Archive for June, 2010

Yesterday the Republicans, via threat of filibuster ad nauseam, blocked the extension of unemployment benefits as well as medicare monies to some 1.2 million Americans for the eighth consecutive time in the senate.  People for whom, time has run out.  For reasons deeper than simple obstructionism.  Not for mere pettiness, or the only reason being to oppose a President who actually won the election without the chronic malfeasance that accompanied the previous two presidential elections.  Yep, I own and still assert, that they cheated like dirty bastards in the last two.  First in Florida and then in Ohio and we have not yet begun to suffer that chicanery.

But no.  Not for that alone.  But I bet they like that part.  I bet they do.

They mercilessly withheld relief from Americans unable to find a job for six months or more because there is barely a middle class job left in this country as result of their prolific and prodigious efforts.  I know this to be true firsthand.  Nevermind that it represents the most efficacious cost to benefit ratio of any stimulus money we could ever spend.  The money spent goes right back into the system and when those people actually have a job, the deficit will cease to grow and start to shrink.  For hundreds of years the middle class American has been the moral, ethical and economic center of gravity and therefore power in this country and that is precisely why so many Republicans have fought for and cheered it’s atrophy.

When I was growing up, the middle class may not have dictated the national agenda but it damn sure brought force to bear.

Them days are behind us.

Remember when Kanye said “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”?  He was right. He’s a bit of an ass, but he was right.  I would posit that what is an even more truthful petard is that Republicans don’t give a mad fuck about anybody that isn’t rich.

Ask yourself this:  Why would the alleged deficit hawks object so stridently to extending unemployment benefits at a cost of some $30 billion or so as opposed the literally trillions it would cost to extend the stupid fucking tax cuts to the wealthiest among us?

Let’s talk about the Republicans shall we?

There exists not a single doubt in my mind that the the obstructionist game they play is hell bent to squash a barely recovering economy, despite the desperation of the people they were elected to protect, so as to be able to blame a sick state of affairs on Democrats in general and the Head Nigger in charge in particular.  That’s right, I said it, they hate him for his liberalness and that varies, but they hate that he’s black, and that’s consistent.  It’s a completely plausible explanation for the vitriol and vehemence.  They just can’t stand that a black man was legitimately elected.  The racism that I’d hoped was over by now that I’m aging a bit, is still white hot and raging among the cross eyed, round headed, inarticulate Louie Gohmert style fucks.  I single that little prick out because he had the shameless audacity to compare America’s current president to Hitler on the house floor.  That little fucker from Texas needs to be fitted for a special helmet and given a pass for the short bus.

I’m sick of this shit.

Yes, let’s talk about the fucking Republicans.

Orrin Hatch seeking to amend the bill he had no intention of voting for under any circumstances, to include mandatory drug testing for benefit recipients.  Jon Kyl supposes that unemployment benefits  are a disincentive to actually work for a living.  Dean Heller says out loud that it will bring back hobos.  It goes on and on.  Insensitive, out of touch Republicans kicking once hard working Americans, once with a modicum of pride, while they’re down and just about out.

Meanwhile, they eat their own.

They indoctrinate, persuade and pervade the very people who support them with such bullshit, myopically singular issues, that are so frustratingly irrelevant, inane and beyond anything germane.  Guns and socialism, for example.  I’m confident that less than ten percent of assault rifle owners can even define the term socialism, yet I guarantee they adamantly believe it’s the socialists that want to take their guns away. The Arpaios, DeMints, McCains, Pauls, Bachmanns, Palins, and Rubios, who so actively foment disdain and mistrust of minorities and those of a different sexual orientation, seek merely to to distract their own followers from anything resembling salient.  From simple lexicon to entire culture, the whole construct is morally, ethically and intellectually bereft.

And it’s fucking sick, disturbing and disgusting.

To wit:

All of the sudden they’re fiscally conservative.   It happened when we began to actually count the wars and unfunded mandates and stuff.  You know, count them in the budget.  Um, on the books.  Dumbya had a party, passed out and puked everywhere minutes before he was due to leave forever on Marine One…….. no attempt to clean up even the most cosmetic of issues.  Wouldn’t have done any good.

So our man Obama is in the throes of inhaling a giant, inelegant platter of steaming, vaporous crap.

Bless him.  I mean that generically, but still very sincerely.

He did grab a big ugly bull by the horns to start, but this bull he’s got a hold of is more than what came out the gate.  He may have thought he knew what he was getting into.  As smart as this guy so obviously is, I wonder.  Seriously, how smart can you be and still want this gig?  They always talk about his balls, metaphorically, as in his courage, you know.  I love it when they do that.  To raise the issue is first hand testimony for extraordinary ignorance.  He’s white but he’s black.  They didn’t believe he was a citizen from the beginning.  His middle name is Hussein and nobody can help but embrace the irony there.  He has giant ears.  Of course he has balls.

And they’re fucking racists.

Anybody want to take exception to that?  I realize it’s a big bad thing to say.  I am fully prepared to support it.  Bring it.  I can’t wait.

