Archive for November, 2015

It’s not really baffling that the only republican candidates calling Trump out on his lowest common denominator obsequiousness to the knuckle dragging mouth breathers are the ones at the back of the pack looking for anything to gain traction.

What’s disturbing is that the media keeps serving at the pleasure of this malignant narcissist scion. They just broadcast his vicious brand of fear porn without reservation.

Nevermind the worthless American citizens who lap his shit up. Where the fuck is the responsibility or accountability of our journalists?  They sit with composure and deference while this anti-articulate dickhead vomits hate and vitriol all over our airwaves.

So far the the only “journalist” to even approach a come to Jesus moment with Trump is Bill O’Reilly.

Fuck me.

It’s malpractice.  They should all be sued.  I am disgusted. Bigoted liars like Trump used to fear or at least respect the media, now somehow the media fears Trump. Because they are cowards and he is a bully.  Chuck Todd actually said he was afraid to call Trump on his shit because  he wouldn’t come on his show anymore.  So fucking what?  Skewer him for being afraid.  That  puts asses in the seats at least as much as allowing the blowhard to pollute your bandwidth.  Zero integrity.  Zero respect for what used to be an esteemed institution.  What if Trump was actually afraid to show up because he knew he was going to be held to one goddamn standard or another?  Isn’t that the way it used to be?

Remember David Duke?

He flamed out because he was a piece of shit and the media weren’t such pussies.

The same actually goes for the rest of the champion liars posing as candidates.  Like Carly Fiorina and Ted Cruz.    These two are vaudeville mendacious and debate moderators aren’t just complicit, they are participants for not shaming them on live television.  It was embarrassing to watch.  They got away with a metric ton of crap.

The same spineless talking heads that call every right wing, evangelical gun nut a radical or misunderstood or simply, the shooter.  Instead of what they are.  Terrorists.  Because they are always white.

So much for the “liberal media”.

And here’s the thing about Trump in particular, he’s barely spent a dime.  Our media is his Super PAC.  He is playing us like we’ve never been played before.  It’s not just FOX aiding and abetting here boys and girls.  It’s all of us.

Me too.

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves……..”

Cowardice.

All the way around.

Drinks for my friends.

I can’t help it. I’ve done it before and I’m sure I’ll do it again. Like millions before and millions hence. So forgive me. Donald Trump is the biggest asshole to ever run for president of this country by a fucking mile. He is a stain on American dignity. An indictment of our ignorance and cruel stupidity.  This one piece of lamentable shit has managed to expose our most profound moral and ethical shortcomings so completely that I have never been more embarrassed to be an American.

If this man gets elected, we deserve it.  Because it will be our own consequence of laziness and apathy and complacency.  A low brow campaign of distraction and obfuscation.  Because we are rubes.  Suckers.  And it will mean that our only hope for salvation by wisdom is even more abject suffering.  It will be a sign that we require further self abuse to learn our lesson.

It will mean we asked for it.

And this is exactly why Brainspank officially endorses Bernard Sanders for president of the United States of America.  Because he is our last chance at embarrassing these idiots.  Our last chance at shutting them the fuck up.  I believe he is our last hope at extinguishing the rampant and chronic fuckery that has infected us as a country and a people.

Yup, alert the media.

This is big.

Because Hillary Clinton is basically an opportunist.

She is full of shit.

She is on record speaking glowingly of the TPP and Keystone XL before she stuck her finger in the wind.  Among the most disingenuous things she’s opined is that somehow as secretary of state, she had no knowledge of either one in any way so only now has she made up her mind.  She is lying.

She won’t commit to expanding medicare, medicaid and Social Security.  She won’t in fact commit to not weakening them.  She won’t commit to a $15 an hour minimum wage.  She has earned millions of dollars in speaking fees and collected millions more from the very institutions that flirted with the financial demise of the millions of people in this country who actually work for a living.  She is committed to allowing them another chance at the table.  I don’t care who you are or what you think you know, she absolutely has their backs.  And just recently, the last straw for me, she criticized Sanders for his support of the notion that we deserve single payer health coverage as a right, not a privilege.  It’s our money, it’s not goddamn  free and we deserve to have our money spent on our well being as opposed to our money spent on multiple ridiculous wars that enrich the rich even further.

