Archive for the ‘Benedict Fliptop’ Category

This is goddamn ridiculous.  No public option, no expansion of Medicare but a bill that still mandates Americans buy insurance from private, avaricious, corrupt, compassionless corporations that avoid caring for the sick as deftly as they obviate promoting health care for the healthy.  This is fucking bullshit.

Zero sum game.  Embarrassing.  All this work and debate.  We will end with nothing or worse than nothing.

Depends on how you look at it and what passes.

All the power in the hands of this jackass Lieberman?  How did that happen?  He says he’s getting closer to being able to vote for health care reform.  Closer?  Who the fuck is this guy?  I’ll tell you who he is.  His state, Connecticut, is ground zero for the insurance industry.  They give him tons of cake and they let him eat it too.  He first championed expansion of Medicare during his bid for the Vice Presidency with Al Gore.  He’s said it since in many ways and so many venues.  Now he says he’ll support a Republican filibuster for any bill containing that, or a public option.

That or a public option.

Benedict Fliptop, what a dick.  The ghost of Ted Kennedy should visit this asshole over the holidays and punch him in the mouth.  Then Teddy should show him the future of his Christmas’ with thousands dying and him losing elections.  I loathe this prick.  I will personally campaign against this douchebag like nobody’s business.  Did you know that Joe Lieberman has sex with prostitutes?

See?

He will never again represent the citizens of his state or anyone else in this country.

Then we have Ben Nelson from Nebraska.  He’s still not happy with the abortion language in the current bill.  This guy is a fuckhead.  This is not about your ridiculous moralizing, it’s about 140 people dying everyday for lack of coverage you asshole.  Ben Nelson and Trader Joe can take a long slow lick on my diseased scrotum.

Here’s the bottom line.  This bill mandates that we buy into this egregious clusterfuck without any mechanism for protecting us from their abhorrent policies.  If we don’t, we will be fined and that money will go directly to their coffers.  How’s that for truth, justice and the American way?  Here’s a shit sandwich, no condiments, no lettuce and no bread.  Just shit.

This is what the cause for health care reform has become.  A cool water sandwich and a Sunday go to meeting bun.  What do you want for nothing?  A rubber bisquit?  Bow bow bow.

See the job of our legislative branch has never been to legislate morality, although it too often has, it’s job is to legislate ethics and fairness, although it too often doesn’t.  This protracted and vulgar instance is a shiny red thumb of that example.

People are so fond of screaming for the reconciliation strategy.  What they don’t understand is that it’s a purely fiscal process.  Preventing big insurance companies from denying coverage for pre-existing conditions or exercising caps on lifetime or annual coverage is not possible in this process.

Dr. Howard Dean is a physician, that’s why he has that “DR.” before his name.  He’s also a former candidate for President of The United States and former chair of the Democratic party (DNC) where he was a leading architect in gaining a legislative majority in congress.  He’s smart and has the courage of his convictions.  Despite my impression that he always looks like he’s swallowed a turd or at least snorted one, I like him.  He’s tough and speaks truth to power whether it gets him in trouble or not.  This is a man who doesn’t give a mad fuck and has nothing to lose.  Tonight he announced on public television that the bill, as it exists, should be killed by Democrats.  He said that his recommendation to U.S. Senators is to vote against it.

That’s pretty heavy and it carries more than water where I’m concerned.

He pointed out that although the bill provides for no exclusion based on pre-existing condition, it does allow for charging three times as much based on age alone.  It’s a fecal falafel.

I understand there are important reforms still in this bill but they are rendered moot by the mandate that we purchase the product.  It’s right here that it becomes nothing more than smoking a Tootsie Roll of cat crap in hell.

We’ve reached a point where the greasy oily Republicans aren’t even a legitimate factor in the debate.  The ignorant fucktards have long since marginalized and rendered themselves inconsequential.  Now it’s just the Democrats fighting among themselves over the definition of “Real Reform”.

This really is nothing but a butt based product buffet.  Spoons up.

The good news better be what I think it is.  Reconciliation.  Could be used after some legislation has passed.  Fund stuff through the back door to support the bill, the policies, the ideal.

I’m really not holding my breath but you can’t telegraph that move even if both parties know what’s next.  It would be nothing short of grandiose to find out Harry and The Dems are as clever as Benny and The Jets.

I gotta tell ya, this piece has been easy to write but tough to stomach.

Drinks for my friends.

