended more generically here. I’m talking about it’s ubiquity. Any religion that views a single tome as it’s covenant to judge and chastise the world because the bible tells them so is goddamn foolish. Fucked in the head.

Forgive the tangent but at least it’s germane. I’m thinking it’s time for a new nickname. Sarah The Pagan? A Pentecostal for thirty four of her first thirty eight years. I don’t claim to understand this particular theological bent but I know enough to tell you it can get pretty weird. They speak in tongues.

Pundits have been saying for weeks that we need to stop paying so much attention. She’s not worth it. She’s a distraction. That’s all true. Until today. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as of today, she is meat. She’s been the GOP VP nominee for how many weeks now and she still hasn’t answered a single question?

Rick Plank says: Fuck that shit.

There was one interview. Charlie Gibson looking professorial and Ben Franklinesque. Pretty revealing. He wasn’t throwing softballs and allowed her to make a fool of herself. It was too subtle for the great unwashed as He probably had to leave his penis at home on a condition set by Doubtfire. I’m guessing he was angry he didn’t have his penis. He had yard after yard of muscular coils of rope for her to gag on.

Now that’s fucking sexist, bitch!

She showed up on Hannity. Anyone who would reference her performance at that venue in a positive way would have to be a complete shitsmear. Seriously people, don’t be trying to bring that kinda shiznit for my nizzle. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Wonder if I’ll leave it. You may never know.

I’ve decided to leave it to discourage you from taking me too seriously. I am not an Atomic Playboy. I do not fraternize with women of ill repute. There’s a decent chance I know things you don’t. That’s not to say you don’t know things I’m completely unaware of.

Stay with me. Stay on the motherfucker.

Drinks for my friends.

I was right. Doubtfire has begun to slip in the estimation of America. This includes of course, Ms. Palin.

It’s pretty simple really. People are beginning to understand she’s a shiny new penny. In one of those tiny hand blown glass jars with an even tinier cork. Ever seen those? Used to get them at carnivals and tourist traps. At the end of the day, all she is is a penny. To buy the penny outright was at least a dollar.

I predicted it.

Up next we have the current financial clusterfuck. I admit economics is one of my weaker suits, but I know enough to understand that McCain is not the guy I want driving this bus. He walks like that cause he’s had cancer four times and his medical file is thousands of pages long. He walks like that because at least one foot is six feet under. Just think what the Presidency does to a man. Now, factor in that new penny and the size of this goddamn storm.

I predicted the economic thing too. Walk in the park. Easy to see. Fisher fucking price. For years, housing was the last load bearing wall and it was obviously going to buckle. More like the last domino than the first. If you didn’t know better you’d think we are ruled by a mob of misanthropes with nothing but greed and lust where their hearts used to be.

Wanna buy a bridge? How about a road?

Our Man was on the tip. September 17, 2007 Obama delivered a speech to Nasdaq that pretty much covered this giant gaping and gushing, fiscal fucking code red slash 911, before it happened. He’s addressed policy and substance on this eventuality time and time again. He’s been paying attention.

McCain and his former top economic adviser, Phil Gramm, King and Queen of deregulation, have been seen with their dockers down and their shrunken purple phalluses wagging. I’m thinking McCain was probably the Queen. You?

Henry Paulson, Treasury Secretary, now there’s a top for ya. Raised as a Christian Scientist. Eagle Scout. Frat boy at Dartmouth and a football player. Harvard too. Yep, this guy’s a top and he would like seven hundred billion dollars please. He would also ask that you skip the accountability thing and let him run with it. He wants you to trust him.

Did I mention he worked for Nixon and Goldman Sachs?

The polls are shifting by ten or eleven points in some places. States are in play that haven’t been for thirty years. Republican voter registration is flatlining and Democrats are steering armored vehicles bristling with angry youth through American towns everywhere.

“I been to the edge, an there I stood an looked down
You know I lost a lot of friends there baby, I got no time to mess around” -Van Halen

Sarah Palin said she watched Tina Fey’s clowning of her on SNL with the sound off and she was amused. That speaks volumes about her intellectual prowess.

Why don’t they just give up? If for no other reason than to save their supporters the inevitable embarrassment. Somewhere around fifty million Americans are getting all dressed up to look like the Special Ed class at the Jr. High dance. The naivete is ultimately tragic. They never even entertain the notion that life isn’t fair and they will be viciously ridiculed. It just hits them right in the mouth.

“All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach.” -Adolph Hitler

This, my take on politics today. The year of our lord, two thousand and eight, September twenty two.

Drinks for my friends.

ptember 23, 2008 – Tuesday – 9:07 AM
You don’t introduce new products in August
”From a marketing point of view,” said Andrew H. Card Jr., the White House chief of staff who is coordinating the effort, ”you don’t introduce new products in August.”

It’s September, Card said this about the roll out of the Iraq War in 2002. Will this be the book end of the Bush Doctrine? Empty the treasury!

History repeats itself, the classic squeeze play. Closing in on the election, the White House rolls out the new fleecing of America, the mother of all financial meltdowns.

The Iraq war has taken upwards of one TRILLION dollars. How much does the Bush White House want, let’s start with $700 BILLION and see how that works.

As Treasury buys bad assets, how do we know that they won’t grossly over pay or those assets putting profits on the balance sheets of the very companies that have caused this mess?

Treasury also wants to do this with no oversight, and they plan to contract out the actual work. Give us the money and trust us to solve the problem we helped create.

Liberals will do almost anything to get something for society, including shoot themselves in the foot. I watched the Sunday morning news shows, and wasn’t sure what was wrong, but I knew something was up.

So, the liberals plan is to attach stimulus to the bill, for you and I, but are they just going to be putting lips stick on a pig of a bill?

As this works it’s way through the legislature, remember, this is being offered by the Bush White House. This is not an idea hatched by Congress. So, as Dems vote on this issue, will they be painted as the cause? Watch for the classic tactic of American rightwing propaganda:

Always accuse one’s opponent of doing the very thing that one is doing, especially if one has been caught or exposed while doing it.

That’s what they are doing today. Blaming the Dems for Gramm’s The Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, also known as the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Financial Services Modernization Act, the act that deregulated banking, insurance and investment, causing this problem.

Remember whose plan this is. Remember who the deregulator is, and who is for strong regulation. Remember who is who, and don’t fall for the scare tactic.

ENOUGH!

J

I’ll try to be respectful.

Of course I’m not replying to Rod’s comment you fool. How long did that take you? Work with me here. I’m not here to fuck around. I’m here to cut to the chase and today that chase is your bullshit.

If you delete my post for profanity, you have a giant vagina.

So your mother said “Fool’s names and fool’s faces are always seen in public places.”. Um, so they are of smart people too. You probably own a lightbulb that says Edison on it somewhere or at least his patent number. Whatever. The mark of important minds is in everything you touch. Spare me your folksy sentimentalism. No disrespect to your mother.