That last sentence will bring the crazies and I can’t wait.

The moral majority is neither.  I got that from MAD Magazine when I was twelve.

Drinks for my friends.

The Republicans just can’t help it. Tone deaf arrogance. I am in awe. They appear unable to help themselves, despite themselves, in spite of themselves, because of themselves.

This time, they’ve outdone themselves and just may undo themselves.

Oh, the humanity……gorgeously profane, grandiose and so profoundly disgusting.  They would have you believe that BP has been subjected to a “shakedown”, the result of “Chicago Style Politics”, fomented and engendered by the Obama administration.  This after delivering to us the greatest man made environmental disaster in the history of this country.  The truth is, that $20 billion goes to the people of the region, and they deserve it.  Generations of industry that will never, ever recover.  EVER.  People sickened as far away as Atlanta from the mere fumes.  That $20 billion ain’t shit.  There better be more.

But picture the pelicans, festooned with crude, unable to fly or swim, shaking, confused and about to die because they can’t even breathe.  The whales being exploded, literally by our military, because they are too massive to remove.  The dolphins dead, eyes staring at nothing, coated in BP’s filthy treasure.  The turtles being burned alive.  Simply because BP cut corners to massage profits.  The fourth most profitable company in human history and the Rand Pauls and Michele Bachmanns would have you believe our administration is bullying them over their responsibility, their culpability.

Who the fuck are these sociopathic idiots?

They step on their own dicks like the drunken, moneyed fools they so obviously are.

I feel like puking.  I hate them.

It just might bear out that the only lining to even glisten in the aftermath of this outrageous environmental, ecological and economic event horizon, is the stumble fuck reveal of true colors, flown like a freak flag with unmitigated insouciance by a fair number of Republican fucktards.  Staining the entire party much to my chagrin.  And glee.

It really is egregious enough that goofcocks like Limbaugh, the Human Shitsmear and Hannity, so willingly pontificate in defense of asshole corporate entities like BP.  It is an entirely different matter that elected representatives like Michele Bachmann, Rand Paul, Haley Barbour, John “Agent Orange” Boehner”, Joe Barton, Mike Pence, Price, King……. choose to stick an already sticky foot in such overt shit.  And then of course, much to my perverse and guilty amusement, right in their giant cake hole maws.

Where do we put “drill baby drill” Sarah Palin in all this?  We place her as stupid and two dimensional as ever.  Flick her with you finger to discover she disappears from the side view.  She is expert at nothing.  “That woman is an idiot.” -Keith Olbermann

Should these glaringly true colors prove insufficient enough to hobble the Republican party as a whole……..well then, America embraces stupid is as stupid does at least enough to deserve exactly what she gets.  We reap what we sow.  This is exactly a cautionary tale.  Pay attention.  Herein lies the fundamental difference between Republicans and Democrats, between evil avarice and ordinary Americans.

Democrats can be real shits, but not this brand of obtuse fuckery.

Forgive me, but it’s obvious.  They, BP, knew the disaster they were flirting with. They knew.  What we already know proves it.  11 dead men and a culture of corruption that boggles.  I’m confident what we don’t know is beyond any pale.  Tony Hayward along with Goldman Sachs dumped millions of dollars of stock days beforehand.  There’s not a doubt in my mind.  They owned the scale and scope of this prodigious clusterfuck with which they so willingly danced.  How any elected American representative would choose to join such a carcinogenic waltz after the fact baffles me.  It is Intellectual Incontinence.  By that I mean Shit For Brains.

Anybody heard from that prick bastard Cheney by the way?

I hate to love to tell you that the so much of the much anticipated prevail of the Republicans in the midterms may not transpire.  It may fail to bear fruit as a direct result of their own chronic myopia.  I adore the irony.  They visit this disservice upon themselves for once by virtue of laying naked what they actually believe.  What they really think.  What they consider is not human life or wild life.  What they consider is where the money comes from for their re-election, and that is all.  Instead of lying like amateur adolescents, they just might have screwed the pooch by telling the truth as they understand it.  Revealing their abject fucktardedness.  I adore it.

This is very bad, so fuck them.

And this just in:  Today some federal judge in Louisiana ruled against the Obama administration’s six month moratorium to halt deep water drilling until it can be figured out what the hell went wrong, how to prevent it and what to do should it go so catastrophically wrong again.  Big oil was pleased despite what another similar disaster would do to their industry.  Despite what it would do to the people, the economy and whatever ecosystem it might and most probably will occur in again.

I believe this judge needs a bath in The Gulf of Mexico.

This is regoddamndiculous.

What we absolutely must understand, is that this is not by any means a worse case scenario.  As ugly and vulgar as this is, we ain’t seen nothing yet.

“The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.”  -Dr Evil.

Drinks for my friends.