The latest figures indicate that the fiercely embattled public option will cover a mere two to three percent of the currently uninsured and the CBO says premiums will most likely be somewhat more than current market price.  Sounds like a wash to me.  Sounds like the sucking of a drain.  This whole thing is so fucking ridiculous.  Smoke and mirrors, dogs and ponies.  You can bet your ass, along with your lunch money, with those kinds of numbers, the whole thing is doomed to failure.

Spruce Goose bitches.

It will flop like Gerald Ford coming down the steps of Air Force One but it won’t ever get up again, at least not in my lifetime.

Good job everybody.

Jackasses.

The only customers it’s poised to attract will be our sickest and least likely to succeed.  No prom kings or queens here.  Bottom of the gene pool, unhealthy, lowlife, walkin’ the dog saps.  So it will be fiscally overburdened by virtue of our lowest common denominator and our last shot as the richest nation on earth to provide health care for our citizens will probably not even enjoy another attempt for at least half a century.  Good job Democrats, you fucking pussies and even better job Republicans you obstructionist, plutocratic, avaricious, disingenuous, lying pieces of self serving shit.

I really hate you guys.

Did I say that or just think it out loud?

Is there a difference?

Well, let me say this:  Fuck, fuck, fuck, snot and mucus and bile and shame and fear and stupid and puke………

You, Joe Lieberman, who’s state is ground zero for health insurance HQ’s and who announced publicly the intention to filibuster the very debate,  and you, John Boehner lay off the embarrassing spray on tan and you, Chuck Grassley you lying prick and you, Mitch McConnel with more chins than a Chinese phonebook and you, Max Baucus who can suck my caucus and you, Kent Conrad and you, Blanche Lincoln, you Democrats in name only………every single one of you has sold out the best and most important life or death interests of the American people in general and your own constituents in particular for what you know will line your pockets, get you you re-elected and is nothing more than a pack of aspersions, distortions and preposterous calumny.

Whomever the asshole was that declared health care reform to be Obama’s Waterloo, forgive me it was Jim DeMint, might just have been exactly right.  I don’t care who you are, that there’s fucked up.

This party might just might be over.

Have you no shame?  No decency?

Y’all negotiated and philandered, lied and decried, wrung your hands and whined like little bitches while thousands died and ended up with the pussy party (D), still being able to save face with a donut hole public option, the asshole party (R), still able to fool some of the people most of the time while still screwing them with an atomic fucking jackhammer that put them there and paid there salaries and benefits all of the goddamn time.

Sick.  Fucking sick.  Pun intended.

Everyone got what they wanted, what they imagined they needed, while the lobbyist pimps, four to one for every legislator, spent a million bucks a day to make sure they and their corporate sugar daddies maintained the status quo and everyone got paid.  You and me excepted, of course.

Because a horse is a horse of course of course and what does that make a dumbass donkey?

Cigars and cognac all around.

Some one hundred and twenty two people die every goddamn day because they lack the insurance to pay for what is killing them and the naysayers would have us debate socialism.  Government takeover.  Bullshit.  Not just a theater but an opera house, with excellent acoustics, of the shrill and reverberating absurd.

I’m needing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Seriously.

Some tomato soup.

Mission Accomplished.  Major combat operations are at an end.  It’s all over but the shouting.

If I did my job as well as you do yours, I wouldn’t have one.  Either that or I’d be a CEO.

This health care bill, all 1990 pages of it is going to be such a charade, facade and so spectacular a bellyflop of POLITICAL PORNOGRAPHY, so profound and disgusting, that any chance of, or attempt at, meaningful reform in banking, civil rights, justice, execution and prosecution of wars, foreign entanglements, energy, food supply, federal aide, education, accountability by any bureaucracy, institution, agency, corporation or industry will be so stained and suspect and blood spattered from other more egregious crimes, that this administration, all it’s good intentions intact, will experience a serious faceplant and we will all have been complicit in climbing decades backwards.

There’s you and there’s me, rip off the mask and let’s see.

We’ll march I guess, with rotting teeth and stage four cancer and we’ll get coupons for nachos and Hostess products at the 7-11.  They’ll sell those bacon wrapped franks along the quarter mile route.  There will will be tents for the overexerted at the halfway point.

Watch your NASCAR and your World Series while the politicians dither away at your rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  By the way, I was more than happy to see the Phillies hand the the Yankees their ass tonight and did you see the wrecks on Sunday at Talladega?  Nice that both Newman and Martin walked away.  But by the time both contests are actually decided, your life or death fate will most likely be determined well in advance.  If you are uninsured, it is likely you will remain uninsured.  Categorize yourself as therefore fucked.