Who’s BHO?

Who’s my messiah? I must warn you before you answer, I’m agnostic.

The Jerimiah Wright thing is tired and over. And for what it’s worth, I don’t disagree with anything he had to say.

William Ayers huh? How many of your idiots even understand he’s white?

“I’ve thought about this a lot. Being almost 60, it’s impossible to not have lots and lots of regrets about lots and lots of things, but the question of did we do something that was horrendous, awful? … I don’t think so. I think what we did was to respond to a situation that was unconscionable.”

“On September 9, 2008, journalist Jake Tapper reported on the comic strip in Bill Ayers’s blog explaining the soundbite: “The one thing I don’t regret is opposing the war in Vietnam with every ounce of my being….’When I say, ‘We didn’t do enough,’ a lot of people rush to think, ‘That must mean, “We didn’t bomb enough s—.’ But that’s not the point at all. It’s not a tactical statement, it’s an obvious political and ethical statement. In this context, ‘we’ means ‘everyone.”

Ayers is currently a Distinguished Professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago, College of Education. His interests include teaching for social justice, urban educational reform, narrative and interpretive research, children in trouble with the law, and related issues. -UIC

Both Obama and Ayers were members of the board of an anti-poverty group, the Woods Fund of Chicago, between 1999 and 2002. In addition, Ayers contributed $200 to Obama’s re-election fund to the Illinois State Senate in April 2001 -washingtonpost.com

That’s it kids. Really. That’s it.

I’m too tired to go into Rezko tonight. Happy to do it another time. Allow me to produce the Keating Five from under my cape for study and contemplation while you chew on what I’ve already thrown in front of you and your band of mentally challenged merry men.

Maybe you should stick to selling us on the Muslim horsehit fairytale.

Three syllables. Pathetic.

I like Joe Biden. Always have. He’s a good man.

And fer fuck’s sake, we don’t hate America. Stop saying that. It’s an ignorant lie. It insults us and it’s a fucking lie.

Rest of the story here

Click on that. It’s the idiot’s blog.

Drinks for my friends.

Today I enjoyed the sparkling splendor of two milestones while I sailed past them grinning and drooling like an idiot on some wonderful new euphoria inducing cocktail of pills and liquor.

Thanks to you, dear readers, I’ve passed fifty thousand reads here at brainspank. A number that is roughly equal to the town I grew up in.

An average of well over a hundred new readers every day, and between five hundred and a thousand of you are returning to read my musings at some point every twenty four hours. I’m impressed. Thank you very, very much.

The second achievement is one that pleases me almost as much; as we speak, I’ve had over twelve hundred and fifty readers in a single day. Today. Forgive my hubris, but that rocks. Again, with all sincerity, thank you.

Forgive me while I imagine applause.

I also anticipate with confidence, passing ten thousand readers in one month for the very first time. The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.

More applause.

You people humble me, you are the lipstick on my pig.

I do my level best to inform and entertain you. I endeavor to bring you facts as well as humor. Often I research my subject for days before offering you my opinion and perspective. I strive to to bring both to you with as much honesty as I possibly can. I take responsibility for everything I write, and I take it very seriously. I can only hope it’s why you keep coming back.

Excelsior.

Always wanted for a reason to say that in a blog.

In the interest of symmetry, I need to make two points. First: You all should talk to me more. Comment. Let me know you’re out there. You’re free to ask questions. You got a topic burning a hole in your pocket? Persuade me to address it. You got a problem with what I’m saying? Talk to me. This concludes point number one.

Point number two is this: Talk ABOUT me. Pimp me. If what I do entertains you, tell your friends. I’d be beyond gratified to get paid for this. It’s a goal. A respectable one because I’m good at it. I’ll never charge you the reader, but I wouldn’t mind attracting advertisers. Wouldn’t it be something if I could devote my full attention to this? Post my banner and/or tell someone.

With your help, someday I’ll have crap you can actually buy. T-shirts, mugs, fridge magnets.

I’m not concerned at all about the the direction of anyone’s political wind. Be they vehemently opposed, they are welcome. More than welcome to engage me. I’m no lockstep Democrat or liberal but I don’t mind being called either. Except the lockstep part. Man up bitches. I would warn you that I’m a neocon’s worst nightmare. I’m an intelligent liberal.

In the meantime I’ll tell you this. The polls are shifting. The shift, not the gap mind you, but the shift, as much as ten points as of today. In favor of Our Man, of course. I predicted it as did many of you.

She is empty and so is he.

Work with me.

Drinks for my friends.

By Deanna: A new guest writer.

The stakes just got higher. If McCain/Palin manage to take control of the White House, it is very bad news. I certainly have major concerns about government policies that only serve the wealthy at the expense of our financial security, the ecology, the Constitution, to name a few. The republican party has been hijacked by extremists who’ve laid waste. But, this election cycle there is something far more insidious brewing. It’s called: Troopergate.

It’s not just that Palin may be guilty of abusing her power as govenor of Alaska, but it’s American’s complacency when it comes to this kind of behavior that’s particularly upsetting. That we could even begin to conceive of lifting someone to the highest office in our nation who may have abused her governmental powers. That we are not demanding the truth be known immediately. That we are not outraged by McCain and Palin’s attempts to squash the investigation with blatantly ridiculous complaints of partisanship.

Americans. Abuse of power is a big deal. It betrays absolutely everything our country is supposed to be about. It is the stuff of totalitarian regimes. Historically, the way the most corrupt leaders have governed.

Every single American, must take this matter into perspective. Put ourselves in Monegan’s shoes for a moment. It is very important.

Imagine your name is Walt Monegan. You aspire in your career to be a high ranking police officer. You work hard, earn the respect of your peers, perform with integrity and after years of persistence, you obtain the position of Chief of Police, Anchorage Alaska. These are American ideals. Across all party lines, across our entire nation we hold fast to the doctrine that if we work hard and perform with integrity, we can succeed and prosper in this great land.

Ms. Palin is your governor.

You are then compelled by Palin to open a closed investigation of a trooper’s misconduct. The trooper’s name is Mike Wooten and he happens to be her former brother-in-law, someone that she is clearly “none-too-fond-of”. According to policy and procedure, to reopen Wooten’s case without additional evidence would be improper and you decline.

Suddenly Palin fires you. The Alaskan Legislature is shocked because they know you’re a highly respected officer, so they ask you about it. No, you could not carry out a personal vendetta of the governor and fire Wooten. That would be wrong, it would taint your entire career and everything you stand for. You stood by your principles.

You lost the job you worked so hard to get. Your colleagues look upon you with suspicion even though you are innocent of any wrongdoing. Your reputation is now questioned because you honored your position of power and refused to do something unethical.