Of the debatable catharsis of yesterday:

Joe Barton was just lending voice to what the majority of Republicans actually believe. They don’t give a mad fuck about their constituents, what consumes them is the filthy lucre that will likely be missing from their campaign coffers via the fourth largest corporation in the history of humankind come this November.  Listen to the Human Shitsmear Limbaugh, puke this rhetoric everyday.  He does so because he understands that the money is the key to Republican survival and therefore his relevancy.  It’s where they are all getting it.  It may surprise you to know I listen to him.  Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

It’s not unlike flossing my ass with barbed wire.

I will throat punch that toad if I ever pass him on the street.  I fucking loath that hypocritical prick.  I loathe bugs.

That slow eyed Michele Bachmann and the Batman to her Robin, the ignorant slut Sarah Palin, wasted no time climbing aboard the plutocracy express in defending big oil.  Man I hope they run for the big house, er the White House.  It really is all I want for Christmas, for either or both to continue their many splendored attempts to fail up.  Bring it you bitches.

It is, without a doubt, unconscionable and disturbing that anyone could defend BP at this stage of the game.  We now know enough to understand that they were and are willfully negligent and extraordinarily, spectacularly culpable as well as criminally inept.  Did you hear that CEO Tony Hayward as well as Goldman Sachs dumped tens of millions of BP stock just days before the rig erupted?  Yep, I’m here to tell you they knew.  You know the ocean floor, the earth’s very crust, is leaking from hell to breakfast.  You knew that right?

Yep, that just in.

This nightmare just might go on for years.  Until the entirety of the deposit is depleted.  Hundreds of millions, if not billions of gallons at as much as 70k psi.  Seventy thousand pounds of pressure per square inch.  We ain’t seen nothing yet.  Even if this thing were completely mitigated tomorrow, this fever dream will, and is going, to haunt us for decades.  DECADES.

Word has it that Tony Hayward is to be demoted.  I really can’t be bothered to care but I’m compelled to ask this question:  Just what the hell did people expect out of that dog and pony show live from congress yesterday?  Yep, BP are scumbags, but at what point could anyone anticipate him, while representing them, to give up a single goddamn thing that could possibly contribute to the potential for litigation which will surely arrive like villagers with burning fagots and pitchforks any second now?

What could possibly have come from it?

That whole vulgar burlesque was disgusting and not just for the answers Hayward failed to provide but ever more for the chest thumping, grandstanding, fist pumping, insincere, self righteous bloviating of our elected officials.  They already know BP is guilty as fuck and sure as hell understand nobody from that company is going to supply a single shred of information that could possibly indicate anything remotely resembling as much.  So they played Limey as Pinata for the spectacle.  For our alleged edification.  Disgusting and counterproductive.  A sleazy, hangover film on your teeth, waste of time.

I’m a realist and as disgusting as it was, I give the miserable bastard credit; he was cucumber cool and didn’t betray a goddamn thing.  I wouldn’t demote him if he worked for me, that’s for damn sure.  I’m sorry, but I was impressed.  He did his goddamn job.  Executed with aplomb.

A caveat for the stupid among you; yes, he still sucks.

I believe our executive branch intends to prosecute and pursue BP’s fiscal responsibility with all due diligence.  Even if they lacked the desire, the impetus burns like a well on fire in the desert right up their asses.  I’m also confident that at this point, BP, as well as our government, desires this furious volcano of environmental carcinogen stopped just as badly as the people who occupy and subsist of the region being diseased.  For the exact same reason.

We really are all on the same page here.

So enough with the circus.  Let’s get on with the show.  This kind of crap is merely a distraction.

We need truth and action.  Mobilization, American hands on innovation on the scale of a run up to engage in and prevail in a world war.  Now.  Yesterday.  I think it’s time to roll.

Drinks for my friends.

A manifesto of sorts.  How to solve our own ugly, seemingly insurmountable problems as a nation and perhaps do as much for the rest of the world at the same time.  I’m quite cognizant of how ambitious it may sound, yet things, answers, need not always be so convoluted.  Simple answers for stupid questions indeed.  I kicked this around for a few days with the object being what exactly would I do If I could.  Turned out to be reasonably simple.  Let us, shall we?

In the particular order of urgency.

1) Get the fuck out of the Middle East.  We have consistently and maddeningly failed to effect change for the better there for decades at enormous expense in money and lives.  “Blood and treasure”, the nomenclature neocons and hawks are  so very fond of.  Walk away from Israel, pull completely out of Iraq, Afghanistan and leave Iran the hell alone (they just aren’t a credible threat to us).  Let Iran and Israel diddle themselves, posture and puff and fuck with each other until the cows come home.  If one turns the other’s sand into glass, so be it.  Might just have been an inevitable conclusion anyway.  I’m sick and tired of discrimination and ideology rooted in such archaic concepts as religion.  My God can beat up your God is so nineteenth century.  Our involvement has historically forced a bad situation to flirt with a heavy petting, worse case scenario.  See above.  We’ll fuck it up long before we solve it.

