Boiling it down

I hate it when I’m a cop on TV and my informant gets whacked for talking to me.

I hate when I’m newspaper editor in a movie and I have to bury a story because of political pressure.

Just as bad when I’m a defense attorney and I know my client is guilty or when I’m a prosecutor and the defendant is innocent.

How can people eat sardines or pickled pigs feet? Sheezus.

I don’t like elevators. Every single time I get in one, I imagine worst case scenario. I lived in an old building in Korea Town. I lived on the top floor. The fourth floor. In three years, I never stepped foot inside it.

Why don’t they just sell those peanuts from Crackerjacks seperately?

I’m kinda anxious for time travel and instant transportation, as long as my identity and soul aren’t atrophied by the requisite scrambling of my molecules.

Smoking a cigarette in hard wind really mitigates the pleasure.

If it’s a Mercedes, there’s a good chance the driver is an asshole.

Man I hate getting stuck behind a truck or a bus.

I cannot figure out whether or not Andy Dick is an idiot.

I don’t beileve I’ve met or known a woman named Claire.

I like to jump to conclusions and then retrace my steps.

I’m instantly uncomfortable when pointed at.

Smiles are golden but frowns are interesting and entertaining. You should see the frown my oldest cat wears by default.

Looks like we have massive vote fraud in Alaska. Por ejemplo, turnout was down fourteen percent despite Alaska’s favorite daughter running for Vice President. There’s more. Google it.

Let me tell ya something.

Although I think the idea of combining coffee bars with bookstores is brilliant, I rarely take advantage. I make it a point to bring a book whenever I dine alone.

I miss toast. It’s been a while.

What’s the smartest thing to come out of a woman’s mouth? Einstein’s cock.

I had a nightmare last night where I had a forest of black hair covering my torso. It would make Ed Asner and Robin Williams blush on my behalf. Now where the fuck did that come from?

Endeavoring to be honest is often a burden. The level of commitment always mirrors the proportion of angst.

Do people who go crazy ever realize they were crazy and regret it?

I hate it when the goddamn vampires show up.

I really hope that those of you who would sacrifice liberty for security take it upon yourselves to shut the fuck up now.

Drinks for my friends.

7 Responses to “Boiling it down”

  • Junior'sGhost:

    I’m not a TV superhero but I love the shows that play in my head.

    You’ve never had fun until you’ve been on a bad elevator. It’s kinda like having sex in Matamoros.

    My mother’s maiden name is Le Claire.
    Does that count.

    The nightmare could be the remnants of a secret crush on Diane Fossey.

    And never, ever, have I regretted being crazy for even one moment.

    Keep up the good work.

    Morgan and coke, twist of lemon, please.

  • admin:

    Done. Do I know you?

  • Moosewoman is still in the news.
    STILL.
    Alright, now…I know and understand the idea that consumes and is consumed by the Company Line and Partisan Politics. And as much as the strongest may try to shed it, or discount it, I realize its importance and imminent role.
    You vote for who they tell you to, as a whole.
    Shut up about your damn individualistic integrity already and LOOK FURTHER.
    There.
    You see it?
    We all do it, so just suck it up and let my point proceed.
    I’ll give the GOP supporters the benefit of the doubt. They didn’t choose Moosewoman. Doubtfire did. They were forced to rally behind her.
    What is mind blowing for me is that there is chatter of her repeating her attempt at high office.
    from the AP:
    [Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin says she wouldn’t hesitate to run for the presidency in four years if it’s God’s will, even though she never thought Campaign 2008 would be “as brutal as it turned out to be.”

    “I’m like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door.”]

    I thought she was already shown the door. Not the one she prayed for, I guess. Did God fuck up and show her the wrong one? hmm. I guess she’s saying she’ll give the almighty the chance to redeem himself.

    Here’s the problem. If this tart is given the opportunity to entertain us in the limelight again, it’s because Grand Old Party People allowed and sponsored it, which I would have no sympathy for. THAT would be the frighteningly embarrassing event that would make free-thinkers around the world ashamed to co-inhabit the planet with such cretins.