Now imagine Palin in the White House. Running our nation. Our homeland security. Our foreign affairs. If the Troopergate investigation turns out to be true and she makes decisions like this, it is cause for very grave concern. VERY GRAVE.

What makes it even scarier is that McCain and Palin have made several moves to obstruct the investigation. If the polls are accurate, and so many Americans are willing to vote for this pair in light of this behavior, I am deeply concerned about the future of freedoms in the country. I would expect that she’d want to clear her name right away were she innocent. Wouldn’t you? It becomes very suspect.

How could we even conceive of electing such people to the highest office in our nation? To be the guardians of our Constitution, our freedoms, our rights. Any of us could be Monegan in any given situation. Targeted for destruction, defamed, stripped of one’s livelihood, Lord knows what else, for standing up to governmental corruption.

America. We must know the truth about Troopergate. McCain and Palin’s attempts to quash the investigation disqualify them both from the highest office in our nation. Period. Because to not know is an incredibly terrifying proposition.

Last night, I met a man named Elmer Pinto. He was recovering from an injury. I would describe him as swarthy.

I really like blood orange juice.

My girlfriend, not so much. This works in my favor. The penalty is heartburn.

I’ve become somewhat of a banker. The worst part is the monkey suit. Kenneth Cole baby.

All the sudden I’m doing mad math. That part of my brain is dusty and smells of moths and tadpoles in a bucket of stinking algae.

I’m not at all confused by this financial bronco, bucking and foaming with mad eyes. Destroying everything. I’ve been predicting it for years. It makes complete sense to me. Walk in the park. I understood that under Dick-in-Bush, the idea of an “ownership society” was complete crap. An absolute lie.

Our Man has known it for quite some as well. He’s been talking about this fallacy for years. Same as me. Great minds think alike. We don’t miss the obvious.

I watched Bill Maher tonight and learned that white women in America can be counted on to be abject bimbos, this includes Sarah Palin. Forgive me but this Palin phenomena is inexcusable. It’s a goddamn farce and her pantsuit is as empty as Dumbya’s Armani.

I never cared about the charges of sexism. It’s bullshit. She sucks and anyone with half a brain knows it. I won’t even contemplate an apology. She’s done nothing, been nowhere and doesn’t know shit. I know intelligent people that are buying it. I can’t figure it.

Join me. Be wary of it all. Be suspicious. Be incredulous. At least be fucking confused.

We’ve gone almost eight years under leadership by a suit painfully empty. Painfully empty. No responsible course of action on any major issue. Everything, every aspect of every major issue they chose to engage, has turned to shit. Inept, misguided, out of touch and criminal. Not necessarily in that order. It has all gone to shit.

How did we get here?

On a ship of fools. A trillion fucking dollars and we have no choice. No choice. Exponentially more severe than the S&L nightmare and the tech bubble. We’re hearing comparisons to the Great Depression from the mainstream media. Fuck me. Fuck you. We’re about to be a third world country.

So let’s keep spending a half a billion a day in Iraq. Great idea. For what again? Tell me why we’re there?

Johnny Deregulation and his Prince of peril, Phil Gramm have more fingers in this pie than the entire Democratic party. His suggestion was to commission a study. Yep, Doubtfire took the absolutely audacious and brazen step of proposing we look a bit harder at it. Get some eggheads in here to tell us what we already know. Brilliant.

Krugman on Maher says we’re fucked for a while. Krugman from the NYT and Princeton, is the real deal, tells it like it is. Naomi Klein says we’ve simply moved the disaster from Wall Street to Main Street. A debt that will explode on you and I. Count on it.

This is gonna suck.

Andrew Sullivan looks thinner to me. A gay conservative Republican who talks a lot of sense.

I loves me some Bill Maher. I hear he’s an arrogant prick. I don’t doubt it. A lead singer with lead singer disease. Moving right along.

Then there’s the notion of Mr. Obama for President.

You know, forgive me for oversimplifying, but what we have here is fear. It is fear of guilt. The older you are, the more likely you have participated in actual racism. Maybe you just tolerated it, but the fear among America’s middle aged and older is genuine. Many of them know they have behaved badly and they are afraid. Very reluctant to own it. Get over it you spineless pricks.

There it is. That is what we’re up against.

The idea that they’re willing to buy Sarah Palin and Doubtfire hook, line and sinker is proof of the rampant stupidity that infects them.

It is regoddamndiculous.

I know I’ve been here before. To warn you. Here I am again. To warn you. Help me out here. Let me know you’re listening, Tell me you’re passing it along. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, work with me? Please.

It just doesn’t get any more important than this.

Drinks for my friends.

The polls are suspect, but way too close.

I’m so tired of worrying.

Should we brace ourselves for a complete clusterfuck?

The economy can barely walk, lung disease and a nasty infection. Coughing up yellow shit.

The polls are close.

Maybe. I honestly don’t know.

Let’s entertain the notion. Just for fun.

January 21, 2009. McCain and Palin stand behind bulletproof glass beaming. Imagine the splendor. The granduer of a four time face cancer survivor and a woman who in the words of Fred Thompson, “can field dress a moose”. Awesome, the dignity of the ancient dottard and his cheerleader sidekick in full flower.

Behind inch thick plexi, mouths steam as they are sworn. January in DC. No blossoms on the mall for at least four months.

Oh, the pageantry. Oh, the humanity.

Then what?

I’m picturing a return to hoop skirts and a resurgence of marbles among adolescent boys. Pinball will enjoy a fresh popularity. Roller skating with clay wheels and car side service by chicks in pantyhose. Mmmmmm, frosted mugs of bubbly rootbeer. Yo Yos. Hula Hoops. Casseroles and many more things made of yarn than seen today.

It’s gonna be great. Lotsa plastic whistles and balloons and fresh baked pies.

I’m a little sad it won’t be as cool as the future I anticipated.

I wish I could have both. Technology. Broadband internet and Hi def TV. I’m seriously in a holding pattern for virtual sex. I’m really curious about this new collider in Geneva. I like my Mac a lot. I really like the internet.

The innocence of dial telephones, the birth of the muscle car and not a single digital read out anywhere.

Radium watches. Unchecked toxic waste. Korea and Vietnam. The cold war.

Kinda like the fifties. You know, when Christianity held absolute sway in the heartland. When blacks weren’t elitist, much less uppity. They knew their place. Women too. We let them vote but they were aware that uppity was not an option. Not for white women anyway. We kept our shit real in the day. Head of household was just that.

Commander in fucking cheif.

Though this utopian lifestyle will take effect on the same day as the inauguration, there will be wrinkles.

It will be an adjustment, but nowhere near traumatic. Life is good. Take it easy. America has opted for real change. McCain Palin are here to bring change. Long after Obama said it sincerely, these two pillars of virtue assimilated that message and are here to visit it upon all of us.