We give more foreign aid money to Israel than we do to every other nation on the planet combined.  Why?  Why do we do that?  They aren’t starving.  They aren’t plagued by disease.  We give them money to kill people.  That’s what they do with it.  They bully and discriminate and kill with your money.  My money.

They are assholes.  Oppressors.  And so are we.  We had no reason to go into Iraq. Tell me different and we’ll play spot the right wing retard.  There is no longer any reason for our involvement in Afghanistan.  There may have been at one time, but that didn’t bear fruit, did it?  Dick-in-Bush dropped the ball spectacularly.  We can’t even say whether Bin Laden is still alive.  We sure as hell can’t say with a straight face that he was behind 9/11.  Now we spend our “blood and treasure” kicking one hornet’s nest after another, making no progress and galvanizing an entire generation to oppose us with no real fear of death.

Things are great, couldn’t be better.  Better……start this again.

Upside, being we’d save about ten billion a month.  We’d stop pissing in the ears, the mouths and up the noses of people who don’t deserve any such thing and be able to afford health care for every man, woman and child in this country.  Education?  Infrastructure?  Walk in the park.  All of the sudden, plenty of money.  See how easy this is already?  Israel would be forced to walk back it’s incendiary dickheadedness and perhaps concede a little humility in the spirit of humanity.  Agree to talk to and treat Palestinians like human beings as opposed to say, cattle to be loaded onto boxcars to be gassed.

I’m no anti-semite but unchecked Zionism is indistinguishable from apartheid.  Israel can piss up a rope, at least until she learns some table manners.  They just don’t deserve a seat at the grownup table.

Moving right along……..

2)Alternative energy like yesterday.  This includes hemp production, the most viable replacement for ALL products petroleum, not just energy.  Plastics, textiles, lubricants, even concrete.  No pesticides, renewable every sixteen weeks or so……not deleterious to to topsoil.  Foodstuffs even, high in protein and anti oxidants.  Strongest natural fiber known to man.  Makes Cotton look Fisher Price.  And of course, solar, wind, tide……the goddamn sun, it’s all there and don’t you try tell me it’s not technologically or monetarily feasible.  It is, and has been for years.  IT IS ALL THERE.  All that is missing is the education and subsequent will of the people.

We could walk away from fossil fuels almost completely in a handful of years.  With plants that ingest carbon and produce oxygen and passive systems that don’t pollute.  Imagine.  It really is this easy.  Really.

3) REAL campaign finance reform.  Publicly funded elections and I mean exclusively publicly funded..  Each candidate has exactly the same amount of money to spend provided by we the people.  Equal airtime, no private contributions and corporations expressly and legally forbade from any participation at all, not the least of which is monetary.  Big energy, big pharma and big money and all the rest barred from the process forever.  This really is our best hope.  It is our singular hope.  It will never happen and so, things will never change.  I remind you thus, lest you think me naive.

Any church that even attempts to proselytize political, will pay taxes on every single goddamn dime placed in the collection plate until they prove they’ve grown up and left the game of jingoistic, hypocritical moralizing behind.  Organized religion has never done more good than harm.  I fucking hate churches and their obviously undeserved tax exempt status, yet blatant and bold fuckery.

4)  Abolish all drug prohibition.  The most lucrative legal cash crop in California is citrus, clocking in at aprox. $1.5 billion a year.  Marijuana by contrast is around $17 billion a year.  In California alone bitches.  We incarcerate more people per capita in this country than ANY nation on earth, the majority being non-violent drug offenders.  People can and will abuse substances whether legal or not.  It’s analogous to preaching abstinence only to teenagers.  To do so is pissing in the wind of millions of years of instinct to procreate.  Mankind has sought to self medicate since we first crawled out of the soup and discovered the coca plant which eventually begat the bong and then the crack pipe.  The war on drugs is an abject and embarrassing failure and a massive financial rabbit hole.  They’re not criminals when they begin their institutionalization but they sure as fuck are by the time they hit the streets their first time out.  Therefore and hence, the majority of “offenders” will return to the institutions.  There is no such thing as rehabilitation in the United States prison system.  The default has long since become recidivism.

Addicts will be addicts whether their poison is legal, sanctioned, or not.

Tax it.  Regulate it.  Stand a far a better chance of keeping it out of the hands of children.

5) End the grip of the military industrial complex.  America is actually wealthy as all get out.  We crap cash. We swim in the filthy lucre.  The largest industry in the world is the ability to manifest death.  We as country spend nearly half of every dollar spent on just that.  Talk about a nation dedicated to war.  Ten times the expenditure of our nearest competitor; that would be China, who by the way, has four or five times our population and they’re doing a hell of a lot better than us thank you very much.  They practically own us for fucks sake but they aren’t dancing in the streets because we’re barely worth shit anymore and they’re stuck with us.  We have become the turd in their punchbowl.