The irony of death panels is that it’s a reality here and now.  The irony of health care rationing is that it exists and is practiced without compassion today.  The irony of socialized medicine, which we have now via Medicare and Medicaid, is that no country that enjoys it would ever give it up, us included.

There is no irony about the lies and obfuscation.  They are simply lies and and obfuscation.

The idea of single payer health care is among the most humane, compassionate and progressive notions ever implemented by modern states, governments and societies.  It is growth and progress where the human condition and even evolution are concerned.  After all, it does serve to affect the perpetuation of our species in a constructive way.  To utilize a small portion of the proceeds from our labor and largess to care for the people who are responsible for it, is a profoundly good idea from the perspectives of either the often mutually exclusive concepts of morality and commerce.

It makes fucking sense.

At least pot is legal in LA.

Drinks for my friends.

I rocked at Jeopardy tonight.  Even nailed the final Jeopardy question.  Rock of Gibraltar.

Shall we do a little politics?

First up, the alleged war between FOX and the White House.  Here’s my take:  FOX lies egregiously and irresponsibly.  Consistently.  They are shameless propagandists.    Therefore, they lose.  This President or any other has every right to neglect them, ignore them or even cast the occasional aspersion their way.  FOX is full of shit and any thinking, attentive American knows it.  It’s Obama’s prerogative.  It’s just that simple.  I kinda like that he’s dismissing them while saying he’s not losing any sleep over it.

Um, looks like the public option is alive once again.  Harry Reid says as much.  He told us yesterday he has the votes.  Turns out he probably doesn’t.  Olympia Snowe is blanching, or posturing as though she will, as I can’t imagine her blanching any more.  That bitch is pale.  Translucent.  Then there’s Lieberman.  Benedict Fliptop.  The little droopy eyed cartoon jowled prick announced he’d get behind a Republican filibuster on the public option.  You know he’s a former Democrat, now an Independent, allowed to retain his chairmanship of the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs by virtue of tacit agreement between he and Mr. Reid that he would play ball on domestic policy.  Just so happens he’s the junior Senator from Connecticut, the finest and most luxurious mall in the country for health insurance corporations.  He’s taken over a million bucks in the last five years from the medical plutocracy.

Without even a conversation, not so much as a memo, Benedict Fliptop should be stripped of his chairmanship and barred from even caucusing with the Democrats.  This should happen yesterday.  He should be made to eat peanut butter and jelly on the steps or dine with his stinky Republican abominogs.  If possible, he should be ejected from his DC residence, have his single payer health care revoked and be issued a shopping cart, a hoodie and fingerless gloves, maybe a few cans of Sterno.  This fucker needs to understand that it’s politicians like him what cause unrest.  His own goddamn state favors a public option by some 68%.  What an asshole.

Let the asshat obstructionists filibuster if the Democrats can’t get their house in order enough to vote for cloture.  Force their hand and make them embarrass themselves and their party on C-Span.  Mr. Reid, you boxed.  You’re tough.  I know because you signed and inscribed your book for me at the respectful behest of my mother.  Bring in the cots, order pizza and throw Senate decorum out the goddamn window, at the same time throw tomatoes and rotten fruit.  Roll up your sleeves Harry, get a nurse for the elderly members.  Make the Republicans actually filibuster.  This is one one of the most important issues of our time.  Popcorn and porn for the junior members and Geritol, sponge baths and plasma for the senior ones.  Do I need to remind you that what happens here is not at your convenience but quite possibly at our abrupt financial inconvenience and physical well being?

I joke but I’m serious.  If it comes down to it and the Republicans aren’t forced onto the floor for days and weeks to read from their favorite children’s books, we will be justifiably far beyond angry.  Shame them.  Make them pay for attempting to prevent what every citizen of the richest country in history deserves.  For five fucking percent of our defense budget this would be a done deal.  Get this done.  How long did you want to be Senate majority leader anyway?  This is a cruel joke.  The debate is for and by the stupid.

If we can pay for these ridiculous wars we can pay for the health and welfare of our people and that’s right out of my mothers mouth.  The very first campaign I ever worked in was for you as Lt. Governor, I think I was seven and you were a “Goldust Twin” along with Dick Bryan.  You simply must do everything you can and give this everything you have, or I will campaign against you next year.

Let’s talk about the war.  You know, that one in Afghanistan where more of our men and women have been killed this year than any of the other seven?  The one Darth Cheney has the prunes to accuse Obama of “dithering” over.  The one he and Dumbya dithered over for seven years and ultimately bequeathed this mess of way too much technicolor that mother Cheney made for us?  Darth Cheney has my vote for most evil, most ineffective, most dishonest and most destructive President never elected in the 21st century.  The epoch is young but we should pray he prevails.