Wrinkles.

The hot gust of a sulphur and garlic fart. Moist heat and a cosmic resonance.

From loose nukes and poverty, to even white folks fearing the police, peanut butter becoming a staple as well as a commodity. Just like pork bellies. The middle class will become the working poor and there will once again be Robber barons and Captains of industry.

It’s kind of exciting. Maybe train robbery will become viable again. Count on the ubiquity of mid century style liquor store robberies. We’ll all need to rely on ourselves more. Sometimes, it will be at the expense of our neighbors. Sometimes, at their peril. Many of us will be forced into lawlessness. Don’t be alarmed at this change, it’s just how some Republicans let us know they too believe in natural selection. It’s a wink at evolution. Even the brightest assholes are cool with Darwin.

We should all brush up on our agricultural know how. It’s gonna be big in the post technocratic age. Trust me, study your climate and soil. When everything goes down, loot the bookstore for gardening books, nevermind the convenience store. Hit the hardware store for shovels, wheelbarrows etc.

Make sure your cool on sunglases and hats. Steal as much sunscreen as you can find.

The music from the ice cream truck keeps on keeping on behind all of it. So help me god.

Whatever kids. That’s how the West was won.

Drinks for my friends.

09/19/08 12:58AM
You Can’t Run Away From Who You Are!

How do you know you’re a Republican?

You voted along with your party, the REPUBLICAN Party, over 90% of the time. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You voted along with the other REPUBLICANS, for deregulation every time you had the chance to do it, and offered up legislation to deregulate whenever you could. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You still believe in trickle down economics. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You believe that enabling someone to buy a Ferrari for $240,000 is the same for the economy as enabling 12 people to buy 12 Chevys for $20,000 each. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You believe that giving someone that doesn’t have a tax liability of $5,000 a $5,000 tax credit to buy insurance is a health plan. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You believe that if someone’s house goes through foreclosure, you shouldn’t be allowed to vote. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You believe voting while black is a crime. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You believe anything you can do to DRIVE DOWN THE VOTE is a good thing. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You believe that an African American Man, raised by a single mother, on food stamps, went to college on scholarships and student loans, worked for $12,000 a year, for a church, after graduating, is an elitist. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You believe that profits made in the market should be private, and should be taxed at the lowest levels. You also believe that if the market goes to hell in a hand basket the tax payer should bail you out. You’re a REPUBLICAN!

You had a convention to nominate the REPUBLICAN candidate, but you never used the word REPUBLICAN. You’re still a REPUBLICAN!

You believe it is ok to scare the hell out of the nation to get elected. You’re a REPUBLICAN! By the way, if you believe in the scare tactics, you may think you’re a Republican, but you’re really a sheep!

I have been watching the news a lot lately. I have money in the market/bank/mother with money… so I have a vested interest. I am fucking amazed that there is not a single Republican in the world that will admit that they have run this economy into the ground.

You have held the White House for the last 8 years, the congress for 12 of the last 14 years, have a toss up Senate, turned a $281 B surplus into a $357 B deficit, a $5.7 T debt into a $9.7 T debt, yet you have zero responsibility in the melt down in the market. Man the Hell Up!!! You’re still a REPUBLICAN!

Please, offer your own if you like.

Enough!

J

Bitches.

Still in the full body condom, America’s moose gutting mom avoids engaging the media like the kid in the Casper costume glimpsing the gang of Metallica wannabes drinking beer and leaning against a Camaro after midnight on all hallows eve. Nose running. With a fuckin pillow case full of The Kind.

She’s afraid and so is the campaign. The polite term is neophyte. The accurate term is wolf slaughtering doe in the headlights.

I hear the next official media exposure will be a gritty, no holes barred interview with Sean Hannity. What we have here is the body condom, a net, some matresses and a fucktard. Sheezus. If Americans are actually this dumb, how does bread end up on the shelves? Produce?

“The fundamentals of the American economy are sound”, now watch while I coin this phrase.

The Malfeasance of Idiocrasy.

That’s really the salient argument here. The catastrophe that keeps giving. We’ve gotta half a billion dollar a day war addiction and the banks are dropping like flies. Big ones. The biggest ones. People are dying.

The Malfeasance of Idiocrasy.

I heard tonight the housing debacle will begin to heal early next year. Bullshit. America has a chronic and potentially lethal fiscal disease. Picture liver and kidney failure.

There is a cure. Might be too late though.

The housing conflagration was merely the first obvious symptom. Pretty nasty boils, but a symptom nonetheless. Not unlike those carbuncles from my last blog. These knuckes of flesh will still be festering and oozing after first thaw.

The disease is another matter. I’m here to talk about the part of the disease that is pure, blind hubris. It’s name is Sarah Palin and she doesn’t know shit. That is exactly why she thinks she can do this, because she doesn’t know shit. She has no fucking idea where she may be allowed to walk.

You’ve got be fucking kidding me.

She’s under investigation, she’s ducking subpeonas. Half the women in her state loathe her. This is ridiculous. The top of their ticket is seasoned, albeit bitterly, and the bottom is a blowhard. She shouts less than nothing. She lies. Bridge To Nowhere anyone? ANYONE? Earmarks, Bueller, Bueller? The plane, the plane? Tattoo?

It’s a goddamn joke half of us are too stupid to get.

Americans are astonishigly stupid.

Know what really chaps my ass? The drooling, sewage vomiting, talking head Republicans. They just make shit up. I’m constantly asking myself how they can sit through makeup etc. and appear on camera fully prepared to utter the words that manifest into sentences and then paragraphs of such transparent, wholesale, sociopathic lies.

Yes, I understand we do it too. It bothers me. I offer this caveat: my side is rarely, if ever as audacious and never as vicious as the Republicans. Have you seen them go after each other? For what it’s worth, my side is not exclusively Democratic, they are always independent thinkers.

Republicans routinely push the envelope of decency and consistently push past the bounds of common sense. Always beyond reprehensible. No ethical imperative. No moral compass.

The Malfeasance of Idiocrasy.

Drinks for my friends.

What more do you need?

The ineptitude.

I would refer you first, to today’s stock market performance. Next, I’d like to point you to the likely failure of AIG and WAMU. Our nation’s largest insurance company and largest S&L respectively. Wall street will break a few records this week. Last but not least, I would have you read the last two blogs by my guest contributors, Josh and J.

The ugliness has begun.

The American economy and therefore that of the world, is a mere sigh away from spectacular collapse not seen since the towers on 9/11. Repercussions not felt since the Great Depression.

Now, who are you voting for?

We got trouble, right here in River City.

Here’s a big ass truth for you. The war is no longer an issue of morality and justice, it’s all about the Benjamins. For years we haven’t been able to afford this reasonless war. It’s been waged on credit, while contactors stink atop piles of filthy lucre. Fom now on, everyday it’s allowed to continue, is a guarantee of a dark day to come for every citizen in this country from the upper middleclass on down.

