Archive for July, 2011

heartburn

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”

“I invented the cordless extension cord”

-Steven Wright

We do ourselves a disservice by assuming Obama is anything other than a centrist Republican.  He’s a DINO, Democrat in name only.  It’s not all bad, he is occasionally willing to wrestle in the mud with ugly, wart festooned Republicans, neocons and tea party retards.  A crusading liberal he’s not; we can no longer afford that perception.  It’s been an expensive nicety.

Obama is at best a moderate Republican from your father’s Republican party.  He campaigned to the left and has rushed to the right ever since.  It’s as kind as I can be.  I understand he’s accomplished some monumental things but I’m nonplussed about his real agenda and I’m both wary and weary of guessing at his sincere intentions.  I’m starting to wonder whether he’s a dick of plutocratic magnitude.  He surrendered the public option before the shouting began, he ignores war criminals and the crimes they committed and is embarrassingly recalcitrant when it comes to the giant bank motherfuckers that control everything that happens.  He’s no FDR and he makes LBJ look like a bird of prey.

If you’re a liberal, Obama kinda sucks actually.

This has never been about merely eating our peas or peeling off a band aid.

I gotta tell you this may be as much about the environment as his personal convictions.  Nature versus nurture.

The center has shifted towards hard right buffoonery.  The right has jerked violently in the direction of avarice.  Religious zealotry.  Madness.  Austerity for the working masses.  Contrary to public opinion or popular sentiment.  It’s amazing.  They just don’t give a single shit about anything unless it has to do with raping the ordinary and enslaving them to the wealthy and corporations.  I hate it.  I’m absolutely astounded that they’ve been able to convince so many Americans to go along with it.  I can’t believe there are so many dumbasses.

So to be fair, Obama inherited a shitstorm and has no choice but to navigate pestiferous waters.

Because Americans are dumb as shit.

How is that?

How is it that a reasonable majority keeps chasing such mendacious fatuity?

I don’t know about you but that bitch is ugly and stupid and she stinks and I can’t figure out why we keep pursuing her.  No amount of makeup or perfume can possibly assuage it.  You can put lipstick on a pig but that’s all it is.

Oh, sorry, I’m not talking about Michele Bachmann specifically;  I’m speaking metaphorically.  I hear pigs are pretty damn smart, so forgive me.  And I adore women in general, so allow this trespass with the understanding that it is anything but prurient.

Even Boehner and MCconnel have given voice to reason only to be subverted by a callow, amateur, jackackass like Eric Cantor.  I know he’s a jackass because he makes no sense and he can’t belie a personal agenda that’s more about Eric Cantor than the American people. I fucking hate that guy.  I’d like to see him piss up a rope or actually explain his position on anything.

Bring him to me.  I will kick his ass.  I will make him cry.

It’s unclear whether they know what they do.  They appear to be so goddamn dumb that they are willing to jeopardize the entire world economy because they are selfish, ideological, thumb sucking brats.  They walk out of meetings with the President of The United States and say shit like ‘He started it’ on national television.

The road to common sense and equitable solutions used to be through the middle.  I no longer believe that.  Clearly, Obama no longer sees that road as a pragmatic option.

Lawrence O’Donnell is indefatigable in his insistence that Obama is playing master poker/chess with our future.  I don’t buy it.  I’ll be ecstatic if he’s right but I’ve witnessed far too much capitulation to buy that bridge to nowhere over a swamp of prime real estate.  We’re gonna get fucked.  It’s gonna happen.  I’m so tired of one step forward, two steps back.  You’ll need to read my last couple of blogs to understand where I’m coming from here.

We keep fighting conflagrations with lime jello.  I think that Boehner actually said the same the other day but that’s not what he meant.  Irony.

They don’t fight fair and I don’t understand why we don’t fight harder knowing full well we can still do it honestly.  I must be stupid because I just don’t get it.  Forgive my naivete for not understanding why we refrain from kicking jackasses like Cantor in the teeth with logic and common sense, in public and in front of the American people.  Why don’t we make this insipid little intellectual midget cry in front of his friends?

Why?

Why, do we instead, take him and so many like him seriously in any public venue?

Why?

I’ll do it.  Let me at him.  I would destroy him.  I’m calling out Eric Cantor.  Paul Ryan too.  Remember that high school student who challenged Bachmann to a debate on the constitution?  I’m not holding my breath.