My money is on him and I can only hope it’s how history judges him and his little dog too.

I have to tell you I don’t envy our President.  He inherited a shitstorm of clusterfucks.  The electorate is flirting with disappointment.  The village folk grow restless.  The goddamn unscrupulous Republicans are pouncing on anything that moves even if it’s in the throes of death.  They’re stockpiling pitchforks and fagots (no, like torches).  I admit my own handful of discouragements.

We would do well to remember however, that a mess this size took eight long years to manufacture and the public was complicit for at least five or six.  Most of you have just woken up and are still rubbing the shit dust from your eyes.  We may not be all about a rose garden economically but the entire worldwide system is no longer staring into the mouth of the dragon and withering from it’s breath.  Jobs is what we need but jobs is always the last to appear.  It’s dicey yet, but we are closer to some modicum of meaningful healthcare reform than we have ever, ever been in an effort nearly a century old.  Troops are coming out of Iraq and he’s doing his damnedest to figure out Afghanistan.  There is legitimate effort in Gitmo and I’m not sure we’re done torturing or wiretapping but I know we’re up to far less of it these days.  He’s reaffirmed his promises to the the Gay, Lesbian and Transgender community and I believe he will follow through.

You can’t always govern with the President you’d want, you have to govern with the President you have.  I for one am still absolutely confident we picked the very best man.  There is not a doubt in my mind.

Drinks for my friends.

He spoke clearly.  With confidence and conviction.

Righteous ferocity.

“Ours is not the first generation to understand the dire need for health reform. And I am not the first president to take up this cause, but I am determined to be the last.”

No more Rope-a-dope boys and girls.  Ha.

“We did not come here to fear the future; we came here to shape it.”

“The danger of too much government is matched by the perils of too little”

“If you misrepresent what’s in the plan, we will call you out.”

“But know this: I will not waste time with those who have made the
calculation that it’s better politics to kill this plan than improve
it.”

As for the “Deathers”:

“Such a charge would be laughable if it weren’t so cynical and irresponsible. It is a lie, plain and simple.”

And the Republicans.  The Fucking Republicans like Boehner and Cantor and McConnell and Hatch, who sat seething and smirking with turds in their mouths.  Transparent and stupid.  Cantor texting.  What a dick.  The whiplash of your arrogance is on the way.  Half of you will be gone come 2010.  I can’t wait.

Republican Joe Wilson actually shouted “You lie” while Obama assured us that reform will not cover illegal immigrants.  Fucktard.  Our Man flashed anger and moved on without missing a beat.  A superhuman burst of restraint, composure and civility.  A class act Our Man.  Not less than brilliant in the face of callow contemptible disrespect directed at a man who has earned and deserves nothing but respect.  He didn’t miss a beat, wasn’t rattled or even distracted.  We are lucky to have this man leading our country.  Forgive my gushing, but that brief moment reinforced everything I admire about our president.

At the end of the day, Joe Wilson did us all a favor by exposing what jackasses the contemporary GOP are.  Thanks Joe, you’re still an asshole, but I thank you for being one.

He stared down those Republicans.  Watch it.  When he looks to the right on television he’s looking to his left in the chamber.  The irony of where Republicans sit has never been lost on me.  Observe the steel of his countenance and the fire in his eyes.  He was picking them out and staring them down individually.  One by one.  The unspoken question, are you reptiles or humans?  His words and his gestures signaled unequivocally that the blatant ridiculous fuckery is over.

You know Fox news carried some reality show instead of the speech.

Whatever.

He delivered unambiguous  and vigorous support for a public option with some amount of caveat.  We’ll have to wait and see but I welcome the predilection.

Then Charles Boustany appeared on my screen and lied.  The same boilerplate, fear based bullshit.  He spoke as though he hadn’t heard the speech the president had just given.  Actually, given logistical constraints, he obviously hadn’t.  It was a joke sans punchline.  Pathetic, out of touch and he looked a fool as much as Jindal did.  How do they get these poor bastards to do this?

The GOP are famous for exploiting the stupid, often of late towards their own demise.

The Republican party has never looked more like a bunch of dickheads than they did tonight.  They have marginalized themselves with help of an unforeseen catalyst of Barack Obama’s expert political judo.

I have been frustrated for months now at the political calculus from the White House.  The passive taking of blow after blow on the ropes like some cheesy boxing movie.  I was disheartened and becoming bewildered.  Now I wonder if he really did know what he was doing the entire time.  Let them swing and shout, taunt and lie until they trod heavily on their own pudenda and cease to lay leather at all on anything that matters.