Just today Doubtfire said the fundamentals of the American economy are sound. Boys and girls, this man is an idiot. He’s either in denial or lying. The fundamentals of our economy are imploding you jackass. The banks are failing you moron.

McCain has admitted not knowing much about the economy and his running mate lies about earmarks while overseeing a cash cow of a state. The most government money per capita of any state in the union. Doubtfire, along with Phil Gramm, is the king of deregulation. From the housing bust, to the debt and the buckling of historied financial institutions, deregulation is the catalyst. Merrill fucking Lynch disappeared today. Remember the Keating Five? The original Enron.

Shut up, I know he was exonerated but he was in past his elbows. He got slimed. Got some on his face, gave him face cancer.

By the time we next inaugurate a President, our faces will have become familiar with the canvas. The question has become not so much about the fittest to be Commander in Chief, but rather about which team is best able to get us back on our feet.

He will begin to slip in the polls. The Republican Rovenesque juggernaut didn’t anticipate this particular strain from the virus of fear they so carefully nurture. Clearly, these asshats did not position adequately for the advent of cleaning up their own mess BEFORE leaving office.

What?

They were gonna just dump it on whoever. They got behind McCain because he’s more profitable and he mitigates the chances any of them will serve time. Either way, they’re cool. You can tell they don’t give a mad fuck. No worries.

They didn’t plan for the house to be on fire while they were in it though. They pass out marshmallows with a nervous grin, a sheen of sweat on their faces.

Boil and chop kids, boil and chop. Tell me you’re on the motherfucker.

Something wicked this way comes.

Drinks for my friends.

09/15/08 11:26PM
A Remarkable Day
“The fundamentals of this economy are strong”

John McCain September 15, 2008

I am a firm believer in looking at ones past to determine how they will do in the future. The last time America saw a huge housing bubble was in the 1980s, aka the Savings and Loan meltdown. I had just moved back from Japan, and was stationed in Phoenix AZ. When I arrived there were over 100 empty new homes within a 10 mile radius, and many subdivisions were half built, the remainder of the land held in court after Lincoln Savings went belly up.

McCain in the Keating Five scandal in the 1980s sought to undercut bank regulators and then refused to hold himself accountable for the ensuing bank failures.

Are we to believe that John McCain will be the man to bring change to Washington? Will we just see more empty rhetoric of change? McCain’s economist, Phil Graham, as a senator pushed through legislation that deregulated the financial and energy markets. This is what has allowed huge speculation in energy, and has brought together banks, traders, and insurance companies.

Speaking of which, this last weekend Merrill Lynch (Trader) sold themselves to Bank of America (Bank), Lehman Brothers (Investment Bank) went belly up, and AIG (Insurance Company) was seeking $50 B in loans.

Are you better off today than you were 8 years ago?

Inauguration Day 2001 Now

Unemployment Rate 4.2% 6.1%

Budget $281 B $357 B

Surplus Deficit

Debt $5.7 T $9.7 T

Oh, and we just lost $500,000,000,000 today in the stock market.

John McCain is a Republican, he supports the same economics that BushCo have supported, laissez-faire economics, pre-depression style regulations. They don’t work!!!

ENOUGH!

J

Sunday, September 14, 2008 – 10:53 PM

Lehman, Bear, Freddie, Fannie: What Does It All Mean???
With the ink not yet dry on the massive bailout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, today Lehman Brothers is expected to announce its bankruptcy, making it the second of the top ten American investment banks to go under this year. The numbers involved are so staggering that it is difficult to put them in perspective. How are we to make sense of a $10 billion loss, a $100 billion loss, a $1 trillion loss? For most people these numbers are beyond comprehension, and many Americans are left scratching their heads wondering what it all means.

As John Maynard Keynes – the greatest economist of the 20th Century – remarked after World War I, “The vast expenditures of the war, the inflation of prices, and the depreciation of currency, leading up to a complete instability of the unit of value, have made us lose all sense of number and magnitude in matters of finance. What we believed to be the limits of possibility have been so enormously exceeded. And those who founded their expectations on the past have been so often wrong, that the man in the street is now prepared to believe anything which is told him with some show of authority, and the larger the figure the more readily he swallows it.”

The media and government tell us (with as much show of authority as they can muster) that the choices we currently face involve trade-offs between private interests and American taxpayers. This is a misleading oversimplification. After all, when the government backed the $30 billion takeover of Bear Stearns, our taxes didn’t go up. (In fact, the government sent us all a nice tax rebate check right around the same time.)

It is basic common sense that we can’t spend hundreds of billions of dollars on wars while simultaneously bailing out banks without a corresponding increase in taxes. The US government owes almost $10 trillion. It’s the biggest debtor in the history of the planet, so what does it really mean when the Treasury offers to lend money to failing financial institutions? Where does this money come from?

The answer is that the US government has the power to print money, and they have been doing so at an ever increasing rate in order to hold off the financial tsunami that threatens to sink the entire economy. The problem is that doing so does nothing to solve the problems that caused the tsunami in the first place and only makes matters worse in the long run.

So, in reality the trade-off involved when deciding whether to bail out a bank is not between private interests and taxpayers, but rather between debtors and creditors. There is nothing stopping the Treasury from printing $1 trillion every day. With that amount of money they could bail out every bank in the country. Of course, simply adding indiscriminately to the money supply (without a corresponding increase in production of real goods and services) would lead to a massive fall in the value of the currency (i.e. inflation).

Herein lies the real trade-off involved when the government prints money to bail out debtors (whether they be huge investment banks or millions of struggling homeowners). Since debts are denominated in dollars, they must be repaid in dollars. But no one ever said that the value of the dollar must remain the same between the time a loan is made and when it is repaid. If the government decides to drastically increase the money supply in the meantime, anyone who borrowed money will be repaying their debts with depreciated dollars. Thus inflation amounts to a windfall for debtors at the expense of creditors.

Since it is becoming increasingly obvious that individuals, corporations, and the US government have borrowed more money than they can ever hope to repay, the temptation is very strong to debase the currency. Its much more politically expedient than to institute the massive tax increases that would be required to balance our national finances. People don’t like tax increases and vote against them, but how do you vote against inflation? As Keynes said, “There is no subtler, no surer means of overturning the existing basis of Society than to debauch the currency. The process engages all the hidden forces of economic law on the side of destruction, and does it in a manner than not one man in a million is able to diagnose.”

Just consider the uproar over rising gas prices. Everyone in government and the media tells us that it is due to increased Chinese demand, stagnant production, or speculation. Did they ever stop to think that maybe the value of oil hasn’t been going up so much as the value of the US dollar has been going down?