We’ve never really been a democracy, at best, we may have been able to define ourselves as a republic, I’ll settle for that.  I cannot bear that what we are and have been for some time is a plutocracy that insists on making nice with a backward ass “Christian” theocracy.  The reason the corporations adore the religious zealots so is because they are so pliable.  So easily manipulated into acting counter to their own interests.  I want to throw fossils at creationists like Lewis Black.  I can’t stand them.  On one hand, you know, whatever gets you through the night, on the other, you really must be fucking kidding me.

6) Suspend whatever broadcast license Fox News, Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck et al. hold that enables them to perpetuate such profligate, heinous, insidious, inflammatory bullshit.  They’re welcome to their opinions, interpretations even, but abject lies on the public airwaves will henceforth not be tolerated.  Dan Rather got fired, so did Bill Maher.  Helen Thomas resigns in shame but these assholes still have access to American living rooms every goddamn day where they vomit the most toxic, vile effluvium with gleeful and wanton disingenuousness.  Fuck that shit.  Free speech is not a license to lie over and over and over again.

The answers are simple, the Devil is in the implementation.  All these things are interdependent of and on each other.  No single item can be completely efficacious without a congruent and concerted enactment of the others.  I understand this.  Yet what I’m proposing here is so gorgeously simple.  Such a clear path toward most of us being able to get on with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…….. I couldn’t resist sharing my grandiose little pipe dream with the rest of you.

Drinks for my friends.

I’m somewhat loathe to take this on.

Again.

I’ve already written about it once and fairly well forecasted what wicked this way came if I do say so myself.

Just over the edge.

And it’s not like everyone one else hasn’t been piling on. What’s the use unless I have something new to say, some new devilry to contribute?

I will tell you this and thus reiterate: it is way worse than the media dares to speculate and far more widespread and destructive than you imagine.  This shit is fucked up.

I am a little surprised at just what a vulgar carnival it has devolved into.  As if the tragedy itself does not merit our horror enough, the politicization thereof inspires Grand mal projectile vomiting.  Partisan pricks screeching that the President hasn’t done enough.  Of such pinheads I would merely ask what more would you have him do?  What different?  He was on the scene from the very beginning, long before the obfuscation by BP began to suffer the antiseptic of both sunlight and science.  Understand that this is in no way his fault despite it being most definitely his problem.

Anyone with more than a clump of toxic crude  for an intellect is by now well aware that comprehensive culpability is the exclusive purview of BP, Halliburton, Transocean, Darth Fucking Cheney and the various virtues of avarice.  This, despite shrill exhortations of porcine pundits like Palin, and Limbaugh, that the fault somehow lies with the environmentalists for forcing dangerous oil extraction further off shore.  “Drill bay drill”, you stupid fucking cunts.

Heard this one the other day:  Only an idiot can perceive another idiot as genius.

I’m willing to wager that lipsticked pig Palin fails to realize that any or all domestic oil production does not somehow magically stay within our borders for our exclusive consumption.  No, it goes on the open market to the highest bidder.  Nor would she admit that Deepwater Horizon padded it’s possibilities for production with the same bogus ecological impact studies submitted to her state of Alaska.  They cheated from their very own homework.  I’m not here to write a term paper but understand that the paperwork BP submitted for that very well in the Gulf of Mexico references remedies they would undertake were the walrus population threatened.  Walruses?  In the Gulf of goddamn Mexico?  They would have promised to protect penguins too if they thought it would help their chances.

As I predicted, BP has lied to us with simultaneous shamelessness and fierce diligence.  They lied that there was a leak to begin with.  They lied about the flow, it’s rate, it’s hideous volume.  They lied about the vast underwater plumes.  They lied about the safety, efficacy and consequences of the dispersants they insisted upon using.  They lied about having a fucking clue what to do.  They lied about who’s fault it was and what actually happened.  They’ve manipulated the media, restricted access to fouled beaches and even engaged in search engine fuckery in a blatant attempt to sensor the extent of the worst man made disaster since Chernobyl.

True to form, assholes like Eric Cantor take to the air whining about the counter productivity of Obama making BP into a villain.  He actually lamented Obama’s endeavor to find the right “ass to kick”.  Took issue with the profanity.  That Tea Party jackass Rand Paul has the the stones to posit that it’s “Un-American” for Obama to say he intends to keep his boot on the neck of BP. Boehner, or Representative Agent Orange, had the retarded audacity to side with US Chamber of commerce when it posited that the liability cap of a paltry $75 million not be lifted retroactively.  “I think the people responsible in the oil spill — BP and the federal government — should take full responsibility for what’s happening there,” Boehner croaked.

What a couple of dicks.

This brings us to Bobby Jindal, the once rising star, the great other skin color hope of the Republican party.  No, not Michael Steele.  Bobby “I hate big government so much I’ll decry and pretend to deny federal stimulus money until I take it and ask for more” Jindal.   Now the little bastard is out of the closet all the way.  Pontificating ad nauseum in public like a chronic masturbator with demands on the federal government and the Obama administration and how the money and the resources aren’t nearly enough.

You know what chaps my ass?  His stock is rising.  His second act in American politics is in full swing as a result of overt politicization of this staggering clusterfuck of a disaster.  Oh, and they’re all pissing and moaning about Obama’s moratoriums on deep water drilling.