Masterful.

He may just be that good.

Wow.

Can one speech, even if before the entire congress and a national television audience (except Fox), function as a game changer for such a momentous and hotly contested concern?  The question on the lips of almost every progressive in America since it was announced.  We shall see.  It is more than incumbent on me however,  to point out that this is no ordinary president.  By that I mean he is extraordinary.  He did exceptionally well tonight.  Tone, nuance, sincerity and an overt sinewy rigor were all on display.

Impressive and I’m impressed.  The character of our country.  The letter from Teddy Kennedy.  He framed it earnestly and effectively as a moral imperative and I have no reservation in declaring him to be absolutely right about that.  Invoking Teddy was an appropriate, as well as emotional homage to a man who declared this the cause of his life.

Obama has once again acquitted himself a very smart man.  A very sensitive man.  An incredibly capable man.  Deft and adroit and not to be underestimated.

Awesome.

He came off the ropes to swing hard and with precision.  An expert boxer against a reckless and stupid brawler.  They retire to their respective corners, our man fresh and with lightning in his eyes and fists furious.  The brawler with legs of rubber, pukes his bloody mouthpiece, head swimming eyes confused as his crew goes to work and dreading the bell.

Todd Westergard, you may have been correct sir.

Show us this until it’s done Mr. President and we are golden.

Well done Mr. President.  Very well done.

Drinks for my friends.

Cheney and Gonzales indicted by grand jury. Stevens loses in Alaska and Lieberman gets to carry on while we try to move on. Tres Grandes beg for big cash and I can’t believe Our Man is smiling. Sheezus.

I hate that Benedict Fliptop gets off easy. He sucks. If he doesn’t owe, there won’t be an ounce of flesh from anybody else. No truth, no consequences. Harry Reid says nolo contendere. It’s done. Pussies. Flopsweat cowboys in big stupid hats.

“(CNN) — A grand jury in south Texas indicted Vice President Dick Cheney and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on separate charges related to alleged prisoner abuse in federal detention centers, Willacy County District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra told CNN Tuesday”

I hear this guy’s a bit of a loose cannon, already voted out of office and described by an underling’s lawyer as a “one man circus.” Whatever. Godlovehim. He got a grand jury to indict Gonzales and the VP. Get his headstone ready and make sure this deed is etched upon it. Let’s start an aluminium can drive to pay for it. Ha! Give that man a can of warm beer and an American flag. Lifetime supply of Slim Jims and special packages from Frito Lay, Hostess and Kraft. Free cable. Nascar tickets.

What we have here is an American.

Meanwhile, having just been dropped by an air & sea rescue helicopter onto the deck of the USS Fuck Me Runnin’, Obama had this to say via ship radio, “Wow, this shit is fucking whack. Where’s the goddamn bridge? We need an assload of helicopters ’cause we aint staying here. Si se puede get us the fuck out of here.”

HillRod for Secretary of State by God!

This man is walking towards the four horses of the apocalypse. He has a water pistol. I trust. He’s as good or better swordsman than anyone else who had a shot. Handy with a sixgun. He’s about to be ambushed by the full weight of the world. A world, in as close to as bad a shape as anytime in written history.

He knows this.

And he’s smiling.

Hands folded in his lap.

Looked Steve Kroft in the eye Sunday night and had a lot to say. Just as cool as could be. A full hour on 60 Minutes. *President Cucumber. Awe inspiring composure. The most intelligent and well executed campaign I’ve ever seen. Best that anyone alive has ever seen. He suffered the slings and arrows and just kept coming.

He just kept coming. Extraordinary and we’re about to find out how.

Will Atlas shrug?

I say, he’s not too sexy for his shirt.

Walk right out into a brand new day.

Drinks for my friends.

*nickname alert

It is wholly appropriate for the velocity of the RNC to be so compromised by a hurricane falling to land on the Gulf Coast almost three years to the day after a hurricane named Katrina did the same. The response, to that storm, which Republicans fucked up so badly, it’s become a stain on the party and an avatar of of their compassionless failure and clueless ineptitude.

They didn’t even know how bad they’d screwed it up until it was almost over. By then, they didn’t care.

“The Republicans can’t seem to get a break when it comes to August and when it comes to the weather,” Karl Rove, -TPM

How convenient it morphed into a reason for preventing Dumbya and Darth from bearing witness; pariahs both in their own party. A little gift from Mother Nature to the Republicans. They clearly weren’t looking forward to that kind of steerage. Nevermind the cartage.