Of course, the financial authorities will always pay lip service to “maintaining a strong dollar”, but actions speak louder than words. For every problem we face today, the government’s response is the same – just print more dollars. The actions of the government make it abundantly clear that they are willing to sacrifice the dollar in order to avert a massive wave of defaults. Unfortunately, the ones who will pay are those who behaved responsibly – those who worked hard, avoided debt, and saved.

And, paradoxically, this state of affairs gives people more incentive than ever to act irresponsibly. If we know that the US government is going to cause the dollar to depreciate severely, the sensible course of action is to run out and borrow money to purchase real assets. After all, if the dollars we have to repay will be worth a fraction of what they’re now worth, that house, car, or gold coin will still be worth a house, a car, or gold coin.

This observation also sheds light on another aspect of the “credit crunch” that the government and the media never talk about. We are told that all of a sudden banks have “tightened up their lending standards”, and this is to blame for the horrible state of the real estate market. Could it also be that those who have money to lend are wising up and don’t want to lend money at 6% if inflation is going to run 10% or higher? (If there’s anyone out there who wants to lend me some money for 10 years at 6% interest, please get in touch!)

As Keynes observed, there is “an almost unbroken chronicle in every country which has a history, back to the earliest dawn of historic record, of a progressive deterioration in the real value of the successive legal tenders which have represented money… The creation of legal tender has been and is a Government’s ultimate reserve; and no State or Government is likely to decree its own bankruptcy or its own downfall so long as this instrument lies at hand unused.”

I say without equivocation, certainly without apology, Bill Maher rocks. His show, the format, the concept and the man. New Rules is consistently brilliant. No exception tonight. And it’s entertaining. Wow.

I understand he’s an arrogant bastard. Oh well.

How much my perception and enthusiasm have to do with the fact there was only one douchebag on the panel and he was an authentic douchebag? I just can’t say.

Toss him some government cheese for pointing out how absurd it was for Tenet to get the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Snatch it from him for neglecting to mention Franks and Bremer.

The graph and measure of my fanhood for Janeane Garofalo is far from pretty, but she was on like a pyrex bong. Smarter and more aggressive than the aforementioned douchebag, a journalist for the Wall Street Journal named John Fund. No shit, that’s his name. Get it?

She described Republicans, using the example of the RNC, as unrestrained id that throws red meat out for the dopes. That’s hot. She also shouted, “that’s such unbelievable bullshit”. It matters not at all what she was talking about. She bared teeth and drew her sword.

This guy Fund smiled an idiot smile, obfuscated and attempted to patronize and condescend until the bell. He came off, despite his best efforts, precisely like a douchebag.

Bill brought in Roseanne at the end. She was shrill, opinionated, sarcastic. aggressive and completely on the money. Absolutely right.

The show opened with Paul Begala explaining to us that what Axlerod and Our Man have been doing is similiar to that scene in Braveheart where Mel Gibson is telling his men to hold. Hold. Hold……..and then he lowers his sword. The Scots commence to open a giant keg of whoop ass on the English. These are my people you know. My ancestors.

I hope so.

This race will be far more entertaining, maybe even more aesthetically rich and dense like cheescake, satisfying like sushi and beer, if Begala is right. I hope so, because it’s also absolutely necessary. I’m over being the pussy party. Outsmart them and hand them their asses too.

Tired, tired, tired of this shit.

Salman Rushdie bats a good clean up and Maher fields the ball whenever Fund gets his bat on it. A couple times, Maher fired it back hard from the infield and hit the smug prick in the mouth. He kept his composure, still it was gorgeous.

Roseanne walked on at the end to throw nothing but beanballs. She only shut up for Bill and spent the rest of her time throwing hard at the douchebag’s head. This too, was gorgeous.

After this week’s media, I welcome the actual pummeling of any mealy mouthed conservative with a cartoon fucking grin. Every successful Republican has one of those unrealistically false grins. Imagine Romney or the rictus on Guilliani. Like they’re drawn on. Like a cartoon. Except Cheney. He hasn’t actually smiled since his late twenties, when he learned to masturbate. Prick.

All four heart attacks, he was found with pants around ankles, both hands on his johnson. Darth’s pet name for his trouser twninkie is Lyndon Baines. I made this last part up.

Maher’s point about cynicism being when you say shit, despite knowing better than the dumb people, you still say it because the dumb people will buy it and they can get you elected, made me somewhat tumid. I couldn’t agree more. Tumescence.

What’s happening here is a collision between the smart and the stupid. A clash brought on by the profound differences in our candidates. Both ideologically, and how they are perceived as people. How people identify with them. The bright and the dim.

Methinks it’s a jacked up set of circumstances.

How much does that suck? The good fight is for the hearts and minds of the willfully ingnorant and the garden variety dipshits. Shameful, and not only because it’s never been won solely with truth and honesty. Yet it hasn’t. Ever. There’s just too goddamn many of them. The ignorant, the willfully ignorant and the masses unclean. They don’t read and they pay only passing respect to awareness.

The righteous rarely prevail in contemporary American politics because of the naivete of adhering to and believing in, justice, honor and integrity.

As I write this, the evil bastards are competing and maybe winning by ignoring the issues save to lie about them. I’ve seen this my entire adult life. I read conservative blogs, watch Hannity and listen to Limbaugh. I know precisely how they do it. If I’m not able see a few moves ahead, I know where to look. I seek the words of the intellectually irresponsible.

Why can’t the good fight do this? Why won’t they? Doubtfire is as dirty as a pig and Palin is the lipstick. Our Man pointed it out on Letterman.

I think what’s been missing here is a willingness to throw hands. Kerry sucked and Gore wasn’t much better. They both rolled around till the Republicans found the wet spot. Either one of the Clintons will kick an ass if given the chance and that’s why they have been so successful. They will light you up just to remind you. When a Republican begins to spit they know to make a fist. Far from perfect these two, but there are lessons to be learned under even the smallest of stones.

Billary are still the biggest boulders in the Democratic party.

Put them out front as shock troops if they agree. They will. Our Man and his people need to take notes. I’d hate to see the most important election in the history of this country decided by the party most willing to punch balls. Yet it’s at least a requisite factor in any modern campaign strategy. Be ready and willing to swing straight for the sack.

I’m not seeing enough of this from my side. I smell vagina. I smell kittens, tofu and arugula, sauvignon blanc and a mild gorgonzola. Our stereotype sucks. Rednecks are known for a willingness to throw down. A liberal would then get a restraining order and sue the redneck. I know, I’m a liberal.

We need to start swinging, because this shit is fucked up and idiots aren’t bad people, they’re just idiots.

Back burner defense, get offensive. Get in faces. Palin and McCain are plenty vulnerable and they clearly don’t know shit about defending themselves. They are wide fucking open. Ducks in repose.

Don’t be afraid to punch the mouthy hick in the balls. You can’t change his mind so attempt to disable him.

