Biden v Palin -by J

October 2, 2008 – Thursday – 10:09 AM
Biden v Palin
Biden v Palin, no Governor, that’s not a supreme court decision, but I thought you would have at least remembered:

EXXON SHIPPING CO. ET AL. v. BAKER

Isn’t she the governor of Alaska? Isn’t she all about the oil industry?

Tonight we all get to see exactly how deep our vice presidential candidates are. Are they well versed in the world, do they know policies of their presidential candidate, how will they fair on the big stage without a teleprompter?

These are the questions I want to have answered, but I’m pretty sure all we will see is a preview to Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live.

Watch for content over zingers. Frankly I say we elect the smartest people, not the funniest or the “Joe Six Pack”. While I’m at it, how many of you want to see “Joe Six Pack” in the White House? Me neither.

For now, here are a few jokes to warm the crowd up, I’ll be here all day and night, so don’t forget to tip your servers… I’ll be updating through out the day and tonight as the debate unfurls.

Now for the jokes:

Sarah Palin’s been practicing for the big debate tonight in Arizona. Earlier today, we heard she shot a donkey.

Palin’s staff has tried to find a stand-in to pretend to be Joe Biden, but so far all they’ve come up with is a tree stump. Which actually sounds about right.

Even though she’s not expected to do well in the debate, she is favored heavily in Friday’s swimsuit competition.

Top Ten Things Overheard at Sarah Palin’s Debate Camp

10. Let’s practice your bewildered silence

9. Can you try saying ‘Yes’ instead of ‘You betcha’?

8. Hey, I can see Mexico from here!

7. Maybe we’ll get lucky and there won’t be any questions about Iraq, taxes, or healthcare

6. We’re screwed!

5. Can I just use that lipstick-pit bull thing again?

4. We have to wrap it up for the day — McCain eats dinner at 4:30

3. Can we get Congress to bail us out of this debate?

2. John Edwards wants to know if you’d like some private tutoring in his van

1. Any way we can just get Tina Fey to do it?

During the Sarah Plain interview with Katie Couric on CBS News, Sarah Palin could not remember the name of a newspaper or magazine that she reads. I was thinking, “Wow — possibly, a leader of the country who doesn’t read.” Then I thought, “Well hell, it’s worked pretty well for George Bush.”

A new poll shows only 1 out of 4 people approve of the job President Bush is doing. That means when he’s having dinner with his wife and two daughters, he’s the only one at the table who thinks he’s doing a good job.

Economists are now claiming that our nation’s leaders didn’t properly explain the bailout plan to the public. After hearing this, President Bush said, ‘While you’re at it, someone should explain it to me.”

It’s been reported that John McCain is taking an herbal supplement to improve his memory. Apparently, McCain is having trouble remembering why he picked Sarah Palin.

Last night during an interview on CBS, Sarah Palin said, ‘One of my best friends is a lesbian, and I love her dearly.’ After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, ‘Prove it.”

New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg says he’s interested in running again, but there’s resistance because the law would have to be changed to allow for a third term. It’s not that people have a big problem with Mike Bloomberg, they just don’t want to give President Bush any ideas.

John McCain said he turns to Sarah Palin for foreign policy advice. And then he turns to his wife Cindy, to get her to cut his meat.

Scary day in Washington today — they found a hand grenade in a park. At first they thought the worst, but it turns out Cheney just went for walk, and it fell out of his pocket.

Have any good warm up funnies?

Need more, or had ENOUGH?

J

5 Responses to “Biden v Palin -by J”

  • The Palin/Biden debate…kids: there’s no possible way to satirize it properly. Hell, Tina Fey and the entire SNL cast will probably be watching the debate and thinking, “S#!t…they already did our job for us”

    We have one who can’t think outside the [Malibou Barbie] box [or script], versus one who trips over the box [or rather, his own tongue].

    What the hell is a political comedian to do under those circumstances?

    Well written, J – and great idea, Michael, for bringing him on board!

  • Betty:

    “John Edwards wants to know if you’d like some private tutoring in his van.”

    hilarious!

  • raindancing:

    Paul who, was thinking, Brittany Spears, no wait, how bouts her mama Lynn Spears. Is Palin the Alaskan version of the Spears family. Sweet Home Alabama.

  • raindancer:

    Funny, blog J, thanks. I can’t wait for Saturday Night Live tonite! I keep thinking Lynn Spears, Brittanys Spears, mother will show up and do Sarah Palin, do Tina Fey.

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