Am I wrong in hoping, daring to ask, that we do to them what they shamelessly do to us so absent of sense, decorum and discretion?

Beware gin without ice.  It tastes hot.  Burns my tongue.  Weird.  I drink whiskey straight though.

They are such dicks.

I hate it when I run out of ice.

My girlfriend forgot to fill the ice trays again.

I really hope that asshole Rick Perry runs.  He’s the queen of the harpies.  He doesn’t cook.  He doesn’t clean.  He prays.  Another empty suit from Texas.  I should be careful what I wish for.

Anyhoo………

Raising the debt ceiling is about paying what we already owe.  It’s a manufactured crisis.

This should really be a walk in the park.  I can’t understand why it’s so hard.  It’s goddamn Fisher Price.  These people are idiots.  It’s clearly in someones best interest.  It sure as hell isn’t in that of the middle class.  They wage war with absolute lies.  Why can’t we do the same with the truth?  Social security has fuck all to do with the debt or the deficit and the only problem it will ever have can be solved easily by making the rich pay into it.  As is, it’s solvent for at least another quarter century.  Medicare and medicaid could benefit from various things like means testing (not all that efficacious), but both are still one hell of a lot more efficient than what the private sector offers.

Our woes are not the result of “entitlement” programs.  Our woes have nothing to do with the debt ceiling or deficits.  Dick Cheney said deficits don’t matter and Reagan raised taxes seven times and the debt ceiling eighteen times and these idiots sing his praises louder than a gay men’s choir being castrated.  Our woes are because of our wars.  Stupid, pointless wars that protect the interests of the wealthy and provide opportunity for them to vacuum even more filthy lucre.  Our woes are because the rich do not pay their fair share in taxes.  Tax breaks for the wealthy do not, and have never created one single fucking job.  My head nearly explodes whenever I hear some Republican asshole pontificate on what a big mistake it is to raise taxes on the wealthy in this precarious economic climate.  400 hundred of the wealthiest Americans possess more of the money than half, 150 million us.  Tax rates are lower on them than they have ever been.  The only mistake is the money they will give that particular douchebag to get re-elected, so that piece of shit can continue to advocate for that fat fuck to write off that fucking caviar on his eggs in the morning by the pool while the damn jet warms up.

It’s not about the deficit.  It’s not about the debt.  It’s not about “entitlements” – I hate that word,  because we, the middle class actually pay for them and deserve to benefit from them.  It’s about the American people and our opportunity to work hard for at least a living wage.  It’s about jobs.

IT’S ABOUT JOBS.  IT’S ABOUT THE RICH USING ONE ELABORATE CHARADE AFTER ANOTHER TO FOMENT FEAR OF THINGS WE HAVE NO REASON TO FEAR SO THEY CAN STEAL THE REST OF WHAT WE HAVE WHILE LOOK OVER OUR SHOULDERS AND SWEAT WHETHER TO CUP OUR GENITALS OR COVER OUR ASSES.  CLASS WARFARE BY ANY OTHER NAME.

Again, the road to common sense and equitable solutions used to be through the middle.  Not anymore.

The difference between us and them is the more powerful amplifier for their message.  Well you know, that and morals and ethics and all that.  Forgive me for pointing out we’ve begun to suck at that too.

Don’t go telling me we need to sell our souls too.  God help us says the unapologetic agnostic.

THESE are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.

-Thomas Paine

We need to grow a pair.

Drinks for my friends.

I walk the line

In the news:  Casey Anthony wasn’t convicted of murdering her daughter.  Why do we give a damn?  She probably did it but all evidence was circumstantial.   There was no cause of death and no motive so get over it.  I hear some English royalty arrived here in Southern California the other day.  Again, who cares?  I don’t.  I can’t find a reason to.  Apparently our women won some soccer contest.  Good for you if it matters.  Rupert Murdoch appears to be in real trouble over some obtuse fuckery hitherto unseen.  This thing with Murdoch will be fascinating.  Vulgar and salacious.  Obscene and untoward.  I’d love to see him suffer because he just might be the world’s hugest asshole.

Anyway.

Obama and the debt ceiling.

He blinks too soon.  Almost always.

We need a president who wields not just a sword or an axe, but an electrically or pneumatically powered tool when it comes to policy.  Just like the last one except he was stupid and  Obama is smart.  His wife said rather famously that if he could walk on water they’d accuse him of not being able to swim.  So be it.  That’s where we are.  Own it Mr. President.  Why behave in public if you’re living on a playground?

