A vagina on a woman is a powerful thing. On a man, it’s nothing more than a deficit.
On the other hand, I admit Johnny Depp is a lovely man. Most women would hit that.
I went door to door for a while.. It was humiliating.
That was then and this is now. Some days I wish I would be hit by a bus. Most days, I’ve no idea what to to do other than what I’m doing. What I do is take sales jobs where I’m promised that if I don’t suck I’ll make decent money. I don’t suck. I’m actually pretty good, which is why I want to to kill myself. Everybody wants to rule the world except me.
I keep running into men with vaginas. They’ve actually lied to me to get me to work for them. It’s happened. It’s not exactly an employee’s market.
That leads us to Tim Pawlenty, Jon Huntsman and Sarah Bachmann. I mean Palin, er….Michelle. Vagina vs. vagina. I love it but I can’t stand it. I adore it but it horrifies me and cracks me the fuck up. Huntsman is well liked and respected but can’t possibly pull it off unless he walks back every position he’s taken in the last few years while actually working for the dark side. Get it? You know, the black guy.
Anyway, he’s got arguably less charisma than T-Paw which is significant in and of itself and neither of them can command the kind of attention the two milf barbies do when it comes to stages and cameras, balloons and circuses, dogs and ponies and all that. Palin won’t run but she’ll pretend to as long as she manages to matter. That ship has sailed. Her expiration date is already a past due. She’s done. She’ll still be around but will continue to matter less and less until she melts under her pointy black hat.
Vagina vs. vagina.
Palin is stupid, but just smart enough to avoid buying her own crap and Bachmann is batshit crazy enough to actually believe what she so vehemently pontificates. Michelle Bachmann is the real deal. Sarah Palin understands very well that she’s a joke even though she would never admit it, so Michelle Bachmann necessarily scares the maxi pad off a cunt like Palin. Cross Sarah off the list. She won’t run because she’s lazy and stupid and just sane enough to own it.
I hear she’s canceled her purposeless and directionless bus tour. Wow. Really sorry to hear that. I am profoundly nonplussed.
Does that sound disrespectful? I’m so sorry for the sandwich I’ve caused you.
So then, neither of them is as big a dick as Romney, who’s forced to flee like a scared little girl from his own biggest success, efficacious health care for all of Massachusetts of course. Wildly popular of course. Demonstrably similar to “Obama Care” of course. So the Republicans hate Romney because he’s a secret double probation liberal in a conservative, but lustrous and gleaming ice cream suit. I’m giddy that they hate Guy Smiley over what they imagine is his commie, pinko oblongata. He’s long out front but they hate his guts. He’s their only chance but he has none, whether it’s winning the nomination or the presidency.
And he’s a Mormon. They hate Mormons because they aren’t “Christian”.
These people are fucked up. In a time when most Americans think that homosexuals should be allowed to betroth, exchange vows and consummate, when most people understand that taxing the egregiously wealthy could and should mitigate our fiscal maladies while it won’t have any deleterious consequences for an already anemic job market, when most of us have come to understand that pounding the pride and money out of the middle class is a huge mistake, these assholes still cling to the rubric of obsolete cultural and social mores by waging war on shit we just don’t care about anymore.
Pile on to that, their relentlessly ridiculous insistence that a draconian fiscal austerity be imposed with an iron fist on the people in this country that least deserve it or have the most piddling ability to suffer it. All in the context of record corporate and Wall street profits.
They aren’t just stupid. They are willfully ignorant. Hollow brinksmanship.
It takes my breath away.
We are witnessing the second act of a three act play about the collapse of the modern Republican party under a contagion of ideological absurdity. The first act was the 2010 election. This second act began with a brief, but defiant rally by the patient who now speeds inevitably towards submission to a breathing apparatus and feeding tubes. I can’t wait for act three, where we’ll discover whether the feeble and confused invalid signed a DNR (do not resuscitate) order.
Word is, the Darkman, Obama, is taking Pawlenty and Huntsman more seriously than the other vaginas. That’s telling. Color me fascinated. They clearly know more than I do. I still struggle with the idea that Obama, once the unlikeliest of candidates, has no real competition as we speak. Fucking crazy that the lock step, overtly disciplined machine has not anything but shit sandwiches on the platter. Gingrich farts in a vacuum and Trump keeps showing up with turd festooned catfish lips and a notorious exhale.
Imagine being anyone of these desperate fools and understanding that unless Obama is caught with the corpse of Anna Nicole Smith in The Oval, there is zero chance their name will issue from the mouths of school children. Much less a Texas text book portraying them strolling with dinosaurs.
I hear God might want Rick Perry to run. Like we need another Christian zealot from Texas. How much will the village miss it’s idiot this time I wonder. Praise the lord and pass gas.
They are all jackasses.
I’ve been pointing this out for quite a while and I have a really good reason for doing so. It is what it is. What it is now, is a pretty goddamn good chance that Obama will slide into a second term.
What needs to happen now, is what they’re most afraid of. This administration, without the specter of reelection hanging overhead, should rise to the occasion we’ve all been idealizing for years. The sack we hoped for and had a right to anticipate given the rhetoric and message sermonized, should be on full display come next year.
But it’s up to you. It’s always about you. It never stops being just that. This president needs to step up, but he won’t unless you do. He won’t if you don’t. All the things the “professional left” bitches about will never come to pass unless we and they continue to piss, moan and holler. Nevermind them that would pretend at the throne. FDR admonished, “Make me do it.”
“We don’t need need ‘new ideas’. We need the balls to implement the ideas we already know work. Cut corporate welfare. Slash the defense budget. Tax the rich. Support the strong unions that created a middle class in the first place. Build infrastructure and take the profit out of health care………” -Bill Maher
As of this writing, the New York state legislature has passed a bill that allows for same sex marriage. It’s an absolute unequivocal civil rights triumph. The times, they are a changin’. Suck on that you backward ass country fucking bigots. Your obsolescence is planned and coming home to roost.
The sale is always closer than you think.
Drinks for my friends.