Laura Bush gets up and kicks it off by touting the unfunded mandate we know as “No Child Left Behind”. She says that apparently some fifty million people now live in freedom in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sheezus. First huge lie.

Still, I kinda like her. She has an absent minded dignity that’s a little infectious.

I only say that because somewhere, I have sympathy for her.

Next, we get Dumbya on the satellite. More POW bullshit. Standard bogus boiler plate lies. Empty words from an empty suit. Requisite references to 911. Yawn. I’m reminded for the millionth time that his eyes are too close together.

Thankfully, both speeches are brief.

Lotsa empty seats.

Well then, it’s the obligatory tribute to Reagan. A man who became the catalyst for the devastation of America’s middle class. A man who brought Russia to her knees by outspending them at the expense of America’s workers and the enrichment of the military industrial complex and therefore, the wealthiest among us. Trickle down economics my ass.

Reagan sucked. Why do Republicans insist on being so gay for him?

Fred Thompson’s speech blows. Sarah Palin. What a joke. He tells us the choice for her as VP has panicked the Democrats. Good luck with that. It does crack us up. What a tool. He touts her ability to “field dress a moose”. Do I need to highlight the obtuseness of that? I hope not.

We hear more about Doubtfire’s time in Vietnam. I respect his service and his sacrifice, but that’s where it ends with me. I’m impressed. But that’s it. He gives credit to Republicans for balancing the budget and rebuilding the military. Good luck with that too. He’s lying. The second huge lie. I think that was a guy named William Jefferson C.

John McCain will not feel the need to apologize for America. Arrogance. Then, what has become beyond trite and cliche, the tax scare and abortion. Republicans are still that stupid. Fred Thompson is that stupid.

What’s up with all the empty seats?

All the crowd can manage to chant is USA. They can’t seem to wrap a rythm around two syllables or four.

I guess Benedict Fliptop (Lieberman) is up next. Oh boy. I really hate this guy.

He goes to the economy and terrorism right away. He takes a swing at unity. The camera pans to Gingrich a handful of times. Curious. The camera finds a Black guy standing and clapping. Bonus.

Colbert would demand an Asian.

Lieberman tells us he’s a Democrat. Bullshit, He’s an Independent. Democrats abandonded him because he’s an idiot. Whatever. His speech is completely empty. No substance. I see a Democrats for McCain sign but ‘Democrats’ is spelled wrong. Take what you will from that.

I must tell you that although I’m an aspiring pacifist, I fantasize about punching Benedict Fliptop in the mouth. Hard. A haymaker. What a douchebag. The only reason he’s there is because he wants war to continue, he wants it to grow. All I see is a man who cares far more about Israel than he does America. I loathe him.

They have nothing. The Repubilcans have shown up to a firefight with those cool Star Trek toy guns that shot little plastic discs. Remember those? If not, please substitute squirt guns in your mind’s eye.

What we have here, is a failure to communicate.

There’s some post convention interviews on the floor as I leave CNN’s coverage. A group of delegates from Texas all dressed in matching outfits. They say they are proud of Dumbya for what he’s done for pro life issues and faith based institutions. They say it was painful to applaud to applaud Bill Clinton.

Forgive me here, but you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. All that goes on in the world every goddamn day and that’s the top of their goddamn list?

By the way, Campbell Brown rocks. She pissed on Tucker Bounds’ lunch. She did it with restraint and discretion and still cleaned his clock because he was woefully unprepared. I guess it cost Larry King a McCain interview tomorrow night. What a pussy is Doubtfire.

The demonstrations and the arrests continue to gain mass and attention. This may end up being half the story.

Drinks for my friends.

is some Joe Biden.

And I am not at all unhappy about it. This is a man who is sharp and brave, unafraid to say what he thinks. Unapologetically more than a loose lipped cashier. Tangle with this man at your peril. He doesn’t know about gloves.

I like that his fuse is as obvious as it is.

“This is bullshit. This is malarkey. This is outrageous. Outrageous for the president of the United States to go to a foreign country, sit in the Knesset … and make this kind of ridiculous statement,” Biden said angrily in a brief interview just off the Senate floor.” -Poitico, Ben Smith.

Symmetry. Fire and nuance. Grey hair and youth. Experience and fresh ideals. No ideology.

Two swinging dicks.

Chairman of the U.S. Senate Committee on Foreign Relations. Former chair and still member of the U.S. Senate Committee on the Judiciary. Thirty six years in the Senate. This guy is good.