Just how much the electorate cares about our debt and the deficit is debatable but that level of concern sure as hell isn’t anywhere near what it is for jobs and incomes in a sustained state of atrophy.

I’m flirting with the notion of becoming a member of the “professional left”.  That is, if I’m not already.  This president could have quite literally been among the greatest in the relatively short history of America.  He could have.  I don’t care about the color of his skin and neither should you.  It shouldn’t matter but it does.  It matters to bigots and Republicans.  It shouldn’t matter but it does.  It’s the best reason they have for hating him.  It’s the worst reason for hating anyone.  Still, they do.

I may have been foolishly optimistic in my musings over what a second term might bring.  Foolishly optimistic indeed, concerning this man over who’s election and subsequent inauguration I actually wept.

I confess to being overwhelmingly distraught over human nature and it’s effect on the human condition.

He has absolutely failed us.  I try to remind myself what he’s accomplished.  It’s not insignificant.  How he’s championed our cause.  The list keeps getting shorter.  The cause keeps getting more diluted.  The effect just can’t help but diminish.

It is what it is:

THE WARS, THE ABJECT NAKED FAILURE TO REGULATE BANKING THAT THRUSTED OUR HEADS INTO THE TOILET OF ECONOMIC DESPAIR , FAILURE TO EVEN PURSUE PUNISHMENT OF THE CULPABLE .  FAILURE TO LEAD.  FAILURE TO PROSECUTE THE BANKERS AND THE WAR CRIMINALS.  FAILURE TO EVEN CALL THE BASTARDS ON IT.

Why?  Give me a reason.  A reasonable reason other than you’re not interested in stirring shit.  Is it because you sought leadership of the free world knowing you were a pussy?

If Barack Obama is complicit in any way to cuts to social security, medicare or medicaid to offset or finance tax cuts to millionaires, billionaires or subsidies of any kind to obscenely wealthy corporations, my belief in hope and change will become the the vapor of foolish optimism it was consigned to be when my gullible reluctance for cynicism reared it’s pretty head for the last time.  In short, if this takes place in any way shape or form, I am fucking done with this guy and I am completely prepared to seek and support any other pretender to the throne to which we anointed him with our collective gust of naive indulgence.

Chain yanking of the first order.  The big picture is obscured by a shit smeared lens.

Fucking taxes.  Barbarians at the gate being thrown the meat and bones of the poor and elderly so they might gobble and suck at the marrow.  I fucking hate these guys.  Why is it we can’t repeal the Bush tax cuts on the rich?  It might just be that our president has a sore vagina.

Social security does not contribute to the deficit.  It goddamn doesn’t.  It is solvent for the next 26 years and is easily fixed beyond that.  The private sector in terms of health care is an absolute clusterfuck when compared to medicare and medicaid in cost, efficiency and efficacy.

There is sufficient debate to note that the actual intention or substance of this as a news story may be suspect, particularly in the context of some pretty clear, overt and specific proclamations by Obama on the subject in the past.  Regardless, whether it’s a mere “trial balloon” or an inauthentically spurious manipulation by mainstream media, it should be met with nothing less than a fierce vehemence and furious adamance of opposition by thinking Americans.  It is far too dangerous a bluff to make, even if that’s all it’s intended to be.

How many Americans have counted on the parachutes of medicare, medicaid and social security being there for most of their lives?  Cutting them will only accomplish one thing; it will worsen, egregiously, the economic malaise that every citizen save the wealthy, is already in the desperate throes of.   The Republican strategy is to hold the the heads of the American middle class in sepsis until it can no longer breathe and blame it on on Democrats and Obama so they can once again seize control of all three branches of government in 2012 and finish the job of remaking us into a plutocracy.  The writing is on the wall in glowing neon relief.

Obama needs to understand that nothing short of making a stand and calling bullshit on that strategy will enjoy the merest modicum of success.

Our only alternative might be a Republican executive and a Democratic legislature.  Given the persistent and homogeneous spinelessness of Democrats, such a turd would likely never have any shine.

Wanna take that chance?

Be ready  for it because it just might be the only one we have.

Drinks for my friends.

The spirit of 76

Happy independence day.

I sat with a retired couple the other day.  Nice people but we were opposites.

Fox News religiously.  How is it that people can be so nice and reasonable and still allow themselves to be so full of shit?

I still closed the deal.  Took me a couple hours but I knew what was going to happen inside of fifteen minutes.