I imagine Doubtfire has a handle on this kinda fuckery after 2000. I think he was most seduced by the concept of ‘attack with fuses burning’. Preemptive without regret. The Bush Doctrine. He’s not so stupid as to not understand the size and fierceness of such sociopathic apparatus the evil empire has at it’s disposal.

You know, he’s hired every one of them that visited it upon him back then.

He knows the machine. It ate him. Crapped him out. Now he’s it’s bitch all over again. Unfuckingbelievable.

Tell me you can’t see it.

With Palin, the seduction of McCain is complete. It is done. He has compromised the last of his values. He’s no longer worth a goddamn nickel.

Can’t you tell?

The good news is, both of these flowing like menstrual carbuncles are spectacularly vulnerable from the rear. Doubtfire has been penetrated before but it’s been eight years and they work for him now.

Time for fists. Vulnerable from the rear.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m sorry for the loss and the tragedies and the lies. It did affect me personally, but it turned out ok and my fiancee was safe. She was there and she was a flight attendant for one of the airlines. Scary for about forty minutes. I’ll take that and be grateful. That’s as far as it went for me and mine.

I am thankful.

We are no longer together but I’m happy she still roams the earth. Talked to her today.

Drinks for my friends.

If he were white, this would be over.

All that talent, all that charisma and all that intelligence. If he were white, McCain would be bucking for a cabinet post at best. “JFK” would escape the lips of Americans without hesitation. If, he were a white Christian male, just as attractive with just as much presence, saying exactly the same things and landing precisely where he does on every single issue, next. If he were white. We’d be all but finished here.

Race in your face bitches. No shit.

This sucks. They are lying to you so hard, with such desperation. If you buy it, we are laughing at you. Like hyenas, we stare and point and you wonder if the monkey is you or them. If that happens, understand you might be a redneck. Or gullible enough to be flirting with retardation. By the way, the monkey is you and them.

See, they just floated an ad that alleges Our Man prioritizes sex education in the first grade over children learning to read. That’s regoddamndiculous. It’s a bill that promotes educating young children about sexual predators. How’s that for a dirty political fucking lie? Makes Willie Horton and Kerry’s war record look Fisher Price. I dare anyone to explain this one to me.

Shameless, with a simultaneous assload of vanity. I really hate these guys.

Our Man shows up on Letterman and he’s brilliant. Detail, like Bill. A firm grip on the world and forgive me but he’s a regular dude. Likable, smart and funny. Then I see him on CNN, bright and lucid. Comfortable plumbing the depths of policy. Specific, learned and at ease.

McCain was charming. Made me laugh and threw some meat out there. He did well. We liberals are supposed to stop saying positive things about neocons. I call ’em like I see ’em. He’s still a coward, masquerading as a maverick, pretending to be an independent thinker. The truth is, he long ago lost sight of why he’s here and is now only capable of picturing the brass ring. The prize. He’s empty. He likes shiny things.

I should focus on this for a minute. Doubtfire has a friendliness deficit and Palin has the charm of a middle aged junior varsity cheerleader. Talk to her at a kegger and get back to me.

I want to tell you something. I’m just gonna say it. I relate to this guy because I’m not dumb, He’s smart and I’m not dumb. He’s smarter than me and I like that. I think you should too. No matter how stupid you are, you should at least be able to tell that this guy is way brighter than you or McCain and that should be reason enough for you to vote for him.

Haven’t we just suffered for over seven years because of our President’s stupidity?

What’s her name did her very first interview tonight as a potential VP. Charlie Gibson ABC, asked her in a glasses on the nose Ben Franklin way, if she experienced any hesitation when McCain asked her to be his running mate. She didn’t blink. She said she told Doubtfire if he thought she could help the ticket and the party, then absolutely.

She said this, as opposed to asking, even of herself, if she could function as President of the United States. It appears as though it never entered her cheerleader brain.

And for what it’s worth, she had no idea what the Bush Doctrine is.

Her calves were hot though.

Drinks for my friends.

09/12/08 1:51PM
Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free…
It’s been 7 years since the attacks of 911, to the minute. As I write this there is a replay of that fateful day running on the network news. As if any of us would forget the feelings we felt that day. As if we needed a real life reminder.

My life has changed in these last 7 years as much as a life can change in that period of time. My changes are my changes. Were they spurred by the events of 911? Perhaps.

After 911 I felt vulnerable at first, a little flag waving as well, but all of that settled into my desire to live the life I wanted to live, not the life that I thought was expected of me. I wanted to get right with my path.

I didn’t find religion, I didn’t find nationalism (as a retired Airman I think I found that when I was a teen), instead I found life.

I thought of what it meant to be an American. I thought of how we were different than the people that attacked us, our way of life, our sense of security. I thought that they were little people. Small in their understanding of the world, small in their understanding of right and wrong, small in their sense of self. They were extremists, fundamentalists; they had a closed view of the world, were not accepting of anything different, not accepting of the rights of others, anti everything the USA stood for.

Today, 9/11/2008 we are in the middle of one of the most divisive elections of our history. One side wants to instill hope not fear, the other wants to guarantee protection from religious fundamentalists. Both are now running on a “Change” platform, whatever that means anymore.

Clearly, we Americans are ready for change. Not just in the war policy, not just in the price of gas, but in the message we carry as Americans throughout the world. We can not protect everything that is important to us. We can not guard every bridge, every monument, every large building in every town and city. I’m sorry John McCain, we can not “defeat evil”, we can not win a “war on terror”, but we can find ourselves, again, and protect what it means to be an American.

Last week, as the RNC lit up with screams of “Drill Baby Drill”, and Oil Sheiks cheered, I thought, what would America, pre-911 do today? In 2000 McCain called the religious right “agents of intolerance.” Today he has put a Religious Fundamentalist on the ticket with him. Is that what Americans would do?

NO!

We would turn a deaf ear to the intolerance; we would accept everyone at our table, and work together to make the world a better place. We would not hunker down behind a false sense of security. We would work to open the world’s eyes to the wonders that come from real freedom. Freedom of thought, celebrating the differences we all have, proud of the fact that we are the melting pot of the world, where all are welcome.

As the Statue of Liberty looked on at the violent acts of 911, I wonder if she would even remember the country we were a mere 7 years ago. I wonder if she would still stand, telling the world, “Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free…”

I wonder, how can you measure victory in this war against extremism. Perhaps it can only be measured by how much it changes you, not how much you can change the world. We can not huddle behind false security, we can only save what makes us Americans.

ENOUGH

J

Know what? This shit is making me crazy. The mainstream media has just devoted an entire day to whether Our Man was sexist when he utilized an expression that I’ve even heard from my own Father’s mouth. My Father wasn’t talking about women, he was talking about Republicans.

They want you to believe they’ve never heard the expression before?

McCain has used it and so has Clinton.