I can’t forget watching the C-Span footage of Biden gritting his teeth, looking like he was going to come over the table at Ashcroft during the very first Senate hearings on torture. It was brilliant. He was so disgusted with the United States Attorney General he had no hope to disguise it and he didn’t care.

Now I can’t help but salivate over the anticipation of Biden against either Romney or Lieberman or maybe Ridge in the debates. I can’t wait to see Benedict Fliptop or Guy Smiley with the magic underwear at the end of Biden’s whip. The Republicans don’t have shit. This just may be really good stuff.

Be afraid Republicans. Be very afraid. There’s a freight train of subtlety, intelligence and burning brimstone steaming right at you. She’s fully loaded, gathering steam and she’ll be racing at full speed by the time you meet her.

This is good stuff.

It is an informed and wise choice in light of the dramatic shift the office of the Vice Presidency has enjoyed under Richard Bruce Cheney. You can vomit a mouthfull about the evil bastard but we must own the paradigm shift he’s engineered in terms of the office he occupies.

Biden is a presence and Obama is no fool. He’s signed a powerful and willfull man as his partner. Hillary’s shadow was too long. All the others cast a shadow far too short. Biden’s is just right.

Here we go. Come the Fall, there will be blood.

This is gonna be good.

Drinks for my friends.

McCain: “In The 21st Century Nations Don’t Invade Other Nations”

Sheezus!

This from a moron who doesn’t understand the difference between Sunni and Shia or that there even is one. This from a man so obtuse as to say in a primary debate that Americans are better off than four or eight years ago. This from a man so ignorant and stupid as to describe an appearance in Baghdad acommpanied by blackhawk helicopters and dozens of heavily armed soldiers as no different than a Sunday afternoon stroll in some bucolic American neighborhood.

Word is he’s thinking about Lieberman as a running mate. That beats Romney in absurdity by a mile.

The problem is that this idiot is a serious contender for President of The United States. The problem is that there are that many dipshits voting.

Obviously, Iraq means America and the Bush administration have virtually no credibility or authority regarding the conflict between Russia and Georgia. So absent either in fact, they look silly trying to talk about it.

Russia has basically invited Dumbya to piss up a rope.

The Keystone Cops, indeed.

Next we have this asswipe, Jerome Corsi, dropping another turd of a tome filled with copious quantities of complete bullshit about Our Man. The aforementioned voters, well, the ones that can actually read, will no doubt hoover this crap like it’s the next New Testament or some cheesy bodice ripper with extra large print and a diminutive number of adjectives.

I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that this is even a contest. I’ve said that before. I doubt it’s the last time. I can’t help but lament what looks for all the world like willful ignorance. Ten percent still believe our man to be Muslim. So what if he was? Turns out he’s a Christian. At least he’s nondenominational. I have no more or less respect for Christians than Muslims. Why would I? I’ll bet the ratio between crazy fanatics and well intentioned altruists is near identical.

Who knows how many Muslims are pedophiles with autonomy granted by their faith?

Wake up. Muslims are no more a threat than any other group, religion or country on this bright blue marble. What will it take to convince the great unwashed to stop panicking at shadows and think for themselves?

People amaze me.

For the record, I’m reading Vincent Bugliosi’s “The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder” and he’s pretty pissed. On Deck is Pasty McSquinty’s “What Happened”. I’m really looking forward to Ron Suskind’s new one.

Whatever.

Drinks for my friends.

It’s more than interesting, all this speculation. The pundits pontificating, the dumb ones bloviating.

Benedict Fliptop was Gore’s choice and I thought it was a mistake at the time. I’m not sure it cost him much at all in the end. People don’t really vote for a Vice President.

Here’s a list of who I’d like to see McCain pick:

Mitt Romney. Guy Smiley. Consumate asshat. Magic underwear combined with abject cluelessness. Talk about an intellectual boat anchor. Forgive me but I’m of the opinion that the man named Mitt is the biggest fuckhead to ever run for President.

Big Jim Slade. Doubtfire could use a man of African heritage with a penis. A big penis.

Johnny Horton. Wrote some pretty good patriotic songs. Unfortunately he’s been dead for almost half a century.

Skeletor. Rudy Giuliani. He’s a complete idiot and it would be very funny.

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The chaos would be awesome. When the Bootlicker expires by simply turning to dust, I’ll be looking forward to press conferences with a nice melody.

Shug Knight. He’ll get arrested within the first month for beating the shit out of some prominent Democrat and trying to shake them down.

Bob Dole. He’s hysterically funny without meaning to be or even realizing it and he’s pretty old too.