I don’t get paid enough to know that.  I like people and they always like me.  They pay me for that.  Sometimes.  Less often than not it feels like.

I can’t find a decent job to save my life and if I jump out the window, there’s no one to close it behind me so my cats don’t wander out and fall.  I’m on the ninth floor.  I guess I’ll have to leave notice that I’ll be jumping out the window.  I can’t afford a gun right now.  I’ll need someone to close the window just a few minutes after I take the plunge.  Write me at this address if you’re up for it.

Maybe I hate myself.

It’s silly and pointless. We are already a third world country.

Within the next year or so 25% of our children will be below the poverty line.  Check me me before you wreck me but it’s true according to 60 minutes.  How many homeless do you think that means?  Do the math.

From ’09 until now, 88% of all economic growth has entered through the ass pockets of corporate profit.  In the same amount of time, you and I have seen about 1%.  Absolutely NOT adjusted for inflation.  Have you noticed the stock market just can’t get enough of itself?  They love themselves.  They should.  They walk around with thousand dollar bills glued to their  ridiculous jeans regardless of whether we can pay rent or not.  The recession and the subsequent “recovery” have amounted to an even greater concentration of wealth.  Do the math.  As the smoke clears and we treat our own gaping ass wounds, these fuckers eat smooth velvet cake and giggle at our gullibility.

400 of them own as much as 170,000,000 of us.

Republicans continue to flirt with the debt ceiling like it’s a legitimate issue.  Like it’s a real issue.  They raised the debt ceiling under Dumbya 7 times with nary a whimper.  Fuck me.  Blow me.  It’s not about that.  They hold it hostage to further an insidious agenda of austerity.  Eric Cantor wants you to believe that closing tax loopholes for corporate jet use is egregious enough for him to walk out of negotiations that would forestall what everyone agrees, everyone understands and everyone fears with good reason, will be an economic catastrophe.  CAT.  ASS.  TROPHY.  At the same time this officious little prick wants to see poor people lose access to medicine and Ramen noodles.

What a dick.

They keep telling the richest country in the history of mankind that it’s broke.

How can that be?

It’s not, but they want it to be.

It’s fucking bullshit.

I’ll tell you how.  Three wars.  Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya.  Corporations like General Electric don’t pay a motherfucking dime in taxes while illegal aliens pay billions.  We give subsidies to the richest, most profitable businesses in the history of mankind.  We’re talking big oil here. Defense contractors.  Corn growers.  Ethanol is like nuclear power in that neither is fiscally legitimate and both are as dangerous as say, fracking.  Way bigger money than any union.  And they scream and piss and moan about salaries paid to teachers, cops and firefighters.  They push and pine for austerity.  They hate unions because they are the cornerstone of and for the middle class.  They hate them all including a minimum wage because it’s “socialism”.  They hate the middle class because it historically represents a common sense center of power, ethics, morality and accountability in this country.

They hate us.

Many of them should be in fucking jail along with the most prominent members of the last administration.

They don’t just want more, they want everything.  They want all there is to get.

They label everything they oppose “socialism”.  They assume they know what that word means but are sure that you don’t.  They don’t understand that police and firefighters operate under one of the purest social constructs in existence.  Or maybe they do understand.

They don’t care that families will roam the streets in search of food and medicine.  Under the Ryan plan, they will and they just don’t care.  They don’t try to truthfully explain the Ryan plan, they choose instead to lie about it.  It’s kinda how you know they’re full of shit.

They can’t wait for the plutocracy to be complete.  It is why they have grown so egregiously bold.

They look forward to it because they don’t give a mad fuck.  THEY understand that WE no longer elect them.  YOUR elected representatives don’t give a shit about you.  They care only about getting re-elected so that the cycle continues.  They covet power and influence because that’s precisely what we’ve allowed.  The drug war is a sterling example.  Stop imagining that your government is wringing hands over you getting addicted to pot or even heroin.  They don’t care.  They just hope to be able to throw you in prison when you become obstreperous  and unmanageable because you smoke weed and we all understand that never happens.

Never.  Ever.  For the last forty years it’s been a great excuse for incarcerating hippies, activists, and brown people though.

America is a third world country.  The only exception, the only difference is that we go around the globe blowing up every brown person who disagrees with us.  While our teeth rot and our organs fail, while we lose our houses and our jobs, we prance around the world blowing everything up and scaring the shit out of everyone else.  We are bullies.  Assholes.