To all of them I say:  There may not be an “I” in Team, but there are three “U”s in Shut The Fuck Up.

I saw a clip on Comedy Central today where my hero Lewis Black said something like just because Dumbya is no longer president doesn’t mean idiocy fled the country.  It’s like whack-a-mole he said, you get rid of one and three more pop up.  He also said that the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico means there won’t be any shrimp for your shrimp cocktails you jackasses!  I loves me some Lewis, he likes to throw fossils at creationists.

I love the levity but here’s some gravity.  Barack Obama may just, might could, enjoy a unique opportunity here.  Whence upon a time, the dust will settle, the chattering, nattering class will have shut up and the brackish blackness  from the mesozoic will finally cease to flow from depths to shores, polluting everything in it’s path.  It will come time to mitigate and metamorphose this most heinous of episodes into gorgeous things.  Good things.  Golden things.  This could very well be the catalyst for the best ghost of our human future.  Mr. Obama may just be able to lean on it as an abject example, a final lesson, of greed and recklessness and harness it to steer us in the right direction.

Energy, after all, could and should be free.  Our entire world has been powered by the sun which begat the wind and the waves long before we ever emerged from the primordial soup, tails dragging.  Without the Sun, there would be no oil.  Technology has advanced significantly enough for us to abandon this archaic, insidious and poisonous methodology and embrace the Sun, literally the star of our solar system, in it’s stead.

It’s no secret.  Any scientist or physicist would concur; that awesome, perpetually exploding ball, some 93 million miles away in the sky, is all we really need.  All we ever have needed.  It’s the reason we are here.  It really is that simple.

Children of the sun.

It’s time.  We put a man on the moon with a hundredth of the computing power now available in any given laptop and even some cell phones.

This is big picture stuff and he is a big picture guy.

C’mon Barry.  You can do this.

Drinks for my friends.

I’ve avoided wading in on this issue for far too long. I feared not being as well informed as should be.  Could be.

I understand the differences between Israel and Palestine are historied.  Protracted.

I will tell you now that I no longer care.  I believe I know enough.  I understand I’ve seen enough.

I’ve had enough.

It’s absurd.

I honestly couldn’t give a mad fuck regarding Biblical or scriptural precedent.  I don’t care.  Religion is the root of all evil as easily as is money, so why would I deign to defer to it of all things?  I despise organized religion and racism and bigotry and class warfare…….to me they are all the same save for a different mask on any given holiday.

I’m not sure Palestine is right but I know Israel to be egregiously wrong.  Where Palestine is able to muster a a baseball bat, Israel sends warplanes loaded with death.

A ship from Israel’s only albeit tenuous ally, Turkey……..again the only reluctant ally in the entire hemisphere besides us, which Israel knows and understands to be loaded with humanitarian supplies, absent weapons but present medical supplies, food etc.  Israel attacks, yes storms with weapons and overt aggression, in international waters and thus in clear violation of international law, common sense and essential human compassion because Israel understands said flotilla has activists aboard.  Not terrorists, activists.  Unarmed people who loath their bullshit.  People who choose to risk their very lives because Israel can’t stop being the world’s biggest asshole by getting away with practicing and implementing the sickest version of xenophobic apartheid this side of South Africa because my country, the United States of America, gives more money to Israel, than it does collectively to every other far more deserving nation on the planet combined.

That’s retarded.  Fucktardian.

See, in my eyes, this makes Israel as a country, as a cause, as a legitimate player on the world stage, as an entity striving for recognition and relevance, NONE OF THE ABOVE.  You, Israel as a nation, are an asshole.  You suck.  Your consistent arrogance, your unchecked and unmitigated violence directed at your Arab neighbors provides those of us with compassion and objectivity with no other choice but to see you as a bunch of violent dickheads with an unfounded sense of entitlement.

Just who the fuck do you think you are?

There are many in America and even more worldwide that understand the possibility of peace in your neck of the the woods is an impossibility because of you and your actions and because of your extraordinarily obtuse existence.  Israel fucking sucks and so does America for our blind support.  Your country wouldn’t be worth a shit without our money and I for one am sick and tired of funding your egregious, morally and ethically blind bullshit.  I would love to see you operate in the theater you occupy without our money.  My money.

Israel would not last a day without our tax dollars.  And really, why should it?  I’m not endorsing their destruction.  Really, I’m not.  I’m merely suggesting that they man up and figure out what life is like without Uncle Sam allowing for them to be punk ass bullies.  Empty shiny bitches.  Prima donnas.

I’m pretty happy with our President, but if I could demand one single thing from him, I would demand that we stop giving Israel a single dime and instead redirect those funds toward impoverished nation states that could actually use it to feed and care for people.  As opposed to you know, imprisoning and killing them.

For the record, if you bring anti-semitism into this dialog, you’ve missed the point.  Over your head.  Stand up and it just might hit you.  My problem is with unchecked Zionism.