I don’t care what he meant when he said it. It was either innocent or excellent swordsmanship. If he meant it, he wasn’t being sexist, he was calling her a dipshit.

Fifteen Minutes is all she has. Perhaps more of an empty suit than Dumbya. Been nowhere done nothing, disingenuous hockey mom from Wasilla Alaska. Had to look up the spelling.

This is fucking ridiculous. It won’t last, but please.

When Doubtfire first announced her, I was confused. Dumbfounded. I gathered my thoughts and faculties and arrived at the judgement that it was the most cynical and profoundly ridiculous move in contemporary politics I’d ever seen.

I was right. It is. I admit I’m mouth breathing over the interest, sensation and spectacle surrounding the entire debacle, but I’m here to tell you, it won’t last. She brings nothing. She has nothing. It may look like a brilliant move this week, within two weeks, it will be over save for the shouting.

I’m hoping sooner.

Our Man played his bishop on the chessboard with Biden. McCain took a pawn out of his pocket, painted with sparkly nail polish and placed it on the board with a reluctant palsy. He realized it was plastic and it’s weight confused his geriatric hand. He briefly forgot what he was doing when he noticed the rest of the pieces were made of marble. He took a drink of his diet soda and struggled to remember.

Despite it all, the great unwashed did a standing O and then executed a near flawless wave. Tens of them.

As I write this, a private jet lands on some tarmac in Alaska accompanied by the theme music from Top Gun. Top Gun? Sheezus. Seriously, it’s live on CNN.

By the way, She’ll be relying on a teleprompter to address her home crowd. So far, they’re not willing to let her work without a full body condom. What does that tell you?

Empty boilerplate rhetoric, POW regurgitation and talk of a tough “maverick” delivered in a breathless rush from a cheerleader running for student body vice president with the crutch of a teleprompter. Fuck me.

A heartbeat from the Presidency. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Seriously America, work with me here. It’s about the top of the ticket until the top of one of the tickets could die at any moment and his chosen successor sucks donkey dick.

Did I say that or think it?

Enough!

Drinks for my friends.

I didn’t properly introduce you to J after posting his first contribution. I’ve been reading this guy for over a year and he is consistently accurate, truthful and possesses the rare ability see the forest instead of the trees individual. He’s a gifted writer and an honest analyst. I’m proud to post his work. You rock J.

What is the difference between McCain/Palin and a Lobbyist? Lipstick! UPDATE FINAL
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) and Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) write today in the Wall Street Journal that the “bailout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac is another outrageous, but sadly necessary, step for these two institutions.” They pledge to end the use of “taxpayer backing to serve lobbyists, management, boards and shareholders” and call lobbyists “primary contributors” to the crisis:

We will make sure that they are permanently restructured and downsized, and no longer use taxpayer backing to serve lobbyists, management, boards and shareholders. […]

[The federal bailout] terminates future lobbying, which was one of the primary contributors to this great debacle.

The feigned outrage of McCain and Palin at the inaction of Congress and the influence of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac lobbyists is ironic considering the fact that “at least 20 McCain fundraisers have lobbied on behalf of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac” in recent years.

More troubling is the fact that McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, “served as president of an advocacy group led by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac” that worked to cripple regulatory initiatives in Congress because the two institutions feared that “Congressional meddling would lower their healthy profits.” As the Politico reported in July:

Davis headed the Homeownership Alliance, a lobbying association that included Fannie, Freddie, nonprofit groups, real estate agents, homebuilders and consumer advocates. … [The group] worked to oppose congressional efforts to tighten controls on Fannie and Freddie.

In July 2003 for example, Davis “wrote to the American Banker, taking issue with an opinion piece…arguing that Fannie and Freddie should operate with greater transparency.” Such transparency and greater regulatory controls might have averted the current crisis.

http://thinkprogress.org/2008/09/09/mccain-lobby-fannie-freddie/

Let me repeat that last paragraph for emphasis:

In July 2003 for example, Davis “wrote to the American Banker, taking issue with an opinion piece…arguing that Fannie and Freddie should operate with greater transparency.” Such transparency and greater regulatory controls might have averted the current crisis.

Now, for the J’s rules:

You can’t say you are against lobbyists when your campaign manager headed the group that lobbied to deregulate the very industry that just folded.

You can’t say “I told the Congress ‘thanks, but no thanks,’ on that Bridge to Nowhere.” When you campaigned for it, and kept the money anyway.

You can’t say “I put it on eBay.” implying the plane was sold on eBay, when you didn’t sell it on eBay and actually sold the plane to a campaign contributor for $300k less than the list price.

You can’t say you “fired the chef” when the chef is still a state employee and still cooks for your family.

You can’t say you took on big oil when you support more drilling and are opposed to investments in clean and renewable energy.

You can’t use windmills and solar panels in your commercials when you opposed legislation that would have supported wind and solar.

You can’t say you are a government reformer and are against government waste when you billed your state for 312 nights you stayed at your own home.

What is the difference between McCain/Palin and a Lobbyist? Lipstick!

ENOUGH!

J

UPDATE, More rules!

You can’t disparage Obama for putting in for “nearly $1 million for every working day” he spent in the Senate, when you actually out did him. Using the same formula as the McCain campaign, the calculation for Palin’s time in office is 447 days. According to the Anchorage Daily News, Palin’s administration has asked for a total of roughly $453 million. That’s not “nearly” that’s more than! I guess she wins!

Note, I guess Palin is one heck of a disparager, Judge Suddock, the judge in the divorce case of Palin’s sister repeatedly expressed concern about what he termed the Palin family’s “disparagement” of Wooten. “Disparaging will not be tolerated — it is a form of child abuse,” Suddock said at one hearing, adding, “Relatives cannot disparage either. If occurs [sic] the parent needs to set boundaries for their relatives.” Hosenball reports that Suddock even considered restricting Palin’s sister’s custody rights regarding her children because of this disparagement.

You can’t call for “reducing government spending and getting rid of failed programs,” but never cite a single program to eliminate or reduce.

You can’t use 911 as a political ploy at your convention, when seven years later there is still a mammoth, gaping hole at Ground Zero.

You can’t claim your opponent did something wrong by turning down public financing when you broke the public finance rules and had your twin Bush replace the FEC chairman when he called you on it.

You can’t use Alan Keyes, Tucker Carlson, and Michelle Malkin for your attack adds on education, well, you just can’t do it!

You can’t claim that your opponent will raise taxes on the poor and middle class when both, your opponent won’t do that, and you will do nothing for them yourself.

A Video for your entertainment:

Sorry kids, I gotta figure out this link thing -admin.

FINAL UPDATE:

Torie Clarke, a former McCain adviser, wrote a book called, “Lipstick on a Pig: Winning In the No-Spin Era by Someone Who Knows the Game. Hmmmm 😉