Archive for June, 2014

Maybe the whole idea with all this new abortion legislation without exceptions for rape and incest etc. could be about the crusty old white conservative douchenozzles not being able to reproduce or even get laid any other way.

Right?

How else does it make sense?

If they can’t reproduce, they can’t propagate or indoctrinate. If they can’t rape their cousins, sisters, aunts or random children, they have no chance of winning elections long term.  See, otherwise they’re done getting laid.

Should we admire them for this?  Their only long term strategy?

“Is you is, or is you ain’t, my constituency?”

I mean they’ve alienated everyone else.

If men could get an abortion, not pregnant mind you, just an abortion, they would be free and absent controversy.  There would be abortion days at the mall.  Thursdays.  Don’t ask don’t tell.  Absolute privacy.  Provider/impregnator privilege.

We wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Same scenario with contraception.

These people aren’t pro life.  They are pro birth.  After the child is born, they can’t be bothered to give a mad fuck about it.  They vote against every single thing that could potentially benefit every single child they insist be born under far less than ideal circumstances.  No welfare, no food stamps, no health care, no unemployment benefits, no clean air, no clean water, no safe food, no education, no pension, no union, no nothing.

Once the child comes of age, incarcerate it for the prison industrial complex it or make it cannon fodder for the military industrial complex.

They adore capital punishment.

It is the apogee of hypocrisy.

A breathtakingly disingenuous intellectual ballet.

So I ask myself why.  Why are they so vehement?  Why are they so goddamn self righteously angry at women?  They are very angry.  Really pissed off.  But that’s not it.  What they are is afraid.  Afraid of women.  Afraid of slightly more than half the of the human population.  Fear is a great force multiplier.  They fear their power, their wisdom and ultimately their independence.  They understand that women afforded power will hasten their marginalization, their obsolescence, their extinction.

Because they have marginalized themselves.  Because they pursue obsolescence with abandon and because they actively romance extinction.

You can smell the desperation when they pass draconian laws, when they make it impossible for clinics that provide a myriad of other essential family health services to stay open.  When they murder doctors who merely seek to keep women from resorting to coat hangers in alleys.

They murder.

The hubris, it burns.

Here’s the deal.  Just because I’m pro choice doesn’t mean I’m pro abortion.  It’s none of my goddamn business.  I am somehow fortunate enough to possess a modicum of humility.  A whiff of intelligence and compassion.  Just enough of these things to understand, to realize, that it’s none of my fucking business at all unless I’m the father.  And then my say would be limited because I can’t know the import of what I would ask.  I would be secondary and I would understand that.

Nobody can know but the woman in question and I’m beyond convinced that this issue does not belong in our male dominated corridors of power.

This issue has no place in the hands of any men not irrevocably involved in the outcome.

The pride they approach this with disgusts me.  They presume to know better about something they can’t possibly have a clue about.  I know because I’m a man and I have no idea.

They are that spec of fecal matter at the back of my toilet bowl.  The one that appears between scrubbings.  That brown dot I’m constantly trying to dislodge with my ultra powerful racehorse urine stream.

It is my sincere hope to piss you fuckers off.

Drinks for my friends.

 

 

As you may or may not know, I like to pick fights with the willfully ignorant on facebook. It’s a hobby. I usually find myself punching down, but occasionally I discover an articulate, well informed whack job capable of civil and cogent discourse. I love that.

I totally salute all three of you.

Inevitably, when I confront them with facts and logic, the catapulting of invective ensues. I find myself at the receiving end of insults  entirely predictable.  Remarkably consistent.  They call me a “libtard”, and gasp, “socialist” and even worse, “communist”.

Every fucking time I ask them to define “socialist” or “communist”, the crickets begin to swang. Not one of these goofcocks actually has any idea what these “isms” actually are or what they mean.

It represents a profound ideological perversion and it’s disturbing. McCarthyism revisited.  Short attention span theater.  No room for history.

Guess what?  I must be a low down dirty dog socialist because I have enough common sense to realize that capitalism, without the necessary ballast of socialism, or regulation, ends up being fascism.  Thank dog for socialism.   Sorry, three more isms for your consumption and edification.

I can always count on the word socialism launching at the mere mention of Obama.  T minus three seconds and counting.  In the context of stratospheric stock market indexes, record CEO compensation, all time high worker productivity and the inertia of wages for the middle class, Obama is a pretty miserable goddamn socialist.

Republicans and teabillies alike are more than willing to ignore that without regulation, our food, air, water and energy would be killing us all far more often and far more egregiously.

They would have Christianity solve all that for us.

Dickheads.

It highlights the common malaise of intellectual laziness that is the paradigm for the right these days.  To them it’s the political equivalent of calling me a cocksucker.   I can almost feel the hot moist spittle of their vitriol.  They are as pissed as any self aware species courting guaranteed extinction should be.

Wrinkly old white dudes.

I’ve known plenty of them.

Nevermind that term is an actual slur on its own.  More troubling is the catalyst of polarization it manifests as.  The notion that conservatism and liberalism, two more isms, are at war is a distraction.  It makes it really easy to say that.

I’ve said it a hundred times.  Put 50  democrats in a room with 50 republicans and they will agree on at least 80% of the issues.  But, they will spend all their time arguing over the remaining 20%

Both parties are guilty, but I’m getting really tired of the false equivalency. Is that equivalency Bernie Sanders, Liz Warren  and Grayson on the left compared to Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Sarah Palin on the right?  I doubt it. The right makes it so much worse by casually tossing these terms around and by embracing religion as a litmus test.  We all live with socialism.  It serves us.  You know, the fire department, the library, social security.  None of us aspire to or admire communism and it’s just ridiculous to accuse liberals of fascism when the right so ardently foments theocracy.

Drinks for my friends.

Sometimes I can hear a song for days, I can replay it in my head, in stereo, over and over for a week. After that I need a refresher. So I listen to that song on the world’s best stereo. I happen to own the world’s best stereo.

I can taste it.  I can see it. I smell it. It has texture.

I can touch it without touching it.

I assumed everyone was like this.

What’s up with these assholes who want to sport lethal firepower in the toy aisle at Target?  What makes a man think that’s cool?  I’m sure boys do.  You know they do it because they think it’s cool.  Boys that aren’t men and men that are boys.  What if I wandered into a Walmart with just road flares strapped to my legs brandishing a Zippo?  Would you be okay with that?  What if I promised it wasn’t dynamite, pointed out there were no fuses?

I mean I’m obviously unhinged.  Right?

If mall security isn’t all over me already, You’re dialing 911 and pissing your pants and leaving.

What if the communists go after the shopping centers first?  The open carrier will die in an explosion that melts his pea shooter into a stick skinnier than his dick.

Nope.

This is dumb.

Look.  I’m not anti gun.  The second amendment has clearly been misinterpreted but I’m not here to take your guns away and neither is anyone else.  It’s not happening and it’s not going to.

So grow up.  Don’t take your guns to town Wayne.

I’m not a fan of public displays of affection.  It occurs to me this is a public display of fear and panic.  Fear and panic should not be displayed publicly.  If you need to take a gun to the grocery store, you’re a dick and you shouldn’t be able to own a gun.  That should be the first question on the test.

DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO WEAR A SEMI AUTOMATIC RIFLE TO ANY LOCAL RETAIL STORE?

If the answer is yes……….

Drinks for my friends.