We hate ourselves.

We debate the debt ceiling, the budget and the deficit and seriously set the table with things like education and “entitlements” like social security, medicare and medicaid while ignoring the eight thousand pound fucking gorilla in the room that is spending hard earned tax dollars everyday to kill brown people.  Everywhere.  All the time.  Every day.  We kill more people everyday than any country on earth.  We incarcerate more people than any country on earth and most of them are of an alternate color.    We pay giant sums to do it all and pretend the argument is about the money we spend taking care of our own people.

Like that’s the bad thing.  Like we can’t afford that.

They really want you to think that taking care of our own is what’s breaking our backs.  They hope to make you see that it is YOU that is the enemy.  It’s the biggest lie they tell you and that says more than a lot.  If you believe that lie it means you are dumber than the people around you.  It means you probably watch and believe Fox News even though the economic policy being sold to you will fuck you in the ass.  It means you are incurably stupid.

It means you loath other people because you see yourself.  Insidiously clever.  I admit I’m impressed.

We pay more more than any country on earth for health care while only a fraction are covered and our health care sucks ass.  Our education sucks and that translates to a seriously jeopardized future.  They want this.  They can’t wait for it.  They think it will make you want to elect more crazy dipshits next time.  They count on it.  It’s their entire strategy.

I hear God loves the Tea Party, the stupidest motherfuckers in America and therefore, the world.  Only in America can you be pro gun, pro death penalty, pro nukes, pro big energy, pro unilateral preemptive aggression (The Bush Doctrine), pro heterosexual marriage exclusively, pro racial discrimination (anti muslim, anti immigration, sexist…..) and still be “PRO LIFE”.  What a bunch of asstards.  We rock at stupidity.  We are the champions of the world.  No wonder every other country laughs at us behind closed doors because they fear us.  We are vacant eyed dumb but we’ll fracture your skull with one roundhouse kick if you don’t shut up.

Like all bullies, we’ve been made to hate ourselves  by abusive, damaged parents.

They do it all in the name of God and religion.  Every single one of these hypocritical, loose lipped zealots says and does everything in the name of God and country like the two weren’t absolutely intended to be mutually exclusive by our forefathers who were way smarter and had had far more honest and far less avaricious intentions.  It is killing me.

It’s an early 80’s horror movie.

Michele Bachmann is the absolute dumbest person to ever run for president of the united states.  She can raise money like a riot and that all speaks volumes about the American electorate after George W. Bush was president for eight mindless years.  Whatever happened to her debating that twelfth grader on the constitution?  She spends her time proving she doesn’t know fuck all about our history and questioning everyone’s patriotism.  She hates herself.  They all hate themselves.  It’s why they always get caught committing some egregiously hypocritical act that the rest of us gasp at and pretend to be indignant about.

We’re all the same.

We no longer manufacture, we no longer lead in innovation, our infrastructure crumbles, our schools and education system rot while our young are uninspired and understandably despondent.  What’s wrong with the new generation?  Us.  We suck.  We are a third world country.  Soon, white people will be crossing the border to Mexico in search of a decent job.  Canada will very soon have an immigration problem.  And they like that. They want it.  They can’t wait.  They would twist and shout if the American middle class began to jump borders to make a better living just like all the brown people.  Then we’ll really start to compete with them and hate them like never before.  Maybe then NAFTA will be a real factor for the disadvantaged.

Will we be more or less of an empire then?

The answer is more.

There will be no balance without the equity of increased revenue AND cuts to our military.  AND cuts in subsidies to fat fucks in three piece suits who offshore business accounts, defense contracts, manufacturing and customer service.  AND tax increases on the wealthy.

We are not broke.  We are morally and ethically challenged and it’s painfully clear as evidenced by the fiscal priorities we actually countenance or tolerate while we behave like the most important things no longer matter.

We are a third world country.  Our elected representatives now represent anyone and everyone that would silence us.  Our voices and will are under sustained attack and deliberate corrosion.  The gulf between the American dream and reality continues to widen while the time to correct it grows shorter.  America as we think of it, is about to be over.   I don’t know about you but I don’t buy for a second that our ancestors walked with dinosaurs or that Reaganomics has done anything but ass rape working men and women.  They can’t wait for you to embrace these things.  And they are so close they can taste it.

They hate us because we are them.  We hate ourselves because we are them.

Do the math.

Happy Independence Day.

Drinks for my friends.

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