See, I can’t help but think our platonic embrace of all things Israeli contributes to the precipitous rise in our own incidents of domestic terrorism.  For example.

Hypocrisy = Lying and Stealing and our tax money propping up a system of dirty bastards is exactly that.

What set me off was the persecution of one of America’s last great and brave journalists: Helen Thomas.

Helen Thomas is an institution unto herself. I adore her and don’t see a damn thing wrong with what she said. She is an Icon and deserves to be. It always frustrates me when honest intelligent people are forced into a bullshit Mea Culpa because of something uttered in completely justified anger.

For the record, here is exactly, and I mean exactly, what she said.

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Michael

Michael Douglass

Last Updated: 3/10/2010

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Pfffft
Current mood:Ponderous
Category: Quiz/Survey
1.
how are you?

I Meant to tell you, I’m tragically afraid of grasshoppers.

2.
who was the last person you hugged?

A man with large biceps that laid carpet for a living. I barely avoided arrest.

3.
look to your left, what do you see?

A full busted woman named Maximillian

4.
where do you like to be the most?

On a bidet, as long as the water is warm

5.
whats your fave film?

Kodak, or that film on your teeth that accompanies a scorching hangover.

6.
what does the last person you commented on myspace mean to you?

A roll of quarters.

7.
what did you last laugh about?

Tater Tots. It was a gleeful chuckle. Ketchup and salt bitch. Pine tree shaped air fresheners. Canned fruit. Men with stupid haircuts that eat lime Jello with mayonnaise and pineapple on top.

8.
where was your default took?

On top of Old Smokey, all covered with cheese.

9.
whats the first thing you look for in a girl/guy?

Boobs. Money. Sturdy boots and a walking stick. Modern appliances. A well stocked pantry. A fondness for liquor.

10.
if your still in school, whats your fave lesson?

Gravel management. Meatstick management. Really stupid shirt supervision.

11.
what do you work as / want to work as?

Kraft foods, Velveeta division.

12.
do you play video games? if so, which is your fave game?

Pong.

13.
who never fails to make you laugh?

Rod Blagojevich and Christians.

14.
what are you listening to right now?

The sigh of brainrot.

15.
who did you last have a sleepover with?

Licky the Carniverous Pony.

16.
i bet you miss someone, who?!

Pistol packin’ mamas.

17.
are you happy with your life right now?

I’ve never been closer to it sucking ass.

18.
why did you last get upset?

Salad. A lack thereof.

19.
who was the last person you texted?

Marcus Xavier Sasparilla. I like women with big asses.

20.
who do you live with?

Beddy & Swirly. They rock.

21.
do you like living with them?

Swirly poops on the bathroom floor and Beddy pisses indiscriminately. I adore them. I would kill for them.

22.
whats your mood right now on myspace?

Incendiary.

24.
did you realise that there was no 23?

Collapsible drinking cups. I prefer a ‘Z’ in my realize.

25.
what does your profile song mean to you?

Silence.

26.
who did you last shout at and why?

I just want a normal life with a nice place to live and sometimes I’m afraid that’s not going to happen because I turned 44 yesterday.

27.
It’s not normal to be any specific way.

Unless one is specifically and rigidly random.

28.
what was the last thing you went to see in the movies and with who?

I went “in the movies” to see a man about a horse. He wasn’t there. There was a wonderful concession stand. I tied a bandanna over my nose and held it up with a realistic looking water pistol. I fled the scene with pockets full of skittles, Junior Mints, and those neon colored sour worm things.

29.
whats your fave food?

I like buffets with lotsa rich cheesy food. Salad bars with good cherry tomatoes and various cheeses. Anything deep fried. Anything combining raspberries and dark chocolate. I like pasta with cheese. Mixed field greens with onions, tomatos, balamic viniagrette dressing and bleu or feta cheese. I like triple creme brie as a leave in hair conditioner. Sushi. Why doesn’t Asian food go well with cheese? I’m thinking albacore with cream cheese.

30.
are you in love?

I’m in incapacitated, intolerable, insatiable and intubated.

31.
do you remember how you was 3 years ago?

Yeah bro, how was you?

32.
if so, does it make you cringe?

Tit tattoos. Fat men in tutus. Ann Coulter. Rush Limbaugh. Dive bar toilets.

33.
if you could be with someone right now, who would it be?

Dumbya. I’d wouldn’t let him go until until I knew for certain just how dumb he is.

34.
do you have any blogs on your myspace?

I have no blogs on your myspace. Try brainspank.org.

35.
whats your fave thing in your room?

Four different kinds of pudding in four different corners.

36.
is this quiz boring you?

It’s pissing me the fuck off.

37.
if you had one wish, what would you wish for?

A mink toilet seat.

38.
when was the last time you lied?

I was offering a young girl candy to get in my van.

39.
are your lips chapped?

Ask the little girl.

40.
any last words?