Bernie Sanders is the only candidate that even talks about this.  Our money.

I will admit this, I will vote for her if she gets the nomination, because she is as Sanders said, better on her worst day than any of these goofecock republicans.  Because it will then be about nominations to the supreme court.  Corporate democrats will punch you in the back of the head just as hard as republicans over sparing the filthy rich but they have a soft spot when it comes to social imperatives.

I won’t be capitulating.

If this woman gets elected, we deserve it.  Because it will be our own consequence of laziness and apathy and complacency. A low brow campaign of distraction and obfuscation.  Because we are rubes.  Suckers.  And it will mean that our only hope for salvation by wisdom is even more abject suffering.  It will be a sign that we require further self abuse to learn our lesson.

It will mean we asked for it.

We have one shot at this.

Go Bernie go.

Drinks for my friends.

I could not be more thoroughly disgusted that we live in a world where things like this occur.

I am all but hollowed out by the empty headed reactions to it.

France begins by stepping up their bombing in Syria with fierce and ignorant determination.  The Russian bear is doing the same. Here in the homeland, we’re all fired up jingoistic. Our rednecks are beside themselves with xenophobic lust even though the only word they recognize that starts with “x” is “xmas”.  Our neocons are masturbating in public. Some asshole on cable news just now said Saudi Arabia is cool because they have never attacked us.

Instead of admitting we made this mess, we insist on pursuing the same obtuse path, the same binary policies that led directly and predictably to this minor horror.

Yup,  A minor horror.

Spare the sentimentalism, it really is awful.

I get that.

We’re doing big picture here.

A minor horror in the scheme of things.  Merely awful compared to the horrific shit we pull over there. We kill these fuckers wholesale.  Everyday.  All the time. All day long. We don’t care. We see them as cockroaches. And they are sick and fucking tired of us wading in with overwhelming military force, obscene wealth and ginormous resources, only to make things exponentially worse.  We are the architects of their hell.

They have every reason to fucking hate us and we show no sign of giving up stepping on our dicks anytime soon.

I am loath to be the bearer of the obvious, but all these tragedies are of our own device.  Well, to be fair, it’s us and all the oligarchies, plutocracies and theocracies we call allies.  Our coalition.

Understand that our lethally modern military is about as useful as a machine gun against a nest of hornets.  We didn’t defeat The Soviet Union, they did.  We have way more money by virtue of raping our middle class, but the more we turn our machines of modern warfare on them, the more they will visit destruction on innocents.

They don’t have a goddamn army and it’s their biggest advantage.

They don’t hate us for our goddamn freedoms. They hate us because we refuse to stay the fuck out of their lives. They cheer us on as it blows up in our faces. We create the petri dish for recruitment and chaos.  Clumsy giants. Clueless oafs with aircraft carriers in a theater where it just doesn’t matter. At all. We are being lured into boots on the ground. We can make blast craters every hundred yards in the entire Middle East and they will laugh at us.  It’s not like that’s never happened  before.

We have but three choices if we genuinely want to prevail.  Stop utilizing fossile fuels tomorrow, turn all the sand into glass or leave.  I’m not kidding.  We’re not going to abandon the absurdly archaic and obsolete monopoly of petroleum anytime soon.  So yes,  kill every single last one of them with our aging nuclear arsenal or move the fuck on.

Again, don’t get all sentimental on me here, we’re doing big picture.

I’m in favor of the latter.

Here’s the rub, and this is my point, there is no surplus in either one of the only two viable solutions.  No need for exorbitant defense contractors, no nutrition for the military industrial complex, no reason to perpetuate the insanity and therefore no reason not to pursue the not so new normal of endless war.  Neither solution supplies reason to continue a closed loop enterprise that generates enormous revenue for the sick bastards who collect the filthy lucre and worship at the altar of death and violence.