Marty Feldman and Don Knotts. Just picture it. Ocular buggery.

A woman with a nice big ass. Just because I like that.

Hefty rack on her too.

Gore Vidal. I bet he’d piss in every corner of the Oval Office for which an opportunity became available. Could be counted on to get drunk and disparage his boss consistently wherever cameras are rolling.

Jesus. I bet he’d piss in every corner of the Oval Office for which an opportunity became available. Could be counted on to get drunk and disparage his boss consistently wherever cameras are rolling.

The Jolly Green Giant. Ho ho ho, Green Giant!

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Doubtfire wrestled in high school and I’d really like to see them go at it on TV in front of everyone. They’re about the same size but the Iranian President is much younger. Leaner, more muscular. Smells better. Old Spice vs. something by Fabergé.

Start by imagining them both in unitards.

Not sure which is meaner.

But, I’m thinking Ahmadinejad, (red ‘tard), would make short work of McCain (blue ‘tard). It would be genius television. Right there behind the podium. Doubtfire would tap out of course. He’d do that creepy chuckle at the post game press conference and have Mahmoud beset by Vietnamese Ninja before midnight.

Despite the rather obvious potential for death, hundreds would line up for a shot at McCain.

Where am I going with this? I must confess, I have no idea. It’s like I’m smoking reason. I mean resin.

Larry King is on with Hulk Hogan and a guy I assume is the Hulk’s lawyer. The sound is off. This lawyer guy has the worst toupee I’ve ever seen and it looks like it’s covering a fresh brain surgery wound. I’m really not sure what I’m seeing. I refuse to unmute it. I just can’t.

I’ll feel dirty and common.

There’s that and the fact that I don’t give a mad fuck about Hulk Hogan or his kid. No ill will, I just don’t care.

Indulge me for a second. It’s not like I think he’s a bad guy, I simply have no reason to care about his struggles anymore than anyone else I don’t know. He’s a celebrity but he hasn’t done anything important. He’s no Stephen Hawking, Eddie Van Halen, Steinbeck or Capote.

His clothes are ridiculous. He amuses me. Like a clown. I wish him the best. No reason not to.

Where were we?

Drinks for my friends.

So, not a day of sartorial splendor for America’s once well turned out economy. We used to clean up well. These days the only thing clean is our clocks. Sorry.

In a single day the market plunged almost four hundred points. Unemployment numbers flirt with a redline. Dino juice was over a hundred and thirty eight fucking dollars a barrel. The news on foreclosures and households in arrears is bad. Very bad.

This shit is getting serious.

My point is this. How much longer does McCain imagine we can get away with spending half a million a minute in Iraq? While we’re on the subject, he’s openly admitted economics is not his strong suit. Still wants to keep tax cuts to the wealthy permanent. Seems to really like the war.

What does he do when his face itches? He shouldn’t leave home without a plastic pasta spoon. Keep it in his jacket pocket. That’s what I use to reach areas I’d otherwise be unable to.

He resisted Secret Service protection. That speaks volumes. A single sided example of the difference between courage and stupidity. Curmudgeonly old bastard desperate to believe he’s as invincible as he once was. Who would vote for this guy?

There’s a lotta ignorant folks want this guy runnin the show. I hope there’s enough of us with a modicum of common sense.

I know we’ve been over this a lot. Search under McCain, Doubtfire or Little Bootlicker in my categories for more facts and disparaging remarks.

I’m gonna do a glossary soon.

I hear Our Man Obama led Lieberman by the tie into a dark corner of the Senate chambers today and kneed him in the balls a few times while gently cradling his head. I welcome this news because I can’t stand Lieberman’s face. It goes without saying that everything from his allegiances, loyalties and integrity are dubious these days. I’m of the opinion that Uncle Joe can use a little playground justice at the hands of the Democratic nominee.

He’s an orthodox Jew. I tend to not give the overtly religious the benefit of the doubt, a weakness, perhaps a failing. I doubt it. He’s gleefully obsequious with Dick-in-Bush and AIPAC, as well as Doubtfire. Fool.

He needs a name.

Benedict Fliptop.

First name is obvious. Surname is due to his enormous lip span. That’s lip span. I picture his head opening all the way back. Like a broken PEZ dispenser.

Benedict Fliptop sucks.

I think he’s on Doubtfire’s shortlist for Assistant Manager. That would be very nice. It would guarantee comedy. They could play Stratego in the van between gigs.

They could hit the road after they lose.

Appalachia!

America needs a makeover.

The oficial Brainspank prediction is a win by a significant margin for the good guys.

Drinks for my friends.