My girlfriend stole my cheese. A bag of “quatro formaggio” from Trader Joe’s. She alleges she was justified in doing so because my refrigerator is in disrepair and I had no method to properly store my bag of many cheeses.

Weak.

Cheese needs no refrigeration. Any fool knows that.

Drinks for my friends.

Currently listening:
Bad Music for Bad People
By The Cramps
Release date: 1990-10-25

So Hunter, he of the plate of shrimp, leaves a youtube video of The Grateful Dead performing “St Stephen” for the beautiful people on Playboy After Dark, 1969.

Then:

Hunter Oswald

every time I go apathetic with them, the motherfuckers creep up and do something cool from the grave.

Michael Douglass

What can it it all mean? My personal punk rock hero……..scratch that, a personal Rock and Roll hero slash way too long lost pal…..is pimpin’ The Dead.

Right where I can see it.

Next he endorses giving senior men free viagra so they don’t roll out of bed. … See More

I’ve got two chapters on that record we did with Dave and you boys. I must know what you thought of it then and what you think of it now before I can finish this part.

It’s been a long time coming, this part.

I kinda want you to write part of the story. Go with it. If not, give me some quotes. Do you mind what I’m asking you? Are your testes withered Caucasian white grape raisins?

I went off the paxil. My dreams are crazy, vivid, and now very elaborate but so convoluted. I get stiff when it blows outside. I’m a little emotional. That’s it so far. I was on it for four or five years.

Bring it.
I’m not kidding.
Kick Start My Heart
(yanks own front tooth with a simple bottle opener)

No really.
Write me something. This is a good idea.

bitch

Drinks for my friends.

Holidays and long weekends have long since ceased to mean anything to me, I haven’t worked a regular nine to five gig since the 80’s.

Today we were compelled or at least expected, to remember the fallen.  The warriors.  The men and women most certainly courageous, who ultimately gave their lives for our way of life.  The freedom we enjoy.  The liberty we covet.    No euphoric sentimentalism here.  I’m grateful.  It’s huge.  I think about all those brave souls who answered the call.  Americans who willingly walked face first, head up, into a shitstorm far worse than they had the capacity to imagine.  I think about those that gave their lives as well as those that were horribly wounded, disfigured, limbs lost and/or often as not, the ability to think clearly or ever have a moments peace, gone forever until they are perhaps gratefully allowed to shuffle from beneath their own mortal coil.

I have an uncle, a big sweet friendly man, who served in Viet Nam.  He has never said a word.  He is, without a doubt, troubled.  Damaged.  All I or any of us know, is that he lost his best friend within days of setting foot.  He’s a good man.  He wrestles with it in private.  He drinks too much.  Often from morning to night.  Not one of his ten siblings has ever really interfered, they understand that they can’t understand.

War is easily the most egregious and too often unnecessary sin humankind seems determined to commit with an insane and senseless prolificacy.  An absolutely maddening consistency.   We kill and we die over and over and over and more often than not for no goddamn reason, good or otherwise.  It’s sick.  It is disgusting.

But, I digress.

I’m so very tempted to pontificate here until the sun rises on the day after this holiday.  I could.  I would.  Look at the shit Israel pulled today.  But it really is beside the point.

The point I want to make is this:  America has not participated in a justifiable war since World War II.  Yet as a country, we spend nearly half what the entire world does on the mechanisms and utility to make war, to bring death.  Over half of every dollar you pay in taxes, particularly if your a member of the vanishing middle class or ever burgeoning working poor, is directed toward America’s ability to kill entire populations, to destroy whole societies.  We spend more than ten times our nearest competitor (China) for just that vulgar and ignoble privilege.

We are badass.  Don’t fuck with us.  We’ll visit carnage and destruction on you like the rest of the world will never, ever, even be allowed to see.

We are the richest country in the history of humankind and to this profound ugliness, we commit ourselves daily, hourly, whether we like it or not.  We don’t provide health care for our people.  The only civilized nation that seems unable but is ultimately unwilling to do so.  Our children have not had the benefit of a competitive education for decades and the population of homeless on our streets grows ever more prodigious.  We give more financial and military aid to those irresponsible assholes in Israel than we do every other country on the planet combined.  We incarcerate more people per capita than any other state or nation on earth.

Whenever any individual claims the temerity, the audacity to challenge and point out the absurdity of such, that person is shouted down with vehement, nonsensical jingoism and ignorant bigotry.  Labeled socialist in a shameless plutocracy.  Only in America could we have a viable movement, an actual albeit self described party, for which just such a thing is their pride and purpose.  Willful, fucktardian ignorance.  Teabaggers and their complicit Republican sycophants.  The tail is beginning to wag that dog.

The stinging irony being, it’s only our largess that allows for it at all.  This level of ridiculous fuckery could never exist in the vacuum of abject poverty……….so what happens when it lands our entire population right there?

“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.” –MLK

“In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.” –Dwight D. Eisenhower

I sincerely hope you had a happy and peaceful Memorial Holiday.  I really do mean that.

Drinks for my friends.