So I’m in favor of walking away.

It is the most sensible, compassionate and courageous thing we could possibly do.  Help in whatever way we can.  Welcome as many refugees fleeing this nightmare we created as we have capacity for and otherwise abdicate the blackening of sand with blood to the five million troops that are already there.

Drinks for my friends.

All you jackasses understand is a goddamn brand. You don’t give a mad fuck what the brand stands for. You don’t care what the brand does. You’ll never take it upon yourself to seriously question the brand. Your brand cannot do any wrong no matter what. No matter what anyone who opposes your brand says or does, you reject it without ever considering it.

You are useless.

We have abandoned the civic responsibility of being informed.  Too much information is the new normal.  Clearly, people are stupefied.

Everybody needs a brand.

I understand now why we are where we are.

We have always been willing to work hard but are otherwise intellectually lazy.  It is more confusing than ever but we are so convinced that nose to the grindstone is paramount, we have forgotten to think  for ourselves.  Hard work is the key to the universe and failure to be rich means you’re a lazy bastard.  We actually believe all that.

Right and left.

Every single one of the republicans is an asshole with really shitty branding.

But they sell the shit out of anything.

They do it with fear.

It works.

Democrats are just as stupid as republicans.  Liberals are just as stupid as conservatives.  Progressives are just as stupid as the freedom caucus. Real issues are tertiary at best. It’s all about the cult of personality.  We really are all the same.  Hillary supporters don’t know shit about Bernie but think he’s a lazy commie ammosexual and Bernie supporters think Hillary is a corporate whore who abdicated her responsibility for blowjobs to an intern.  Reminds me of the other party in black hats.

It’s goddamn depressing.  I watch these assholes online, on social media, posting memes and links to polls and vines that are completely absent any effort whatsoever.  No adult discussion of issues, policy or legislation.  And these are liberals, progressives and democrats.  Madness.  It really is like they are rooting for their favorite wrestler.

See, democrats do it with hope.

Republicans have completely lost the will to do legitimate, germane topics.  They no longer even bother.  They surrendered to the culture wars and other idiocy. Democrats are close behind.  They screech, whine and explode over their candidate.  Hillary supporters get ugly and Bernie supporters get mean at the drop of a hat. Neither side offers anything salient, both sides just start shooting.

It has burst my bubble for sure.

I understand now why we are where we are.

Drinks for my friends.

 

I’m sitting here watching yet another clusterfuck republican debate.

They talk about taxes like that’s the problem. We are paying less in taxes, particularly corporations and the wealthy, than we have in five decades.  They ignore what we spend that tax revenue on.

They talk about government being too big but never mention that government spending, with the exception of the ridiculously bloated defense budget, has been going down for years.

They talk about immigration like it is is some sort of cancer on the economy and that deporting all the dirty wetbacks is the path to remission when our economy would collapse in a goddamn month if they could somehow manifest this fantasy.

They talk about too much regulation when the lack thereof is what’s literally killing us.

They talk about the need to spend even more on “defense”.  A trillion dollars more.  I shit you not.  When was the last time American soil actually needed defending? We don’t defend shit.  We start wars and we already spend a trillion dollars a year to do it.  Ten times more, a thousand percent more, than any other country.  It is insane.

They talk about terrorism being our most compelling threat.  The last time we were attacked was by Saudis but they’re one of our most important allies so we attacked a country that didn’t have shit to do with it and destabilized the whole region so thoroughly that a third world war is now a realistic possibility.

They talk about concentration of wealth and income inequality but only to blame it on Obama as opposed to republican obstructionism while they all pissed on a $15 minimum wage by lying about it’s effects.  They actually argued that wages were too high.  Seriously.  Fuck me.

The very things that are strangling us are the same things that earn the most enthusiastic and boisterous applause.  They all talk about cutting taxes, eliminating regulation and making more war when those three things exclusively are the reason for the the shit storm we are in.