    FDR says we need a stiff drink.

    Glad you’re here.

  • smarter:

    hey hunter no one cares that you’re friends with the admin on this site. you shouldn’t have a link on your name either. your little hippie band sucks. the sissy peace and love movement will always fail and the war machine will roll on. get a life loser

  • To “smarter” …

    Wow.

    You are either the liveliest flamebait I have ever seen, or the long-dreaded and final confirmation that there always must exist someone who actually lives how most only allow themselves to think briefly. Honestly, I could never accurately describe you, but you strike me as the voice that first told Dahmer to take a bite, our cursed 666th monkey, or cheney’s own pet schadengeist. Put another way; you are the earthly essence of the twisted doppelganger of conscience warhawks use to justify killing us all. You are not a sincere human being, of this there can be no question.

    Should this dreaded ladder case explain your inexcusable fucktardedness; I will take solace in the fact that you have likely just pissed off the part of Jesus that might have actually felt a little bit bad for turning over some bankers tables. Whatever compassion our savior might have had, was probably just about obliterated by that size 9 you just bit. The flaming sword should arrive shortly. I hope you are satisfied, if only to complete the circle of my tortured logic.

    Your lamentable trollery has been answered, and quenched under a waterfall of outlandish and obstreperous metaphysics. If your attention span were capable of permitting it, I’d suggest that you check my link, too, but I know it doesn’t and that your diseased thoughts would hemorrhage through your horns if it tried. I put it there for everyone else, anyway. [salt helps]
    So, uh, thanks for the giggles, puppet-fuck-you-mike.

    Mike …
    As always, thank you. It’s tough being driven to vitriol by compassion, but this oasis shines high as exemplary and inspirational to all that may behold your excoriating catharses!

    Snake Blood, please!

  • smarter:

    hey smarter-er or admin in disguise. what I said in a few words took you a movie of 123 minutes. exact same point. thanks for cementing the truth

  • “smarter” …
    It was already abundantly clear that your sentiments are insincere. You have now revealed that your insincerity is based on distorted perceptions. Therefore, I now reply, not to you, but to those that might assume your words reflect any kind of reality.

    So let me be clear:
    I don’t know Hunter in any way.
    Furthermore, the irony of your hateful words is that I never would have listened to his music if you had kept your venomous gob shut. By speaking out against it, you drew my attention, and I found myself enjoying music outside of my own ordinary preferences. This was, in part, in spite of your angry clamor. By piping up against them, you became a better promoter for “the Sheaks” than they ever could have found to target me.

    I don’t know Mike in any way. I am a casual reader, like you. Though unlike you, I read to be inspired by the positivity of Mike’s words. Clearly, you intend to tear people down, rather than uplift anybody.

    I am in no way associated with the makers of the film to which you were linked, nor do I agree with every assertion made therein.
    If, as it seems, you sat through it without learning anything, [then subsequentially – agreeing?] then I congratulate you for wasting the energy that had to be wasted for your pointless imaginary wars to continue. Please consider purchasing a video projector and frequently displaying this film in public for as many or as few viewers as you please.

    With that out of the way, I’ll address the alleged immortality of this “war machine” …

    Knowing as I do, that;
    A) You are, at present, full of shit.
    B) The shit filling you is imaginary,
    1 – though still no less shitty for you.
    C) You have time and need to be lectured.

    We may assume, no statement made by you should be believed by anybody, least of all – you.

    In other words, you are lying to yourself. This is OK, if you are in a coma. Since you apparently have the ability to interact with the world, I would caution you to do so with the utmost forethought and skepticism.

    The conciseness in which you have taken pride came at the cost of your believability.

    Stop thinking that the world will never change. In fact, that is all it can ever do. It is your responsibility to prophesy, if you must, based on the strongest available evidence.

    There is no evidence that this “war machine” will be able to “roll on” for more than another few decades, at most.

    That was the point of the film, and I’m glad you agree.

    … By the way, anyone know where I can make some salt?

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