They don’t talk about climate change, despite our very own pentagon identifying it as our most existential threat.

They don’t talk about homeless veterans, homeless in general, poverty etc.  No solutions, no substance, nothing salient or germane.

They don’t talk about how we can possibly hope to compete with countries that pay to educate their populace and provide access to health care with tax revenue instead of starving their middle class with absurd “defense” budgets.

They don’t talk about gun violence and racial inequality.

It’s fucking brain damage on parade.

Then, right in the goddamn middle of the whole masturbatory circus, there’s a fucking commercial for some bullshit, nationalistic propaganda movie about Benghazi. I swear I imagined millions of FOX viewers simultaneously commencing to diddle themselves with this guarantee of actualization for their addiction to rage.  Fear porn just like they crave it. I feel sorry for the mouth breathing viewers who mistook it for the actual money shot and spent the second half of the debate flagellating themselves back to inspiration.

Drinks for my friends.

The whole notion that Americans are somehow morally superior or righteous in some God given way is one of the fattest loads of crap ever served up.

We are not.

We do adore these handiest and laziest of myths.

We are not possibly any better than the millions our government has murdered in pursuit of imperialistic adventure.  How can we stomach ourselves after sending our youngest adults with the common denominator of least potential to commit these atrocities and then ignore them once they return from being murderous pawns in a rigged game of geopolitical brinkmanship?  We sloganeer relentlessly about supporting our troops.  It’s disgusting.  We say it with bumper stickers and memes and yellow ribbons but we never discuss the mental anguish our greed has visited upon these completely clueless innocent soldiers.  They come back missing arms and legs.  They come back missing scoops of their brains.  They come back missing a reason to live because they were ordered to participate in the absolute worst humans are capable of and we can’t wait to lionize them right before we completely blow them off.

We never have to look at them.

We never actually see them.

We cheer lead and wax all jingoistic with the requisite poison dose of nationalism that justifies might being right.

We’re so badass.

We rewrite history books and even textbooks to hide the blood on our hands.  Holocaust is a word that Americans know because of WWII, not because of our own systematic genocide of native Americans.  We ascribe our very worst behaviors to God’s will and then we pray.  That fucks with me.  Really hard.

Just last week our hope and change democratic president committed to putting boots on the ground in Syria.  A small number.  Sure.  But after he basically swore he wouldn’t. Five million goddamn soldiers in that region with fat fucking defense budgets and we somehow have to put our kids in another hopeless goddamn mess.

For what?

For profit.

For advantage.

For the bullshit that no one but the 1% cares about.

Again.

And half of us take these assholes seriously.  These candidates that preach about our moral and ethical responsibility in a world gone mad that they either made or hope to make or keep making.  How can we be so goddamn dumb?  It’s completely useless unless you’re stinking rich.  America makes war for profit.  Exclusively. How many did we kill in Vietnam,  Korea,  Libya, or  Iraq?  What’s it gonna take for us to learn this lesson?  Shit gets exponentially worse when profits soar.

These wars, this massive amount of death and destruction cannot possibly make the world anything other than worse.  It makes the filthy rich even richer and exposes the rest of us as rubes. We haven’t actually won a war since WWII.  We haven’t actually declared a war since then.  We haven’t actually fought a war since then that didn’t make everything ten times worse.

Seriously.

We have the most devastating military in the history of humankind and that’s our biggest goddamn problem.

We really have to stop being such patsies.

We need to get over ourselves.

ISIS and Al Qaeda are not a threat to you.  Not even close to the threat domestic right wing evangelical nut job gun nuts are.  America’s most compelling problems are all domestic. All of our worries and troubles are homegrown.

The very best evidence of this is the concerted effort to convince us otherwise.

If we could just shave twenty five percent from our national aspiration to visit misery and death on whomever stands in our way, we could spend it on taking care of most of our problems and people.  We would still be, by far, the most powerful military in the history of our species.  There would then be the extra added benefit of us being roughly one quarter less giant dickheads on the world stage.

Drinks for my friends.